Happy Easter!

I must admit I'm no fan of jellybeans. Or the sugary candy eggs. Give me chocolate! Big chocolate bunnies and not the hollow ones either...Solid milk chocolate. None of this "white chocolate" crap! I'm also a fan of easter eggs. Well, coloring them anyway...

Not so big on the marshmallow peeps either. They're sticky, gooey, sugar-coated and completely inedible. Maybe that's why the Washington Post has found a better use for the ubiquitous pastel treats. Their second annual Peeps Show features the marshmallow chicks and bunnies in crafty dioramas. Remember dioramas from 4th grade? Well, I'm sure you've never seen anything like this:

There were over 800 entries this year. Check out the 37 best at washingtonpost.com. I bet you never look at a yellow marshmallow chick in the same way ever again...

Obviously I spend far too much time at the movies...

This post is brought to you courtesy of my friend from the gym, Teri. While I was working out today, Teri and Carol walked by and said, "Hi." Carol said she needed needed help with something and she was sure I knew the answer. Seems she was trying to buy movie tickets online and MovieFone wouldn't let her purchase tickets to AMC Theatres.

Now MovieFone is one of my favorite websites to check out showtimes and reviews for movies I want to see. I suggested she check out Fandango (I think Carol may be the only human on the planet who hasn't seen the paperbag puppets ads playing before the movie trailers since she wasn't familiar with the name...), but then I remembered the obvious answer: Movietickets.com.

I told her she should go to the AMC Theatres website, sign up for their MovieWatchers card and then when she purchases tickets on Movietickets.com using her MovieWatchers I.D. number, the service charge is waived.

In addition, you earn two points for every movie ticket purchased (four points total per visit) and every 10 points earns you a MovieWatcher freebie--at 30, 60 and 90 points, you can get a large drink and large popcorn at the concession stand or cash in on a free movie ticket at the Box Office on your next visit. At every 100-point milestone, you get a bonus "Night at the Movies" (free ticket, popcorn & soft drink).

I use my AMC MovieWatchers card a lot since I take advantage of their A.M. Cinema promotion where tickets for shows before noon on Friday, Saturday or Sunday are $6.00 (or less).

Anyway, when I told Carol all this Teri said I needed to blog about it. I think I should start carrying a Fandango paperbag puppet around with me since apparently I'm a walking advertisement.

LOST - Meet Kevin Johnson

It appears that Aaron is one of the Oceanic Six--this according to the promo that flashed the faces at the end of last night's episode.

And the "someone will DIE!" promo from last week: looks like Karl and Rousseau are history--felled by gunshots as they, along with Alex, were on their way to seek refuge at the Temple.

And finally, Michael is definitely Ben's man on the freighter. Didn't you love the episode recap by Sawyer (You mean Michael who shot and killed two people and betrayed us so he could leave the island with his son?). Or perhaps that's yet another Sawyer nickname...

Michael may very well the person in the coffin we saw in Through the Looking Glass as he definitely exhibited suicidal tendencies throughout the episode. I was struck by how similar his post-island despair was to Jack's in the Through the Looking Glass. Michael was suffering from extreme guilt over shooting Libby (who continues to haunt him) and Ana Lucia (who obviously doesn't have a contract with the show). That guilt, in addition to his estrangement from Walt to whom he confessed what he had done, causes him a great deal of pain. Like Jack who attempted to jump off a bridge, Michael drives his car into a wall--but miraculously survives.

He pawns the watch Jin gave him to get a gun. When he attempts to shoot himself, he is interrupted by none other than Mr. Friendly, aka Tom from the Others. Tom says, "Manhattan, huh? We let you leave one island and you just come to another..."So we've learned that Ben and Richard Alpert aren't the only Others who can leave the island and that Tom is gay. I'm not sure what the point of introducing Arturo the boytoy was other than to let us know that Mr. Friendly is uh, friendly. So are we supposed to feel bad that Sawyer shot him in the chest now?

Tom tells Michael, "You can't kill yourself. The island won't let you." And as he attempts for a third time to kill himself, he is not only stopped by a jamming gun but by the newscast of the found wreckage of Oceanic 815. When he shows up at the Hotel Earle to confront Tom about this news, Mr. Friendly tells him that the wreckage was faked by Charles Widmore and offers Micheal a chance to redeem himself. He can save his fellow crash survivors by killing the freighter people.

