Wonderfalls

This one-season wonder series which aired in 2004 is rabidly adored by fans--if IMDB's ratings are to be believed. Prompted by Elisabeth (due to our shared love of all things Lee Pace), I added it to my Netflix queue.

Having watched it, I can now understand why--despite its strong and loyal following--it was fated for an untimely cancellation. The quirky show had both its charms and its flaws, but its number one failing was: not enough Lee Pace!

Yes, Elisabeth--he's hella cute (and so is his hair!) in this show where he plays Aaron Tyler, older brother (although oddly enough in real life he's a year YOUNGER than Caroline Dhavernas) of the lead character, Jaye Tyler. Aaron is pursuing a Ph.D. in Religious Studies--despite being an agnostic, perhaps even an atheist. The writers started to touch on that paradox, plus draw the parallel of Aaron, who is searching for meaning via his studies vs. his sister Jaye (Dhavernas), who actually hears voices--even if they do come come via wax lions and cow creamers.

The show's run was cut short before they could really explore that storyline, but I think the considerable charms of Lee Pace would have been better put to use as Jaye's love interest rather than her older brother. Tyron Leitso, who did play the love interest Eric Gotts, is very cute--in a sweet and bland sort of way. But he was no match for Caroline Dhavernas' charismatic and curmudgeonly Jaye Tyler. Pace would have easily been able to go head to head with Dhavernas. He was woefully underused for the beginning of the series, but eventually grew to have a larger role.

Admittedly, I'm predisposed to wanting to see Lee Pace as the romantic lead in ANYTHING, but could it be that the producers eventually realized the error of their ways when they came up with the budding romance between Aaron and Jaye's best friend Mahandra? The sparks between Jaye and Eric were sweet, but the real heat was generated by Pace and Tracie Thoms (who coincidentally attended Julliard together and were both replacements for actors who were originally cast in their respective Wonderfalls roles.)

I also really loved Diana Scarwid as Jaye's mother, the above-it-all Karen. Her performance is so tempered and understated, it's impossible to see her as a "Momster." Carol Brady she is most definitely NOT, but neither is she "Mommie Dearest" (although she is famous for having acted in that movie...). She was just a complete hoot here.

Apparently creator Bryan Fuller learned from his Wonderfalls mistake (not enough Lee Pace!) when he went on to create Pushing Daisies because this time he was smart enough to cast Lee Pace as the ROMANTIC LEAD. (He also brought along the fabulous Diana Scarwid to appear in three episodes this season--yay!) And so Wonderfalls also goes on to join a legion of critically acclaimed but canceled before their time shows like My So-Called Life, Cupid and most recently, Aaron Sorkin's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Attack of the Killer Squirrel(s) - part deux

(I spent most of last evening and the greater part of today trying to install Google's new Chrome browser on my laptop. Problem is, Chrome requires Service Pack 2 installed on Windows XP. Service Pack 2 mires my computer into such a state of slowness that it's like watching hair grow. No amount of tweaking would fix that. So, alas--no Chrome for moi!)

A follow-up to my squirrel story from my sister Laurie. It seems these critters reputation for being skittish and well, "squirrelly," may be one big disguise design to throw us simple humanoids off track:

"We have had an ongoing feud with squirrels here (that would be in Williamsburg, VA), but I think we’ve final won the battle. When we first moved in, we put up a bird feeder off the second story deck at the back of the house. One day I was sitting downstairs working on the computer when I noticed showers of bird food coming from above and two squirrels on the ground stuffing as much of the food as they could in their fat little cheeks.

I told Dennis (Laurie's hubby and my brother-in-law) that if I didn’t know better I would think the squirrels were working in collusion. He laughed at me. But when we ran upstairs – I swear to God -- we found two squirrels, one at each end of the porch, keeping watch and one squirrel in the feeder scraping food out as fast as possible! When they saw us, the “look-out” squirrels started screaming in squirrel speak and everyone scattered! It was amazing.

We finally got one of those bubbles for the feeder… the squirrels still can’t resist the temptation and about once a month and we watch a squirrel take a two story tumble. I always have to look to make sure nobody got hurt, but when I look down from the deck, there’s always a little squirrel shaking his little fist at me and -- again I swear -- cursing me!"

Hmm, I don't think my little squirrel friend was cursing me, but he was most definitely a cheeky bastard.

Having a Great Time, Wish You Were Here!

What I did on my summer vacation: nothing. That's not exactly true, but I didn't GO anywhere.

But my sister traveled all over the place--mostly for work--so I get to vicariously experience her wanderings through the magic of e-mail.

And so do you!

Guest blogging about her stay in Ottawa, I present to you my sister Laurie (aka "T"):

Although I’m happy to be done with Ottawa and I have no need to go back anytime soon, I have to share some pictures of an impossibly beautiful city…

The beautiful canal runs through the middle of the city with recreational trails on both sides running eight miles in each direction. There are a couple of restaurants along the canal as well as parks, benches, and ponds. Apparently they drain the canal to about seven feet deep in the winter and then let it ice over and rent skates at public stations!

At the center of downtown, the canal gives way to the Quebec River where a series of locks are still in use to allow recreational boats access to the river.

Ottawa is in the province of Ontario, but just across the river is Gattineau which is in Quebec province and nearly all French speaking.


From across the river in Gattineau you really appreciate the beauty of a seriously stunning city...





You can see the Parliament building in the distance. Both sides of the river have miles of paths and parks. It’s really quite incredible!




And of course we can’t forget our favorite restaurant!

Love you,

T.




I can't say I envy my sister's traveling schedule--especially since I tend to be somewhat (Somewhat?!!! Oh, no--much more than "somewhat!") of a homebody. Heck, I don't like driving across to the east side to see my friend Dave (Correction: I like seeing my friend Dave. It's the driving across town I don't like...). What I do envy is her digital camera! Wow--really nice shots, T!

Now that I've had a guest post from Laurie (albeit unknowingly!) and one (knowingly) from James, all I need is for David to provide one (That's my brother Dave, not my friend Dave--although my brother Dave is also my friend, but my friend Dave is not my brother--but if he wants to write a guest post, that's okay with me!)

Attack of the Killer Squirrel

I'm eating breakfast and surfing the net, and I hear a sound scraping across the screen in my window (which is open, 'cuz it's still fairly warm here...). I look to my right and jump, startled.

There's a squirrel hanging upside down underneath the eave of the roof, attempting to crawl down the screen of my window. Said screen is very old and semi-precarious. After scaring me, the squirrel thinks better of his plan and withdraws.

I am cursing myself--thinking this is the perfect moment that one should own a good digital camera. Squirrel makes another attempt, I frantically go to retrieve my cell phone with the crappy built-in digital camera.

