Thursday, July 16, 2009

Stephen Colbert Cracks Me Up

While waiting for my optometrist appointment, I had a extensive selection of magazines to choose from: Family Circle, Better Homes and Gardens and Newsweek. What no People, no US Weekly?

Sigh--the things I must endure...

Anyway, as it turned out, the issue of Newsweek was the one that was guest edited by Stephen Colbert. I'm sure the receptionist was wondering why I was shaking with laughter. An excerpt of his "From the Editor" column titled "Why I Took This Crummy Job:"

"Turns out there are still 135,000 troops in Iraq, which I don't understand because we've already won the war. And we've won it so many times. We should win something for the number of times we've won it. We eliminated the weapons of mass destruction by having them not exist. We took out Saddam Hussein—or a really convincing and committed Saddam Hussein double. We helped write the Iraqi Constitution and clearly gave Iraqis the right to bear a lot of arms. And by August of next year we'll withdraw every single one of our troops, leaving behind only memories and 50,000 troops.

But despite our continued victories, Americans have many lingering questions about Iraq. For example: where is Iraq? My guess is somewhere near Paraguay.

I wanted to find the answers. So when Jon Meacham asked me to guest-edit NEWSWEEK, I jumped at the chance, particularly because my guest editorship at Mature -Honeys fell through. I guess my photo essay of sexy housewives reenacting the Battle of Fallujah was too "real" for them.

Of course, guest editing is more than just sitting around tanning myself by the gleam of Fareed Zakaria's teeth. I set the editorial agenda, assigned stories and yelled at Peter Parker to get me more photos of that web-slinging vigilante, Spider-Man. He's a menace!"

"Tanning myself by the gleam of Fareed Zakaria's teeth..."

Every time I've ever seen promos for the CNN personality, I've thought to myself, "My god, that's a scary smile!" Colbert--as usual--nails it.

Read the whole piece at

Howlingly funny...

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