Michael aka Kevin Johnson joins the freighter crew as a deck hand. We get to see Minkowski and Naomi alive and well again, as well as the bloodthirsty Captain Gault who shoots skeet with a machine gun. When Michael/Kevin says he thought this was a rescue mission, he is told to go mop something. This gives Michael the balls to utilize what's in the box that Mr. Friendly sent to him. But before he can set the bomb off, Libby haunts him again telling him not to. He pushes the button, the timer counts down and--a note pops up. It says, "NOT YET." Those Others--such kidders!

Later, Minkowski tells Michael/Kevin he has a call from the mainland from "Walt." Only it's not Walt, it's Ben who tells Michael that the bomb didn't go off because, "I will not kill innocent people." Yeah, right Ben. You're the "good guy." He tells Michael to make a list (Another "list"? Orders from Jacob perhaps?), disable the radio room and take out the engine. When Sayid confronts him in the engine room asking him why he is on the freighter, Michael says, "I came here to die" and then relays the whole story to Desmond and Sayid. Sayid incredulously asks, "You're telling me you're working for Benjamin Linus?" Ah, Sayid--little do you know that YOU will be working for Ben as well soon enough! But Sayid drags Michael to the Captain and outs him as a spy and a traitor.

So that's where we are until April 24. Four weeks to wait to find out who shot Rousseau and Karl (I'm guessing it was a hit ordered by Ben), what happens to Kevin/Michael, who really faked the crash wreckage (Ben says Widmore, Widmore says Ben), how the Oceanic Six made it off the island and what happens to those who aren't part of the "Six." Until then check out the recap at Lostpedia, screencaps at Dark UFO and Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney's Dueling Analyses and the LOST Hour chat via the Washington Post's Celebritology.

Dr. Hauschka Holistic Home Remedies

One of the interesting new things I saw at the Natural Products ExpoWest were a line of holistic home remedies from Dr. Hauschka. Dr. Hauschka Skin Care has been a venerable and trusted staple in the natural products industry utilizing holistic principles for over 40 years. This Spring, they launch nationwide eight over-the-counter medicines formulated using homeopathic traditions.

Homeopathy is the philosophy that like cures like--or the law of similars. Using diluted formulation of substances that would in a healthy person create the same set of symptoms, the homeopathic preparation allows the body to heal itself. The philosophy is not all that different from that of vaccines--which uses dead or weaken forms of a micro-organism in order to encourage the body to develop the necessary immune system response to fight off the actual disease.

The eight holistic remedies Dr. Hauschka that are launching nationwide this Spring are:

Ouch! Aid Arnica Compress- a topical treatment which provides first aid for sprains, strains and bruises.

Arnica Bump and Bruise Relief - Homeopathic pellets to speed recovery for sprains, strains and bruises.

Calendula Wound Cleanser - Remember Mom spraying Bactine on your scraped knees? Here's a more natural alternative to disinfect, soothe and help heal minor cuts and scrapes with the gentle astringent action of calendula.

Mercurialis Wound Rescue - A topical cream which utilizes mercurialis and calendula to reduce inflammation and infection. In addition to treating poorly healing cuts or splinters, this would be an excellent prophylactic to use after a manicure or pedicure! I would massage this into the nailbeds to prevent infection.

Agropyron Cold Relief - Homeopathetic pellets relieve the pressure and pain from head colds utilizing a formula of couch-grass, dandelion and cinnabar.

Apis Belladonna Sore Throat Rescue - Belladonna has been used for centuries in medicine as is the basis for this formulation of homeopathic pellets to relieve the pain of earache, sore throat and nasal inflammation.

Nicotiana Cramp Relief - Potentized tobacco, chamomile and white birch charcoal are infused into homeopathic pellets to ease the symptoms of menstrual and abdominal cramps.

Borage Varicose Vein Relief - Five therapeutic botanicals combine in homeopathic pellets to provide temporary relief from varicose veins and hemorrhoids.

The full line of Holistic Home Remedies is slated for Spring 2009.

Some People Have WAY Too Much Time On Their Hands...

I got an e-mail today from "John Landis" saying that "John Landis did not have anything to do with An American Werewolf in Paris. Read the credits before you write a review."