Squirrel once again withdraws. I sigh. Opportunity lost.

Then I come up with a plan: I smear a bit of peanut butter (hey, it'd work for me!) on the window screen hoping the nut smell (squirrels like nuts, right?) would draw him back. Then I wait, cell phone poised to strike.

No squirrel.

I think better of my plan and go to wet down a paper towel and try to remove the peanut butter. As I start to wipe it away, the screen starts to dislodge--nearly falling out (along with my fan!) onto the ground two stories below.

I grab the screen and attempt to reattach it. And while I'm doing this, who should reappear but THE SQUIRREL!!! As I'm trying to keep the screen in place, he's LICKING the peanut butter off of it (see, I TOLD you it would work!)!!!

He was a pretty cheeky fellow. Didn't seem to mind me at all as I held onto the screen with one hand and used the other to reach down and retrieve my cell phone and snap a picture.

I was worried that if I let the screen drop, he come right through the window demanding more peanut butter (I know I would!). So I shooed him off while I struggled with the screen. I even closed the window to make sure he didn't perform a sneak attack.

I finally got my screen reinstalled--although heaven knows if it in all its creakiness will withstand more squirrel acrobatics. This whole incident reminds me of my favorite squirrel joke (I say "MY" but in actuality I stole it from some comedian whose name I can't recall...):

A man is walking down a street and he sees an acorn in the middle of the road. He walks over and bends down to pick it up.

Suddenly, a car is bearing down on him very quickly. He freezes. Frantically, he's thinking, "Should I go to the right? Should I go to the left?" and as he's trying to figure out what to do, he notices the car is being driven by a SQUIRREL!

And as the car swerves by him, the squirrel yells out the window: "It's not so easy, is it?!!!"

More Blog Love

Wow! First I get a "GW" from my blogging buddy Elisabeth and now Stevie has graced me with a bit of "Blog Love" as well!

This latest award comes with the stipulation to pay it forward and so I now nominate my own favorites! The winners of my "blog love" get to display this cute badge on their blog and pass it on to at least seven of their favorite blogs.

**For a limited time only, all rights reserved, your results may vary, batteries not included, no stuffed bunnies were harmed in the creation of this post!**

1. Elisabeth Writes - Elisabeth is a chronicler of obscure holidays, writer of French limericks and lover of politics, presidential libraries, words and language.

2. Ramblings of a TV Whore - Rae is my go-to girl for the behind-the-scenes scoop of my favorite TV shows. She has a great Friday Fun feature which never ceases to shame me into realizing that for all the hours I spend watching TV, I have, in fact, accomplished nothing since I'm barely able to guess even one of her trivia questions.

3. Hollie Does Hollywood - Hollie writes reviews on TV shows, movies as well as her life as an up-and-coming actress/writer in the City of Angels.

4. Linz McC's Completely Pointless Blog - Linz's random and ecletic postings always amuse me. Thanks to her, I read the amazing Cormac McCarthy book, The Road--and we are both obsessed with Dexter!

5. Gratuitous Violins - Esther's blog mainly focuses on theater, but on occasion she forays into film, television and politics. I love her intelligent and insightful writing!

Then of course there's Stevie and her awesome L.A. Story blog and fellow blogging goddess Tami and her delectable blog about all things "Yum!," fête à fête. But they've both been tagged, so I'll just list them as one of my favorites.

Pushing Daisies comes to life on DVD 9/16

One of the TV on DVD shows I've been enjoying is a great new addition to ABC's line-up last Fall, Pushing Daisies. Its unique and innovative visual style owes a lot to producer/director Barry Sonnenfeld--who even wrote an instruction manual for future directors of the show. Rule number one of that manual was "Trust Michael Weaver," the show's cinematographer.

Also contributing to bringing to life the unusual universe of the world of Ned, the Piemaker (Lee Pace) is the whimsical production design of Michael Wylie, inventive costume design of Robert Blackman and creative visual effects of Elizabeth Castro and William Powloski. Throw in some homage to writer/creator Bryan Fuller's hero, Alfred Hitchcock, and it all adds up to one of the most original series on television.

It's a pretty cool trick to be able to mix a fantasy fairy tale romance with a murder mystery crime procedural, but Pushing Daisies manages to do just that. Oh, wait a minute--make that fantasy fairy tale romance murder mystery crime procedural and PIES!

Mmm, yummy!

Succulent, delectable, luscious, scrumptious and tasty (I think I've almost exhausted the thesaurus!)--but there is one thing that makes me drool even more than peach cobbler and that is the dreamy Lee Pace. Aaaahh! All the adjectives above and then some could apply to the adorable Mr. Pace. Anna Friel who plays Chuck (aka Charlotte Charles or as Emerson calls her, "Dead Girl") is effortlessly charming as well.

How ironic that the most romantic show on television features two characters that cannot touch! I watched a couple of episodes last night with my friends Dave and Kat. At the end, Kat had the blissfully satisfied expression of someone that has--well, eaten a really yummy piece of pie! Dave said that, given the fact that a single touch from Ned would end Chuck's life again--for good, he thought that it would be smarter if they stayed on opposite sides of the country.

Um, okay--but then there would be no show!

The sweet chemistry between Ned (Pace) and Chuck (Anna Friel) might be too much of a sugar rush if it weren't offset by the talents of the supporting cast: the tangy Olive Snook (Kristen Chenoweth), the sour Emerson Cod (Chi McBride) and tart Aunt Lily (Swoosie Kurtz). And let's not forget gentle Aunt Vivian (Ellen Greene) and loyal Digby the dog. There have been some great guest appearances as well: Paul Reubens, Molly Shannon, Mike White and Jayma Mays. The entire cast, like the show, is just magical.

Also balancing out the overwhelming adorableness of the two leads are the murder victims--whether wearing tire tracks, shards of glass, hoof prints, frozen solid or charred beyond recognition, the gruesome demises are played for humor. But this show also has a lot of heart. And it's the snappy banter, sizzling chemistry and emotional depth that keeps me completely mesmerized for each and every episode. It's so fanciful and enchanting--I absolutely adore it!


Because of the writers strike, the Pushing Daisies complete first season on DVD is only nine episodes long, starting with the "Pie-lette" which explains Ned's gift for bringing the dead back to life--and the consequences should they stay reanimated for more than a minute.

(Odd factoid: The English subtitles for the dialogue are a bit "off." Whether it's due to the actors doing a bit of improv or the need to trim down speeches, the subtitles do not exactly match what is being said by the actors. And do not even get me started on some of the spelling: in one instance I saw the name of young Ned's school spelled as "Longburrow" and in another "water main" was written as "water mane.")

