Wednesday, August 15, 2007

10 Things I Hate about my Gym

1. The passive-aggressive cleaning staff. Seriously, these people will jam a mop right underneath you while you work out. It's obnoxious, annoying, rude, inconsiderate, disruptive, disrespectful and completely unnecessary. Hello? I'm just a member trying to work out here. My dues pay your salary, but yes--your mopping is sooooo much more important. And by the way, the caution signs won't help you if someone slips and falls on a wet floor. All this mopping during business hours is a personal injury lawsuit waiting to happen...

2. The lack of yoga classes. There are 13 classes each week. Not even two per day on average. It should be at least three classes per day. There are 42 Boxing/Kickboxing classes or an average of SIX classes per day in comparison. The gym used to be owned by a martial arts person--hence the schedule was heavily weighted towards martial artists. It has since changed ownership but the scheduling inequities remain unresolved.

3. Machine downtime. There is always several cardio machines with "out of order" signs on them at any given time. Sometimes they are out of commission for weeks. And half the strength training machines are missing pins to adjust the weight.

4. Also, three of the big TVs are permanently shut off. Hey, we've got complimentary mouthwash in the locker rooms, but we can't get all the TVs working.

5. Fee increases. Monthly dues were raised WITHOUT notice and they instituted a yearly "enhancement fee" (or some such bull$@#%) of $25 without properly notifying members. Plus, ain't nothing been enhanced since they charged up my credit card!

6. Sweat monsters. On the positive side, the gym provides free towel service and disinfecting wipes to clean up equipment. Unfortunately, some gross and disgusting members refuse to use either--leaving a sweaty grotesque mess in their wake. They should be whipped with a wet towel. 'Nuff said.

7. Speaking of inconsiderate members, I love the ones who think that their workout is soooo much more important than anyone else's. They hover over you when you use a machine, they ask if they can "work in with you" when you're only doing two sets, they claim to be using two machine simultaneously. @$$holes.

8. Employee turnover. As much I hate things at BiM, obviously it's no better for the people who work there. It's amazing how much and how often the staff changes. Except for the passive-aggressive cleaning staff. They love BiM--it's the members they hate.

9. Gym Closings. When I first joined, I think the only day the gym was closed was Christmas. They closed early on holidays, but you could get a pre-Thanksgiving pig-out workout. Now they close on a lot of holidays--although other locations may still be open. If they're going to shut down to save money on holidays they should at least rotate locations. And closings should be based on what other retail operations do, not the BANK holiday schedule!

10. Uncaring Management. I have brought my complaints to the management on a number of occasions--they never do anything. Except raise dues and charge bull$@#% fees which aren't even contractually legitimate. Now they have all these signs posted soliciting membership referrals. As if! Fix the equipment, resolve schedule inequities and get the cleaning staff to back the #$@% off and then maybe I'll recommend Bodies in Motion to my friends.

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