I meant to type An American Werewolf in London when I was doing my latest round of Netflix Quick Picks not PARIS. John Landis is credited (according to IMDB) as having written and directed An American Werewolf in London. He is also credited (again, according to IMDB) as a writer (for characters) on An American Werewolf in Paris. So it's not COMPLETELY accurate to say he had nothing to do with it.

I replied to "John Landis" (I hope the actual producer/writer/director has better things to do with his time than Google himself and write irked missives to random bloggers who don't appropriately appreciate his movies...) and noted that I had meant to type "London" (it's fixed now, John!) and that IMDB credits do seem to indicate that Landis was associated with "Paris."

So he writes back to tell me I'm lame.

Yeah, I'M lame. Sheesh.

DWTS - Ladies Night

It was the female stars turn to take a spin around the dance floor on Dancing with the Stars last night and true to my prediction, skater Kristi Yamaguchi is the one to beat. Not only did her Foxtrot look (as Carrie Ann said) "effortless," but she appeared to be enjoying herself on the dance floor as well. I was off the mark about Priscilla Presley who turned in a competent Foxtrot as well--but she didn't look like she was enjoying herself at all! That permanently Botoxed grimace on her face won't help her with audience votes I'm sure.

The judges unfairly penalized crowd-pleaser Marissa Winokur--so adorable and spunky! She ended up with a 16 because partner Tony's choreography wasn't challenging enough. Boo--hiss! I really want her to stick around because I think she can give Kristi a run for her money, so I voted for her. Uh, 24 times...(Yes that's a bit obsessive for so early in the season, I know!)

As much as Marissa was under-rated, Shannon Elizabeth was over-rated in my opinion. Her Cha-cha looked tentative and awkward to me--although her long limbs are perfect for a dancer. Still, she'll improve and stick around for a Jennie Garth style run I predict. Marlee Matlin looked fabulous--what a cutie she is! But as great as her technique was, it never looked like she was dancing with the music. Marissa's low scores notwithstanding, it looks like Monica Seles may find herself being the first female to get knocked out of the competition. The pro tennis player looked very uneasy on the dance floor, although the judges were much easier on her than they were for Marissa.

They all get the chance to dance again next week, but I think the writing's on the wall: Adam Corolla and Monica Seles should be out of the competition by this time next week.

Netflix Quick Picks - Round 7

I've been really busy since Round 6 so let's get right to the movies I think you should add to your queue:

1. Wonder Boys - I haven't read the Michael Chabon novel, but I have to say the Curtis Hanson adaptation is aces. Wonderful performances by Michael Douglas, Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire. And a special shout out to Tobey's hair which was mesmerizingly perfect. Rent it!

2. Disturbia - This teen version of Rear Window jump-started Shia LaBoeuf's career. Shia makes his next big appearance in the new Indiana Jones movie but his sidekick played by Aaron Yoo hit the jackpot as well with a supporting role in the soon to be released 21. The flick plods along in the beginning--not good for a thriller. But it certainly picks up speed at the end. Genuinely anxiety-inducing if you're up for that. Worth a look. Rent it.

3. Dirty Pretty Things - Other than the somewhat miscast Audrey Tautou as a virginal Turkish Muslim girl (uh, yeah right...), this is a compelling piece of work about people trying to get by and living under the radar. Directed by Stephen Frears (The Queen) and also featuring the consistently amazing Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sophie Okonedo and another charmingly chilling turn by Sergi Lopez (he played the evil stepfather in Pan's Labyrinth), there's a lot of talent here and it all shows on screen. Rent it.

4. Immortal Beloved - Again you've got a film filled with talent: Gary Oldman, Isabella Rossellini, Valeria Golino and the music of Ludwig von Beethoven. This period piece fails as a narrative but where it excels, in addition to making the classical music enchant and enthrall, is the depiction of Beethoven's deafness and the miracle that was his genius in the face of his disability. If you like period pieces and classical music, rent it.

5. Dangerous Beauty - Oh god, this is the Harlequin romance version of a period piece. Catherine McCormack, while undeniably lovely, looks more suited for a stint on Melrose Place than as a 16th century Venetian courtesan. Cheesy soft-core masquerading as feminist art. Skip it.