The 3 DVD set, packaged like pies from The Pie Hole--complete with "menu," also contains anecdotal extras from Bryan Fuller, Lee Pace and some of the people who create the magic behind the scenes, in the form of "pie slices"--bite-sized nuggets for each episode.

Speaking of pie, if you can't wait until next Tuesday to get all the savory goodness of the season one DVD, then check out the Pushing Daisies Tour as the Pie Hole hits the road! Yes, "Let them eat pie!" is the battle cry of the Pie-Mobile which is stopping in major cities across the USA:

9/10, 9 am to 3 pm - 3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, CA
9/12, 11 am - 3 pm - Fashion Show Mall, Las Vegas, NV
9/14, 9 am - 1 pm - Westgate Complex, Phoenix, AR
9/17, 10 am - 2 pm - Larimer Square, Denver, CO
9/20, 11 am - 8 pm - Addison Oktoberfest, Dallas, TX
9/24, 10 am - 2 pm - Lincoln Park Grove 5, Chicago, IL
9/26, 10 am - 2 pm - The Shops at Liberty Square, Philadelphia, PA
9/29, 7 - 9 am - Times Square, GMA - Broadway Studios, New York, NY

TV on DVD

The black hole that is the summer TV programming schedule was less painful this year. Mainly because I discovered the joys of watching TV on DVD.

My friend Dave, who has HBO (that is NOT the only reason that I'm friends with him, although--given that he was over last night and proceeded to turn my crystal clear 27" TV picture into SNOW which, after much despair and bickering, was restored to crystal clarity once again when I, in a fit of desperation, randomly pushed two buttons on my remote control. And yes, I DO remember which two buttons should it ever happen again!--as a professional AV tech, his much vaunted audio-visual technical skills leave much to be desired. Fortunately, he is kind and loyal and generous. And he makes me laugh. And, as I mentioned before, he has HBO...) records entire seasons of Entourage for me, which we watch in marathon sessions.

But this has been the summer of Dexter and more Dexter, Desperate Housewives and Pushing Daisies (check out the review of season one tomorrow!).

Oh, I'll still be doing the appointment TV thing once the Fall season gets under way. After all, what's the use of watching a water cooler TV program if you don't watch it in time to talk about it 'round the water cooler (or, in my case, the metaphorical water cooler that is the blogosphere...)?

Anyway, TV on DVD--how do I love thee? Let me count the ways whys:

1. Don't subscribe to cable? No problem! I can get Showtime, HBO and even obscure little British series from Netflix. Who needs hundreds of channels when you have access to hundreds of THOUSANDS of DVD titles?

2. Marathons! The agony of the cliffhanger is no more. Is your favorite character in mortal jeopardy? Can't wait a whole week to find out what happens to him? Just pop in the next DVD!

Yay!

3. Pause, rewind, fast forward. No more waiting until a commercial to grab a snack, use the bathroom or check my e-mail. Just press pause and the action stops for ME! Was that a clue lurking in the shadows? Rewind and check it out again and again...And we don't need no stinking recaps or openers--fast forward and get to the good stuff!

4. Subtitles - I have mixed feelings about subtitles. On the one hand, if I turn them on, I find I'm READING the show more than WATCHING the show. On the other hand, it's a great way to catch those quick quips that might fly by. There is no more, "What did he say?" and wasting time rewinding and listening closely. It's right there, on the screen!

5. Revisiting the past - Whether you're catching up on seasons missed (like I did recently with season one of The Office) or nostalgic for favorite shows of yesteryear, DVDs offer the opportunity to fill in those fuzzy gaps or indulge in some fuzzy feelings. Linz recently revisited LOST--all four seasons! And Esther recently posted about the final three seasons of The Mary Tyler Moore Show coming to DVD.

6. Extras, extras! If watching 20-some odd hours of a beloved TV show isn't enough for you, most TV DVDs are loaded with behind-the-scenes extras giving insights into the inner workings of how the show was cast, developed, shot. The best thing about TV DVD extras is that they usually feature the writer/creator of the show.

Double yay!

I'm currently finishing up Pushing Daisies and Wonderfalls, and Mad Men is on the list.

What other TV on DVD is a must-see?

Final Barker Block Sunset Series this Thursday!

Okay folks--this is Filter Magazine's final Barker Block Sunset Series event so if you haven't had a chance to go yet, get your @$$ in gear and check it out!

The last gasp of summer (which, astronomically speaking, doesn't officially end until the 21st--Labor Day and school starts notwithstanding...) will feature the usual: music (advance listening party for West Indian Girl remixes, live performance by Two Sheds, and spinning by DJ Pants Off), artwork (exhibit curated by West Indian Girl and featuring a slew of local artists) and beverages (Colt 45, Honest Tea and Tito's Vodka).

In addition, you can peruse new t-shirt designs by Blood is the New Black and Vintage Tees and/or participate in the IRFC High stakes speed chess tournament for cash prizes.

Whoohoo!

Here are the details:

Date: Thursday, Sept. 11th
Time: 6 - 10 pm
Place: 512 S. Molino Street, Los Angeles 90013
RSVP: barkerblock@filtermmm.com

Admission is FREE (my favorite four-letter word!), but you must RSVP to gain entrance.

I Hate Music

Nah--not really. But I've recently come to the realization that I don't LOVE it either...

Quite a shocker. Especially given that for a long time it was my dream to be a singer. But I must confess I'm no longer up on the hot bands. A recent issue of Rolling Stone featured the Jonas Brothers on the cover and I'm thinking "What the @#$%?!!!" Most of the bands featured inside I have never even heard--or heard of. And it's not like I have any inclination to check out that four-star rated album by that Emo chick from Finland. I mean, if I was a music lover, I'd be all over it--wouldn't I? Maybe I should have titled this post, "I Hate NEW Music."

The problem is, I'm too old for new music. Okay, that's a lame excuse. My friend Stevie who's got a few years on me, totally knows who the upcoming musicians and hot bands are. She knows about that Emo chick from Finland even before Rolling Stone does. Me, I know TV and movies. Maybe my brain just can't fit any more "stuff" in it!

It hit me some time ago. I remember driving to work past kids waiting at the bus stop wearing baggy jeans with the crotch hanging to their knees and thinking, "Their mothers let them go out in public like THAT?!!!" At about the same time that the radio D.J. came on announcing he was about to play a new song from Lush...or maybe it was Luscious Jackson--or maybe it was Michael Jackson...I don't remember but I do remember thinking, as I switched to another station, "I don't want to hear a NEW song! I want to hear a song I already know!"

Since I converted from Walkman to iPod, I rarely hear new songs anymore. Plus I hardly ever drive these days, so no chance to hear anything on the car radio, either. My only exposure to new music is from Jessa during yoga class (she is responsible for at least THREE new songs on my iPod), but even that's iffy since Jessa (who is all of twenty-six!) has this strange predilection for Journey and Neil Diamond.