6. Transamerica - Despite the edgy subject matter of gender reassignment, this is at its core a road trip bonding buddy movie. Felicity Huffman, an attractive actress, get kudos for her convincing portrayal of a man in the process of becoming a woman who finds an unlikely obstacle in the form of a son he/she never knew she/he had. The masculine appearance and lower register voice work is astoundingly good and Huffman's efforts elevate a fairly pedestrian story to new heights. Still, there are better films out there...Soldier Girl comes to mind. Skip it.

7. An American Werewolf in London - I don't know what I was expecting with this. Possibly more humor, more satire. A biting (excuse the pun) story about celebrity or the ugly American tourist? Unfortunately, except for the groundbreaking special effects--at the time anyway, although they pretty much hold up today--there's not much to recommend about this banal and bland werewolf movie. I was expecting more from John Landis. Skip it.

8. Blue Velvet - You either love David Lynch or you hate him. I'm in the former category. Some of his recurring cast members make an appearance here: Laura Dern playing the ingenue, Kyle MacLachlan also playing an ingenue and a courageous tour-de-force performance from Isabella Rosselini. Set in a small town that appears to be caught in a time warp of the 1950s (but then, don't all Lynch's movies have that 1950s retro look to them?), it's weird and violent and visceral and strange and mystifying and the strains of the kitschy Bobby Vinton hit weaves it all together. If you love Lynch, rent it.

9. The Shining - This classic Kubrick horror flick based on the Stephen King novel is way too long and spends much too much time on the scenery. Jack Nicholson perfects his over-the-top shtick, but the creepiest character is actually the little boy who talks to his finger. He's a creepy cutie, but not surprisingly doesn't have much in the way of credits other than this film. I guess it's hard to find cute little kid roles after you've been typecast as the creepy kid who talks to his finger. Still, it's worth it just for Scatman Crothers. Rent it.

10. My Life Without Me - Sarah Polley indie flick about a young woman who finds out she has only a few months to live. So she keeps the news from her family and makes a list of things she wants to accomplish before she dies: recording birthday messages to her two young daughters, finding a replacement wife for her husband, visiting her estranged father in prison and having an affair with Mark Ruffalo to boot. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't very good either. This is more Lifetime melodrama than insightful indie filmmaking. Skip it.

11. Me Without You - An interesting look at a co-dependent friendship over the years featuring Michelle Williams and Anna Friel. There are some contrived moments, but the dynamic between the two leads is fascinating. Rent it.

12. The Long, Hot Summer - Was a long, slow movie. Although based on a Faulkner story, it felt like a rehash of Tennesse Williams characters: there's Orson Welles playing Big Daddy from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Joanne Woodward doing Laura from The Glass Menagerie--maybe a bit of Blanche DuBois as well, Anthony Franciosa and Lee Remick give a "Stanley and Stella" Streetcar impression and Richard Anderson seems a riff off Sebastian in Suddenly Last Summer (although he doesn't get eaten by cannibals...which is too bad 'cuz it might have livened the whole thing up a bit...) It feels stiff and stagy and surprisingly lacking in sparks from the two leads. Paul Newman is the essence of cool and completely engrossing as usual. But he's been in better movies...Skip it.

13. Superbad - Frequently funny, but sometimes pushing the envelope just a little too far. My favorite scene was the cops, with McLovin in tow, turning on the siren so they could get through traffic. I KNEW it!!! Great for some bellylaughs--and a couple of sweet moments as well. Rent it!

14. Stalag 17 - Like The Great Escape, you can see the genesis of the classic TV show, Hogan's Heroes. There's a jovial Sergeant Schultz, an ambitious Colonel Klink-type running the camp, tunnels and radios and escape plans. But this POW camp also has a spy. I had to watch this twice in order to appreciate it. It's a bit slow, stagy (it's based on a play) and claustrophobic (what'd ya expect--it's set in a POW camp!), but all in all it's an intriguing story. William Holden won an Oscar for his role. Rent it.

15. Brokedown Palace - It's Midnight Express set in Thailand instead of Turkey and with chicks (Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale) instead of guys. And it's boring instead of compelling. Except for one dramatic scene where Claire Danes begs for her friend's freedom, it's a snooze. Not even Bill Pullman as a shark lawyer can save it. Skip it.

16. Training Day - Oh the awesomeness that is Denzel in this move! He most definitely deserved that Oscar. And Ethan Hawke stands his ground as well. Really intriguing morality play. Rent it!