I guess I'm not the only one who likes old older songs!

I can't remember the last time I sat down and just listened to an album. I used to--poring over the lyrics, singing along, playing the drum parts inside my head...These days I really only listen to music when I'm working out, walking or driving. When I'm in motion, as it were. Music has ceased to be "relaxing" for me since there's now a Pavlovian "kinetic" association with it now. (Speaking of "relaxing," I never did like classical music--it always makes me tense. Punk rock, on the other hand, can soothe me to sleep...)

Okay, I don't really HATE music. I can't imagine how I'd be able to get through a yoga class or gym workout (or even walk to the gym!) without it to keep me motivated. I don't even hate NEW music.

Music is definitely evocative (try watching a movie without a musical score). Sometimes you hear an old song and it brings up memories of the time and place when you first listened to it. Or it's a new song which just clicks--like having instant chemistry or meeting a soulmate. It's the first time you've heard it, but it seems like you've known it forever...

The most recent song (which is almost a year old!) I've heard that I want to score for my iPod is Psycho by Puddle of Mudd

Psycho

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho… yeah…

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho…

She lays down on the fresh lawn
She can make everything magical
But she tied one on big time
And it makes me want to rewind

To back in the days when we were young
When everything was like a loaded gun
Ready to go off in any minute
And you know we're gonna win again

Yeah you know we're gonna win again
Yeah you know we're gonna win again

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho… yeah

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the paranoid flake-oh… yeah

She lays down on the sidewalk
Never very analytical
She is something simply beautiful
Reappear with youth and magical

Back in the days when we were young
When everything was like a loaded gun
Ready to go off in any minute
Yeah you know we're gonna win again

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho… yeah

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the paranoid flake-oh… yeah

I'm the one
I'm the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho

I'm the one
I'm the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho

You're the one
You're the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho

Back in the days when we were young
When everything was like a loaded gun
Ready to go off in any minute
And you know we're gonna win again

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho… yeah

Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
the paranoid flake-oh…

You're the one
You're the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho

(Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
who is the schizophrenic psycho)

You're the one
You're the one
who is…
the schizophrenic psycho

(Maybe I'm the one
Maybe I'm the one
who is…
who is the schizophrenic psycho)

You're the one,
You're the one,
who is the schizophrenic psycho

A Year in Van Nuys by Sandra Tsing Loh

According to my blogging buddy Elisabeth, celebrator of holidays big and small (especially small!), today is Read a Book Day. How fitting that I should post about my latest read today. (Okay, it's not exactly serendipitous timing! I actually finished the book a couple of days ago, but waited until today so as to coincide with Read a Book Day. Sue me!)

Sandra Tsing Loh is writer/performer/humorist/commentator who specializes in observational and self-deprecating humor. Half Chinese, half German, she reminded me a bit of Margaret Cho or perhaps more accurately, Margaret Cho Lite--but I say that with all due respect. Not just because of the Asian descent, but both are self-deprecating (with a tinge of self-loathing) concerned with body image and family dynamics.

Loh, however, is a bit more accessible--and a bit less scatological.I love Margaret Cho, but she's definitely not a mainstream act. Perhaps you have really cool parents that you could take to Cho concert or film and they'd be laughing uproariously right along side you. The thought of either of MY parents watching Margaret Cho with me makes me squeamish.

But enough about Margaret Cho, this is about Sandra Tsing Loh--who I could definitely see watching or listening to with my parents. This isn't to say Loh is some kind of bland, banal comic presence--but instead a sharply witty everywoman. Her book A Year in Van Nuys (the title a satirical reference to Peter Mayle's A Year in Provence--Van Nuys being so NOT Provence!) is a semi-autobiographical recounting of her existential mid-life crisis that starts off with a massive case of writer's block which leads to a session with poetic Malibu therapist, Ruth:

"I see you...." She narrows her eyes, continues to speak as through a dream. "I see you as a toad in a cave, looking out a hole, watching the world outside. But in fact you are looking into a pond, and the hole is a reflection, of something inside...what you think is the cave. Do you follow me?"
...I stare at her slack-jawed.
"Cave paintings," she insists, "Make peace with the cave paintings! Which they aren't really,of course, because it's not truly a cave." She shrugs, waves a turquoise-and-silver hand, dismissive. "It's just wallpaper."

From there, we ride the merry-go-round that is Loh's life--sibling rivalry with her thinner, richer sister Kaitlin, a disastrous short stint writing for a online magazine, the trauma of eye bags, in-law conversational logic and the dreaded family holiday--culminating with her "Scared Straight" guest of honor appearance at friend Jolene's "Right to Write" support group:

I ponder the female marketing executive's situation. The unexplained twenty-year break from writing, the hatred of solitude, the chronic revulsion felt when rereading her own pieces.
"There is another possibility." I hear myself saying.
"Yes?" She and the rest of the group lean in. There is a rustle of Ralph Lauren Leisurewear. Eight pairs of eyes look up at me.
I, the Great Blocked Novelist, give my pronouncement.
"Maybe you're just...not...a writer."
A gasp goes up--particularly from Jolene. She invited me to provide inspiration...

What follows is a scathingly funny rant on writers and writing that ends up unblocking our plucky neurotic heroine.

One would think that after spending Ten Days in the Hills that I would be loathe to spend A Year in Van Nuys, but although Sandra Tsing Loh's prose may not be Pulitzer-worthy in this book, it's an enjoyable read. Loh comes across as that smart, funny friend who can regale everyone with a hysterical story of grocery shopping at WholeFoods and have the whole party in peals of laughter.

Complete with pie charts, comparative tables, bullet-points and swingy hair...

I look forward to hanging out with her reading another one of her books in the future!

Netflix Quick Picks - Round Ten

Ten movies: two (very!) quirky romantic comedies, two dramas about Hollywood and the film industry, one documentary, one docudrama, one epic drama, one arthouse and one hot mess that defies description.

On with the reviews!

1. Dune - Okay, technically it's supposed to be sci-fi/fantasy (extra helping of the "fantasy"), but David Lynch's adaptation of the Frank Herbert novel can't be pigeon-holed into one neat little genre category. Unless, of course, that category is "Films so bad that you can only continue watching in fascinated horror."

Actually, I really couldn't watch this at all. Netflix, for some ungodly reason, chose to send me the televised version. That being the hacked up and 176 minute long (as opposed to the trimmer 137 minute long theatrical version) with voiceover narration not by the dulcet tones of a James Earl Jones or Orson Welles-type, but someone sounding more like Danny DeVito or Joe Pesci. The version disavowed by writer/director David Lynch who removed his name from the credits in favor of the classic train wreck identification that is the "Film by Alan Smithee."

This isn't to say the Lynch stamp of approval version would have been any less cheesy, overblown, badly acted, clunky and unremittingly awful. I love Lynch's work, but I venture to say his forte is the altered reality, not alternate realities.

Mom always used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" and to that end I will say this: Sean Young looked lovely and Kyle MacLachlan even lovelier.

SKIP IT!

2. Lars and the Real Girl - Having heard the basic premise for the story about an awkward, emotionally stunted young man who orders a blow-up sex doll (which he names "Bianca") and pretends she's his girlfriend, I wasn't completely looking forward to this film.

I was so wrong.

This is probably one of my favorite films EVER! Although it relentlessly pushes the envelope of believability, there is something so absolutely warm-hearted, authentic and genuine about this movie. Although Ryan Gosling is outstanding as usual as the oddly eccentric Lars, the story about love and relationships really is one that involves the whole town that rallies around him.

Big kudos to the supporting cast: Emily Mortimer is sublime perfection as Lars' sister-in-law, Karin. She has some great scenes--tackling the reticent Lars in order to get him to join her and his brother for dinner as well as a very emotional scene where she confronts his assertion that no-one cares about him:

That is just not true! God! Every person in this town bends over backward to make Bianca feel at home. Why do you think she has so many places to go and so much to do? Huh? Huh? Because of you! Because - all these people - love you! We push her wheelchair. We drive her to work. We drive her home. We wash her. We dress her. We get her up, and put her to bed. We carry her. And she is not petite, Lars. Bianca is a big, big girl! None of this is easy - for any of us - but we do it... Oh! We do it for you! So don't you dare tell me how we don't care.

Peter Schneider does an excellent job as Lars' bewildered brother Gus, Nancy Beatty is fabulous as the no-nonsense Mrs. Gruner, but Patricia Clarkson's subtle grace as the insightful Dr. Dagmar is the stuff Oscar nominations are made of.

Written by Nancy Oliver and directed by Craig Gillespie, Lars and the Real Girl is an extraordinary tale about what it means to live, love and be human.

RENT IT!

3. Swimming with Sharks - I thought I had seen this, but wasn't sure, so I rented again--I think. Some parts seemed familiar, but a lot I didn't remember. Once upon a time, this was incisive, witty, edgy. In the times of The Apprentice and The Devil Wears Prada, Kevin Spacey's passive-aggressive antics seem quaint and mild. Heck, I've had bosses that were bigger asshats than Buddy Ackerman. It all seemed so--blah. Skip it.

4. Fast Food Nation - This was actually a loaner from my friend Dave. Based on the best-selling book about the meat industry, Fast Food Nation is an attempt to dramatize the dull documentary with characters and stories and well-known actors (Greg Kinnear, Paul Dano, Bruce Willis, Wilmer Valderrama, Patricia Arquette, Avril Lavigne and Ethan Hawke unintentionally playing the creepiest uncle ever to walk the planet...).

It fails.

Although I would seriously reconsider eating ground beef and now understand why kosher is so much more preferable, this movie was a complete snooze. I bet Michael Moore or even Morgan Spurlock could have made it entertaining as well as informative. Richard Linklater only manages the latter. Skip it AND the Big Mac...

5. Wristcutters: A Love Story - This offbeat rom-com about suicide victims stuck in a sort of Purgatory was unexpectedly enchanting. Starring Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous) and Shannyn Sossamon (looking like a cross between Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley), the film does a great job of conveying the limbo-esque atmospherics of its setting. The third act is bit awkward and rushed, but all in all writer/director Goran Dukic manages to live up to the tagline: "Life is a trip, but the afterlife is one hell of a ride." Rent it!

6. Velvet Goldmine - Todd Haynes pseudo-biopic of a David Bowie-like glam rock star is a trippy, visual feast. There's the achingly gorgeous Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Bowie persona Brian Slade, Toni Collette as his wife Mandy, Ewan MacGregor (looking more like Kurt Cobain than Iggy Pop) as Curt Wild and Christian Bale as the young fan turned rock journalist Arthur Stuart.

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person... Give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth. "

The biggest flaw about this film--which ostensibly is about glam rock and a David Bowie type star but is actually about how glam rock's blurring of the lines opened doors and possibilities for millions of youth anxious about themselves and their sexuality--is the overlong musical numbers. Bowie, regrettably, refused Haynes the rights to use his music in the film and it suffers for it. But it's still a remarkably original piece of work. Rent it!

7. Winged Migration - Absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous film about birds flying. Amazing to watch. The only issue I had was in watching the DVD extras to unboggle my mind as to how they filmed it. The film loses some of its magic when you learn that for the most part the birds were trained (imprinted) and the shots somewhat staged. Still, it's thoroughly engrossing and watchable. Rent it, but skip the extras.

8. Gangs of New York - Scorcese's epic on the birth of New York City is a bit too long and redundant--but still fascinating to watch. Great acting by Leonardo DiCaprio and Daniel Day-Lewis. Cameron Diaz is out of her league, but much better than she was in From Hell. Gorgeous set design and cinematography. The conundrum that was Bill the Butcher (Day-Lewis), who killed Amsterdam Vallon's (DiCaprio) father Priest (Liam Neeson)--vicious, violent and yet oddly honorable, was a theme that was missing in Scorcese's later offering, The Departed. I felt The Departed lacked the tug-of-war of allegiance that Gangs of New York depicted so well. If it was up to me, I would have given Scorcese the Oscar for this film over The Departed. Rent it!

9. Box of Moon Light - This movie, like Lars and the Real Girl, was suggested by Diane. Unfortunately, it comes nowhere near Lars for charm, magic and emotional resonance. Despite the prodigious talents of John Turturro and Sam Rockwell (who seems to be building a consistent reputation for full-frontal exposure in his movies...), Box of Moon Light is just--lacking. Written and directed by Tom DiCillo, its only saving grace is the wonderful cinematography of Paul Ryan--who I've actually met! Other than that, skip it!

10. Living in Oblivion - Funny I should follow one Tom DiCillo film with yet another. And, this is yet another film that I thought I had already seen, but couldn't remember, so I rented it again. It's a clever look at the agonies of indie filmmaking and must-see viewing (along with American Movie) for any wannabe director. Rent it!

Casting Clones

I pass by a digital billboard that advertises, among other things, the upcoming premiere of the new J. J. Abrams show Fringe on FOX. And each time I see it, I think the same thing:

Damn, that woman looks familiar!

The woman in question is Anna Torv who will be playing the role of Olivia Dunham, an FBI investigator tracking down a mystery virus on the sci-fi thriller which is set to premiere next Tuesday, September 9th.