17. Year of the Dog - Mike White writes very quirky and weird stuff (The Good Girl, Chuck and Buck, School of Rock). This is no exception. Molly Shannon plays Peggy, an introverted woman whose main relationship is with her dog, Pencil. When Pencil dies unexpectedly, Peggy's world is shattered and weirdness ensues. I think the story would have been better served with a tighter script and a sense of direction. The best thing about the film was the dog who played Pencil--what a cutie! Laura Dern is also magnificent as the self-centered control freak sister-in-law. But all in all--skip it.

18. The Painted Veil - A period piece about a married couple (Edward Norton and Naomi Watts) who find themselves getting to know one another and falling in love while in the midst of a cholera epidemic in rural China. Oddly affecting performances by both leads. Rent it.

Sucked in once again by DWTS!

After last season's lackluster cast and the disappointing early dismissal of the competition's BEST dancer, Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan, I thought it was over for me and Dancing with the Stars. But after last night's premiere featuring dancing by the six male "stars," it looks like it might be an exciting season.

My pick to get eliminated first round next week? Adam Corolla who has the fortune to be paired with two-time champ and terminal cutie Julianne Hough, but he been cursed with two left feet. Penn Jillette was also a low scorer last night, but I think he has the fan base and the performance skills to stick around a while. The dancers to beat are R&B singer Mario, paired with Karina who did very well a few seasons back with another hot Mario; and football player Jason Taylor who is surprisingly graceful right out of the gate. Looks like partner Edyta, who is perennially paired with some of the worst male stars, has finally gotten herself a contender!

"International Film Star" Cristian de la Fuente could be a fierce competitor. He has the charisma and another two-time champ in Cheryl Burke as his dancing partner, but I think his lack of fan base will probably do him in sooner than later. Rounding out the cast is actor Steve Guttenberg who Carrie Ann called "adorable" on last night's show and was he ever! He got low scores, but I think his charm will have him staying in the competition.

The women dance tonight and looking at the field, I'm already betting on Priscilla Presley to be voted off early. Her face is just too scary looking! Whatever she's had done, it's so tight and stiff she couldn't even manage a smile last night--just some weird grimacing! And Monica Seles does not look good as a blonde. We'll see how well she dances, but I wouldn't be surprised to see her out of the competition early. I'm sure skater Kristi Yamaguchi will be a contender much like Apolo Ono was several seasons back. I also expect that actress Marissa Winokur will do well--especially given the fact that she played the dancing Tracy Turnblad in Hairspray on Broadway. She may be hindered by a small fan base, but I think she'll win over the viewers.

Actresses Shannon Elizabeth and Marlee Matlin round out the female cast. It will be interesting to watch how they stack up against the men tonight!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

I'm part Irish. But then again, I'm also part Scotch-English, so I guess they cancel each other out. But everybody's Irish on St. Patrick's Day, huh? I wore my green today--an olive colored hoodie with a sage colored tank top underneath. And my camo-colored Converse kicks. Other than eating shamrock shaped cookies or drinking green beer or watching a parade, there's not much to the celebration of St. Patty's Day. So instead of eating green colored food (I had a salad tonight, does that count?), I thought I'd make of list of Irish things to be thankful for:

First off, the brothers Affleck. Both Casey and Ben are of Irish descent as evidenced by their gorgeous peaches and cream skin. Doesn't it just suck when guys have nicer skin than you do?

And then there's George Clooney, who not only has the gorgeous Irish skin, but beautiful thick black eyelashes to boot! Gah! If I didn't love him so much, I'd probably hate him.

Add to the list of Irish hotties: Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Jim Caviezel, Jerry O'Connell (that pudgy little kid in Stand By Me sure grew up nice, didn't he?), Dylan McDermott, Gabriel Byrne, Patrick Dempsey, all the Baldwin brothers and Luke and Owen Wilson. And speaking of talented Irish families, there's John Cusack and his siblings. Who doesn't love Lloyd Dobler?

We have Ireland to thank for Stephen Rea and Neal Jordan who combined talents for one of my all-time favorite movies, The Crying Game. Irish American comic Denis Leary makes me laugh like no other and the music of U2 and lead singer Bono can bring tears to my eyes.