But she very well could be a stand-in for a well-known TV doctor: Dr. Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) of Seattle Grace Memorial.

I wonder if Torv's character of Agent Dunham will be a vapid and vacillating whining bore like Meredith..


Torv could also fill the shoes of another TV doctor, Dr. Juliet Burke (Elizabeth Mitchell) of LOST.

Joshua Jackson vs. Josh Holloway?

No contest!

Yeah, I wouldn't mind being stuck on a desert island if Sawyer was around to read to me..

And then you have Desmond's long lost love, Penny played by the gorgeous Sonya Walger... who is a dead ringer for Juliet/Elizabeth Mitchell.

Look: same cheekbones, arched eyebrows, highlighted dirty blonde hair color, straight noses...

Thank god Penny has an English accent or I'd be even more confused than I usually am while watching LOST!


If that weren't enough with the LOST doppelgangers, let's throw in Thekla Reuten, who played Sayid's love interest (and possibly, the employee of Penny's dad, Charles Widmore) briefly during The Economist episode.

Can you understand why I was initially thinking "What's Sayid doing stalking Penny?" when I first saw her?

Note to TV Casting Directors: Throw in a brunette or redhead every now and then, okay?

Sheesh!

America's Next Top Model - Cycle 11

My friend Hollie was astonished when I admitted to watching this. In my defense, I primarily watch for the photo shoots (Yeah, like all those guy who "read" Playboy just for the articles...). I'm not sure that I'll be investing much time in this cycle--I've decided to focus on the delicious Lee Pace and Pushing Daisies on Wednesdays instead.

But a few thoughts on this go-round so far:

• My faves, in order: Sheena, Isis, Elina and McKey (aka Brittany--one of THREE this cycle!). I love Sheena's open-minded and gracious attitude, Isis' (the first transgender contestant--how funny that Nigel was clueless until Tyra told him during judging!) strength and grace, Elina's intelligent and integrity and McKey's fighting (she's into martial arts big time!) spirit.

• Two of my least favorites didn't make it to the final fourteen (Kacey and Susan), but Clark not only made it, but has now gone on to the next round. She had one of the weakest photos, but the judges will keep her around because she's this cycle's resident bitch. Sharaun, who also annoyed me, was voted off the show last night.

• I also find Marjorie's incessant insecurities annoying. Hopefully having the number one photo of the week will allay her nerves.

• The constant shrieking is also irritating. It's like watching an episode of "Oprah's Favorite Things."
  

No plus-sized girls this cycle--the only contender was Lindsey, who looked too much like last year's winner, Whitney. In the last four cycles, we've had a classic blonde (CariDee), brunette/Latina (Jasleen), perky Black girl (Saleisha) and plus-sized blonde (Whitney). Therefore to continue the diversity, I'd predict that Sheena (Japanese/Korean) or Isis (transgender) have the best shot at winning.

That they are gorgeous, naturally talented and two of my favorites only makes it more appropriate.

Let the catfights begin!

Thoughts on the NEW 90210

1. The excess of this update makes the original look like Little House on the Prairie by comparison.

2. The writing for the pilot was abysmal. Just about every bit of dialogue was dripping with exposition. Hopefully, with the need for backstory out of the way, the writing will improve.

Not only was there was too much exposition, but all logic was thrown out the window. Annie is at Naomi's party where she sees Ethan and then leaves the party to go the beach and sees Ethan coming out of the water after surfing. How in the world did he have time to leave the same party, change into a wetsuit and have been surfing before Annie even gets there? Perhaps he has a double. Or a clone. There's no logical or logistical explanation.

And who knew that lacrosse players were so bad-ass?

3. Much ballyhoo about Jennie Garth (who looks pretty good), Shannen Doherty (who looks kinda worse for wear) and Joe E. Tata (who hasn't changed a bit) returning to the infamous zip. But, hey--what about Rob Estes and Lori Loughlin? The former was a resident of 90210 spin-off Melrose Place and the latter late of Summerland--which also featured Kansas transplants to California. Yes, Kansas...the go-to state for the midwestern innocents soon to be corrupted by Californian values--or lack thereof.

4. Speaking of innocents being corrupted, that was the original premise of the original show. The two midwest kids dealing with the excesses of a Beverly Hills lifestyle. Annie (Shenae Grimes) and Dixon (Tristan Wilds) don't seem nearly as fresh and innocent as the first season Brenda and Brandon. So what's the hook of this show? Oh yeah, it's Gossip Girl set in Los Angeles!

Debbie and Harry Wilson talk a good game about going back to Kansas to protect their kids from being corrupted, but Annie and Dixon seem like overprivileged brats to begin with. And speaking of Kansas--how is it that Debbie Wilson (Lori Loughlin), who is the Carol Walsh character, has a job as a fashion photographer? 'Cuz there are soooo many fashion magazines in Kansas!

5. According to an interview featuring Loughlin:

But like the original show, the new family won’t be living the opulent lifestyle of some of their Beverly Hills neighbors. Explained Loughlin: “Yes, modest living. We go to live with my mother-in-law who is ailing and played by Jessica Walters, and she was supposedly a big movie star in the 1970s. But we move in with her. So, we live in Beverly Hills but we’re not like in a big mansion.”

Um, hello? Did y'all see that house? It looked like a big mansion to me!!! That's what Loughlin calls "modest living"? Sheesh--I should live so "modestly."

6. The Beverly High newspaper has received an update to the digital age with videocasts and blogisodes. The latter seems like yet another rip-off of Gossip Girl. The former highlighted a gentle jab to the original with Andrea Zuckerman's daughter, Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquiez (Halle Hirsh), doing a newcast and a teacher making a remark, "What is she--like 35?" Although this was a back-handed reference to Gabrielle Carteris, it could definitely apply to any member of the new cast as well.

The actress playing "My Super Sweet Sixteen girl Naomi" (AnnaLynne McCord) looked at least a decade older than the teenager she was supposed to be portraying. It doesn't help that wardrobe has her wearing Chanel. Does Disney has the exclusive concession to child actors? C'mon people, Gabrielle Carteris looked positively juvenile in comparison to this cast!

7. Much more focus on the "adult" characters (I say that sarcastically since the entire cast looks old enough to drink legally...) in this version. Perhaps because fans of the original show are old enough to parents, it makes sense that they'd want to watch characters closer to their old--rather than the antics of oversexed, spoiled "kids." Any guesses at to the father of Kelly's (Jennie Garth) kid?

8. I'm glad it sucked--I have better things to do with my Tuesday nights. (I think--what's on on Tuesdays? Oh yeah, the Dancing with the Stars results show...)

R.I.P. Don LaFontaine

Movie trailers just got a little less exciting with the passing of the ubiquitous voiceover king. Only 68 years-old!