I'm not a beer drinker, but back in the day I'd have many a drink made with Baileys Irish Cream. Mudslide, anyone? Yummy.

Favorite Movies Quotes - The Final Two

OK, no-one got number 6 or 7, so:

6. Crash - When Peter (played by Larenz Tate) puts a St. Christopher statue on the dashboard of the SUV they just carjacked, Anthony (Ludacris) goes off on this rant. The whole St. Christopher statue thing turns out to be a major plot point down the road...

7. Gone Baby Gone - Part of the opening voiceover of Patrick Kenzie (Casey Affleck).

Natural Products ExpoWest 2008

This is how I spent my Sunday: wandering up and down aisle after aisle lined with zillions of exhibitors. The Natural Products Expo West claims to be the largest (and I believe it!) natural and organic trade show with over 2,800 exhibitors. I don't think I even saw one-tenth of what was there--and that's with almost three hours of trekking through the health and beauty section!

Even if I had managed to get there at 10:30 am as I planned, I don't think I would have had enough time to see everything that I wanted to see. It didn't help that I got a bit lost on the way to the Convention Center, or that the line to get into the satellite parking lot took FOREVER or that I had to hike about a mile from where I parked to get to the Convention Center (for this I had to pay $12 to park! Can you believe? For $12, I should have been able to park right outside the door!). And when I got to the Convention Center I had to hike another half mile to the registration entrance (Note to future convention planners: put the registration entrance nearer to the FRONT). Fortunately, my friend Stevie who had clued me in to the Expo had greased the skids with the press office, so getting a press pass went smoothly.

Then I met up with Stevie at the Dr. Hauschka booth. They were by far the nicest and most generous exhibitors. I have a slew of stuff from them--including their new holistic home remedy line--to test out. Check back later for that review! We also visited with the people at derma e. Matt was telling us how he's in charge of their blog to which I replied, "I know about your blog! You link to me on it!"

We stopped by and said "Hi!" to the Earth Science people and checked in with Mychelle, Giovanni, Weleda, Lavera, Pharmacopia--just to name a few! There was also plenty of food there--and not just soy, gluten-free, vegan stuff. They had organic chocolate! Dairy-free ice cream and frozen yogurt. Popcorn. Seriously, if the tons of samples aren't enough to weigh you down, you could eat yourself into a bigger jeans size before you are done testing all the goodies out!

Speaking of jeans, Stevie and I both wore skinny jeans which we both tucked into black boots and topped with a red sweater. And no, we didn't call each other to plan matching outfits! All in all it was an interesting experience. Next year I'll make sure to get there early, spend more time and bring a cart to wheel out all my loot. I saw people loaded down with 2, 3, even 4 bags of stuff! I only got one--but there's still plenty of stuff to keep me busy for a while!

Left Behind

This morning's Washington Post featured an article titled Left Behind about things that were once common that are now obsolete or on their way. I thought it was an interesting follow-up to my own post on Obsolescence which, by the way, I posted SIX months earlier (Sheesh, Washington Post...keeping up with the news much?).

Revisiting the Keywords

I decided to catch up with the unanswered search terms that lead to my blog on a monthly basis. So without further ado:

1. "LOST Ben causing 815 crash" - This is obviously from a LOST fan who HASN'T BEEN WATCHING CAREFULLY! Ben did not cause Oceanic Flight 815 to crash (though he seems capable of most anything...), DESMOND did. But it was an accident, so we still love Henry Ian Cusick.

2. Will Ty Treadway come back to One Life to Live?

Ah yes, the very hot soap star played the evil Dr. Colin MacIver and when that character got killed off, he came back as his identical twin brother, the good Troy MacIver. Unfortunately Troy went mad, then went bad and then was locked up in an insane asylum somewhere. This is a good sign. After all if they had killed off Troy, it would have been hard to bring Ty back as a MacIver TRIPLET. But be assured if OLtL does bring Ty back, he will be shirtless within 5 minutes...

3. Speaking of shirtless, I got a hit by someone looking for "average people naked." Good God--why?!!! But seriously, if you want to see average people naked, check out re-runs of NYPD Blue (and perhaps catch a gratuitous Dennis Franz butt shot), Harvey Keitel in The Piano (some bodies should keep their clothes on!) or rent some foreign films. German ones are particularly good in that regard. There was an Austrian film called Dog Days (aka "Hundstage") that is chock FULL of average naked people. So much so I told my friend Jack who had suggested seeing it that I hadn't realized it was a HORROR flick. Yeeesh!