Sigh.

He will be missed.

Reprise - On DVD 9/2

I wasn't sure quite what to expect when I received this DVD to review. It's being distributed by Miramax--okay, that's a good sign. It's won a number of festival awards: Official Selection, Sundance Film Festival; Discovery Award, Toronto Film Festival; Official Selection, New Directors/New Films. Also a positive sign.

I tend to shy away from foreign films. I mean, if I want to read, I'll sit down with a book not a movie, right? But here's the thing: I loved Pan's Labyrinth and Amores perros and City of God and Volver, so subtitles really shouldn't be an issue. I've found that when I'm really enrapt in a great film, I don't even realize that I'm reading the words anymore. So I got over my reading reluctance and inserted the disc in my DVD player.

What I experienced was a smart and quirky coming-of-age story set in Oslo, Norway. With a story that plays with "what if?" futures and tangential flashbacks, Reprise tells the story of a group of twenty-somethings navigating life and relationships and trying to make their way in the world. Specifically the film concentrates on two friends: Phillip (Anders Danielsen Lie) and Erik (Espen Klouman-Høiner) who set off on critical journeys as they both submit their manuscripts for publication.

Phillip's novel is accepted and published, but he eventually suffers a mental breakdown and spends the rest of the film trying to recapture the happiness and possibilities he experienced prior to his psychotic break. Erik's manuscript, on the other hand, is rejected. But he reworks his novel and it is accepted--and then he faces all the good and bad which comes with being a "wunderkind."

The DVD contained a conversation with director Joachim Trier who co-wrote the script with close friend Eskil Vogt. Via the telling of anecdotes about their relationship, writing process and inspirations for the story, it was evident that a good portion of their friendship found its way into the characters of Erik and Phillip. (My guess is that Trier is represented by the lighter, sunny Erik and Vogt by the darker, troubled Phillip.)

I was amazed to learn that Trier (a distant cousin of Lars von Trier) is a novice director given the assured and stylish result of his efforts. Working closely with cinematographer Jakob Ihre and editor Olivier Bugge Coutté, Trier was inspired by classic portrait painters like Vermeer and French New Wave cinema and directors such as Alejandro González Iñárritu. This collaboration and inspiration is evident in the beautifully framed shots, verité conversational feel and the fluidity of time and place to tell the story.

(I can't help but wonder if Hitchcock's Vertigo was also an inspiration as the scenes where Phillip desperately tries to recapture the past by having Kari, played by the winsome Viktoria Winge, relive their "honeymoon" trip to Paris recalled James Stewart's attempts to remake Kim Novak into, um, Kim Novak...)

Also new and fresh is the cast of actors--all of whom are exquisitely gorgeous, but in a real and youthful way, not the slick, prefab Gossip Girl kind of way. Adding to the young and hip feel of the film is a soundtrack filled with punk, post-punk and new wave music, with Trier showing a special fondness for Joy Division and New Order. There's also quite a bit of original music courtesy of Ola Fløttum and Knut Schreiner. You really can't go wrong, music-wise, when you feature a fictional band called Kommune singing a song called "Finger-f@$%ed by the Prime Minister." (We have Schreiner, Trier and Vogt to thank for that little ditty!)

In addition to the conversation with Trier and Vogt I mentioned earlier, the DVD extras include a behind-the-scenes look at cinematography, set design, editing, sound design, etc. as the film goes from pre-production through production and then post-production. If you have any interest in how all the pieces of a film come together, this was one of the most enlightening "making of" featurettes I have ever seen. There's also a feature on how the film was cast, an extra giving insight into how the film's crucial love scene was shot, as well as deleted/extended scenes.

If you have no fear when it comes to foreign films and subtitles, I highly recommend Reprise. The film about finding your way and your voice is style AND substance from a director that I'm sure we'll be seeing much more of.

Desperate Housewives - Season Four releases on DVD 9/2

It's a Sunday night as I type this. Usually I'd be settling in to watch my favorite TV divas: Susan Mayer, Bree Hodge, Gabrielle Solis, Lynette Scavo, Katherine Mayfair and even Edie Britt. Unfortunately, my guilty pleasure is still on summer hiatus not to return until September 28th.

But if you're itching for a fix like I am, you don't have to wait another month. Tomorrow, the complete fourth season of Desperate Housewives aka "Sizzling Secrets Edition" releases on DVD. A beautifully packaged set that includes five discs with a clever Wisteria Lane real estate guidebook featuring ads for Dr. Orson Hodge, DDS and Delfino's Plumbing along with the information on the episodes included on each disc.

(I'm wondering why the packaging features the newly cast-off Nicollette Sheridan who left--or more accurately, was run out of town--at the end of season four and excludes Dana Delaney, who according to the final episode flash forward is continuing with the show...Oh, and if I understand Marc Cherry's commentary correctly, the five years later epilogue to the season finale IS the direction he is taking the show. No details about the mystery hottie replacing Mike Delfino in Susan's home and heart, though...)

This is a loaded box set filled with all sorts of goodies: all 17 (abbreviated season due to the Writers Strike) episodes with commentaries; Getting Desperate: From Beginning to End, an in-depth look at the production of the tornado episode; Spare Time: Hanging with the men of Wisteria Lane; Cherry Picked: Creator Marc Cherry's Favorite Scenes, an alternate ending, deleted scenes and bloopers--and a bonus disc containing the pilot episodes of Pushing Daisies, Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money.

The Getting Desperate featurette was completely fascinating to me. If you want to see what goes into producing a TV show, you'll love this extra. Of course the tornado episode was the most dramatic, expensive and complicated of the season. Maybe the entire show--who knows if they'll ever do anything that action-packed again?!!! Said Cherry of the degree of difficulty involved in filming Something's Coming:

"Anytime you see action sequences, especially with wind and cars dropping, it becomes this technically very complicated thing. And it always makes me just marvel at the shows that do that kind of thing all the time. 'Cause mostly I just have women, you know, sitting around a kitchen table talking about adultery."

It was also fun to see an extra focusing on the males on the show. As Dana Delaney adroitly observes in the Spare Time feature, "The men are playing the chicks on this show." Ah, yes--and what eye candy they are!

I attempted to pause the scene and get the wording of the note that Aunt Lilly wrote to Dylan. Keep in mind that the note had been torn in pieces by Katherine, thrown in a fire and then retrieved by Dylan who attempted to reconstruct it. But the words read:

I tried...her tell you...your father...was murdered...never knew the...tried to...the truth...

Dylan pieced together the "your father" and "was murdered" but obviously the note wasn't originally written that way.