4. Speaking of average, someone was wondering what Johnny Depp's average paycheck was. Well, it was $10 mil for the first Pirates movie and doubled for the second. Way to go, Johnny!

5. More averages:

Weight of an average cell phone? My Motorola RAZR weighs 3.45 oz. if that helps...Of course I don't have a lot of numbers in it. If you have a lot of phone numbers it might weigh more...(Just kidding, of course!)

Lantus daily amount average? It's very individual. In general, higher doses for larger and/or more insulin resistant people, smaller doses for smaller and/or more insulin sensitive people. There are all sorts of formulas based on weight or percentage of total daily dosage, but the ideal dosage is one that keeps your blood sugar fairly stable throughout the day. I inject 14 units in the morning.

Average tattoo time? That depends on the size and complexity of the design. Most of mine were small (1-2 inches) and simple (outline and 1-2 colors) so they took about 20 minutes. The Celtic tree on my shoulder was a bit bigger, more intricate design and a number of colors. It took almost an hour. Sleeves or full back tattoos may take several long sessions to complete.

5. Speaking of tattoo searches: I've gotten a hit from "new tattoo working out" - I was told to keep mine covered for the first couple of hours and to gently wash the area and keep it moisturized with Aquaphor or A&D ointment, but there's no issue with working out when you've just gotten a tattoo.

Also "where will tattoo hurt least?" That's easy--fatter, fleshy parts of the body. Places where there's little fat (neck, feet) or that are bony (base of spine, wrists, ankles) hurt much more. If you really want as little pain as possible, get one on your tummy or tushy.

My condolences to the person whose "tattoo scabbed bad"--a bit of scabbing is normal and general it is painless and peels off in a week or so. Bad scabbing could mean that the tattoo needles went in too deep. Might want to get that checked with a doctor...

And last "tattooed surfer whore." Uh, yeah. Whatever...

6. Questions about people:

Someone wondered about the "girl in the scope white mouthwash commercial" - That would be model Josie Maran who had the dubious distinctive of being the first "celebrity" voted off Dancing with the Stars this past fall.

Which actress is a Barbie Girl? You mean other than Josie Maran? I think you might mean Lene Nystrom Rasted who played the role in the video for the "Barbie Girl" song.

"Jane Seymour Elizabeth The Golden Age" - Not sure what this person was looking for. The character of Jane Seymour was not in Elizabeth or The Golden Age sequel. She died giving birth to the Tudor heir who preceded both Mary and Elizabeth on the throne. She is, however, a character in The Other Boleyn Girl.

"August Rush Joaquin Phoenix" - I think this person confused Joaquin with Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Understandable--they do look similar.

7. Movie questions:

A few questions related to No Country for Old Men: Based on a true story? No, it was the adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy novel of the same name. What time period was it set in? 1980, because that's when the Mexican crack trade exploded and it also allows Josh Brolin's character to be a fairly young Vietnam vet--which becomes a significant plot point later in the movie.

Someone was searching for "prison break movies" and my favorite would be The Shawshank Redemption. Another good one is Escape from Alcatraz (from which The Shawshank Redemption quite liberally "borrows"). You could try one of the zillion versions of The Count of Monte Cristo (I'm partial to the recent remake with Jim Caviezel). Papillion is another movie featuring an escape from prison--although you watch Steve McQueen age for decades before it happens. There's also Midnight Express--but again you have to wait through hours of excruciating events before the actual break.

"When does December Boys come out on DVD?" Appropriately, it was released in December. The 11th to be exact.

I think think the person searching for "I Lost Everything in the Fire" meant Things We Lost in the Fire...

And to the person seeking "what rhymes with Juno," try "uno" (Spanish for "one"), Nuno (as in "Bettencourt," former lead guitarist of Extreme), Bruno or "you know." I wondering if they're writing a love poem to Diablo Cody?


Then there's a bunch of weird keywords that I can't help with--although the people searching definitely need help:

"Pros and cons of breakdancing" - Unless you have a time machine to transport you back to the 70s, it's all cons, dude...