I especially liked the fact I was able to turn the subtitles on and get down the great speech Tom (Doug Savant) made to Bob and Lee in the season finale:

"If you're willing to break up over an ice sculpture, you guys should absolutely not get married. Because who gets to choose the ice sculpture, who should take out the trash, who has to stay home and make the mini pizzas, that's the little stuff.

What are you going to do when the big stuff comes along? What are you gonna do when a tornado hits your house? Or if you have problems with your kids? Or one of you gets cancer?

At some point, the crap is going to hit the fan. And that is why now, before you make the commitment, you have to ask yourself, is that person in bed next to you worth the trouble?"

Ah, what a great speech and what a great moment! Desperate Housewives is DEFINITELY worth the trouble in my book. If you're a fan of the show, check out the season four box set! By the time you get through all the episodes with commentaries and the wealth of special features, it will be time for season five!

Yay!

Help Wanted

Speaking of Labor Day, it's a bit ironic that on this day we celebrate the American workforce, I am...unemployed. Trying to find a job is a bummer. During the summer, it's a bitch. And trying to find a job in the summer during a recession is a gift from George W. Bush, thank you very much!

It doesn't help that I can't even understand most of the job titles and qualifications I see posted: Ruby on Rails, Sabanes-Oxley, SAP (who in the world would admit to THAT?!!), Lean Leader, Master Black Belt (I don't think they're talking about karate...), LAMP Expert, etc.

Sigh.

Then, wading past the Analysts and Finance Managers and Executive Slave Assistant jobs, I see a Best of Craigslist posting for my dream job. Too bad it's in London:

HENCHMAN NEEDED

20-30 henchmen needed for moderately-sized supervillain organisation with large expansion potential (fortresses built into geological structures, corruption of government officials, possible genesis of 'nemesis' vigilante). Electrical theme.

Applicants must be willing to learn new skills, including but not limited to operation of specialised 'lightning guns'. Applicants will also be required to wear specialised uniform when at work (functional rubber suits with my logo on front), except in cases where deception is required (posing as hostages in order to ambush vigilantes, etc).

Desired (but not necessarily required) in applicants:

-interesting deformations/obsessions/powers(?) giving rise to interesting nicknames (e.g. Claws, Pyro, Buzzsaw, and similar)
-unwavering loyalty
-being a corruptible government official
-ability to work as part of a close-knit team (unless interesting obsession is of the 'lone wolf' variety)
-grudge against any well-known vigilante
-flexible moral code

Equal opportunies employer. Both henchmen and femmes fatales absolutely welcome.

Great promotion opportunities - right-hand-man position constantly being unexpectedly opened. Would look good on any future supervillain resume/CV.

Send an email with details of any prior henchman work, or details of what is driving you to join the ranks of a supervillain organisation. Will reply to all serious applicants. Hope to hear from you, and with luck, welcome you into a rewarding and promising career!

- Jacque (The Zapper) Zerapi

I mean except for the mandatory functional rubber suit with logo on the front, is this a cool opportunity or what? The salary starts at twenty-thousand pounds which is only a little over $36k in USD, but the ad promises "added commissions based around success of supervillain operations." And states "Contracts negotiable depending on applicant's personal skills/powers."

Hmm, I wonder if there's a 401k and dental?

The Promotion - on DVD 9/2

It seems fitting that so close to Labor Day, The Promotion, an ode to everyman and the average American worker, releases on DVD on September 2nd.

This little indie flick with the big name cast (Seann William Scott, John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Lili Taylor, Fred Armisen, Gil Bellows and Bobby Cannavale) slipped through the cracks playing in limited release some time ago. Coincidentally (or not), the film depicts characters that are often overlooked as well. We see plenty of druglords and hookers, cops and lawyers, vampires and superheroes--but how often do you see a movie about two grocery store assistant managers vying for the same promotion?

The story details the complications when nice, earnest assistant store manager Doug Stauber (Seann William Scott) find his shoo-in position as the manager of the new Donaldson's grocery store jeopardized by the arrival of Canadian nice guy Richard Welhner (John C. Reilly) who is applying for the very same opening. So, we have a hero that is too nice and an "antagonist"that is too nice and a movie that is, well...too nice.

Written and directed by Steve Conrad, The Promotion plays in a very realistic, almost docu-drama style. Picture a reality TV show about a grocery where the "actors" weren't coached with snappy lines ala The Hills and the scenes weren't staged ala The Bachelor and the cast wasn't selected for maximum drama and volatility ala The Real World and the footage wasn't heavily edited to create drama, tension and a chronology that didn't exist in real life like--oh, just about every single "reality" TV show. The dialogue is extremely simplistic and sort of flat as it's delivered in a very dead-pan manner by the cast. The absurdities and ironies of life as a grocery store worker could have used a bit more "oomph" in order to really mine the comic potential.

Hey, I wasn't wanting or expecting some over-the-top Farrelly Brothers movie! But look how The Office makes the mundane and eccentric of regular life and pushes the envelope a bit to drolly illuminate the inanities of the work world. The script lacks the heavily ironic subtext of The Weather Man as well as the evocative emotional stakes of The Pursuit of Happyness--both of which were written by Conrad. So obviously he has it in him--it just wasn't as evident as it could have been in The Promotion.

There are, however, some insightful and funny moments. My favorite bits were a small cameo by Masi Oka (aka "Hiro" from Heroes) playing a very dry loan officer and yet another scene-stealing performance by the fabulous (and uncredited) Jason Bateman as a motivational retreat leader. The corporate retreat was a hugely hysterical scene--too bad there wasn't more like it in the movie. Too bad there wasn't more Bateman in the movie! Rather than ramping up the conflict between the two nice guys who in ordinary circumstances would probably be good friends, Conrad keeps the antagonism fairly low-key.

Instead, he tries to milk comedic juice out of Reilly's character, who becomes more and more absurd as layers are peeled away. Especially the one layer that reveals a KISS tattoo on his chest. Yeah it's a sight gag and it's good for a laugh, but really? Also inexplicable was Lili Taylor's Scottish accent. Included in the DVD extras, there's a phone call between Seann William Scott and Steve Conrad where Scott is trying to convince Conrad to let his character have an accent since John C. Reilly's character has one. It's really funny--but I couldn't help but wonder what was the reasoning behind Taylor's accent. I can almost hear her saying, "Can Lori be from Scotland? I've been working on a Scottish accent...I'd love to get a chance to use it!"

Also included in the DVD extras is commentary director Steve Conrad along with producers Jessika Borisczky Goyera and Steven A. Jones, the standard "Making Of" featurette, six deleted scenes, some really funny promotional webisodes and outtakes of the infamous "monster face" scene.

Overall, The Promotion is a warm-hearted, bittersweet look at everyday people who are, in the words of Richard Welhner, "all just out here tryin' to get some food. Sometimes we bump into each other..."