"Sexy toad venom topical" - Hmmm--sounds like this person is looking for the recipe for the perfume Fay Summers concocted for Claire Meade on Ugly Betty. You do know that it's just a TV show, right?

"She was shackled in a jumpsuit" - Well, if use that sexy topical toad venom on people, there's no telling WHAT will happen!

"Thelma Scooby Doo lesbian" - OK, Thelma was the pudgy, brainy one with short hair and glasses but let's not make assumptions on her sexuality based on that...

"Piano notes for wombat on a surfboard" - Not a single clue...

And my all-time favorite, "I was made a slave at my sister's slumber party!"

Lost - Ji Yeon

The Oceanic Five are (Drumroll, please!):

1. Jack
2. Kate
3. Hurley
4. Sayid
5. Sun

Sorry folks--doesn't look like Jin made it off the island. Kudos to the writers for crafting an episode with Sun having a flashforward and Jin having a flashback so we, the viewers, would be fooled into thinking that Jin also made it off the island. I know Sun and Hurley (good ol' Hugo, apparently using those "golden tickets" to see Sun and her newborn...) visited his "grave" at the end of the episde, but I think the stone was just a memorial (the date on the stone was September 22, 2004 which was the date of the crash). The clincher was when Jin told Sun that "...you will never lose me." I sort of guessed something was up when Jin wasn't recognized as one of the "Six" in the toy store.

Speaking of Jin, did you see how hurt he was when he found out Sun cheated on him? He just slinks off to lick his wounds--which takes the form of a little fishing trip with Bernard. Interesting discussion Bernard had with Jin--telling him that it's all about karma. You make bad choices and bad things happen to you. You make good choices and good things happen. Jin seemed to interpret that as Sun cheated on BAD Jin. But it sure highlighted one of the running themes of the show, didn't it? Good, evil, justice, redemption, the smoke monster...

Jin forgives Sun and even cooks the fish he caught for her for dinner! How sexy is a guy that cooks for you, huh? Not to mention one who takes the blame for you cheating on him. Nice work by Daniel Dae Kim in this episode.

Also, for those who assume the "she" that Juliet looked like from last week's episode was Ben's mother--wrong! According to the enhanced re-airing, it was ANNIE, Ben's childhood friend. I knew it couldn't be his mom. She died in childbirth and Ben never knew her.

Very anti-climatic to find out that Michael was Ben's man on the freighter. I was rooting for the seemingly unstoppable Mikhail. After all, we've been expecting it to be Michael. You'd think the writers would have tried to pull that rug out from under us...

It's also been confirmed that Charles Widmore is indeed the guy calling the shots as far as the freighter goes. But is he the bad guy as Ben says or a good guy? The captain shows Sayid and Desmond the black box from Oceanic Flight 815 and tells them it was found along with the wreckage and the bodies of 324 people. He says that since Sayid is standing in front of him alive and well, obviously the wreckage was staged. And he marvels at the person with the resources to pull that off--not to mention finding 324 dead bodies.

But the note that Michael aka Kevin Johnson slipped under the door warned Sayid and Desmond not to trust the captain. Was the crash really staged (I personally like the doppelganger theory better...)? Did Ben stage it or Widmore?

And what's the point of having Fisher Stevens as Minkowski and Zoe Bell as Regina just to kill them off ASAP? Will we be seeing them again? I would think so. Otherwise why not cast those characters with complete unknowns? It makes no sense...

According to various reports, we were supposed to find out all the members of the Oceanic Six by last night's episode. But I only count five. I don't think Aaron counts since he wasn't on the passenger manifest and Jin's date of death on his gravestone indicates that he didn't make it off the island. Who is the last member of the Oceanic Six? Perhaps Michael? But if he's one of the "Six," he can't also be the person who was in the coffin because there would have been a much bigger turnout at his funeral... And speaking of funerals, someone's gonna die in next week's episode--who do we think it will be?

For a recap of the episode, check out Lostpedia, screencaps can be found at Lost Easter Eggs and Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney's Dueling Analyses and Lost chat at Celebritology.

Still Waiting...

C'mon now, people! There are still six four TWO movie quotes no-one has guessed yet.

You have until Sunday. Get cracking!

Like Buttah? Nah, like Suggah!

Included in a DVD-filled care package sent to me by my friend Stevie was a jar of lip balm called suggah made by Sircuit Skin Cosmeceuticals. "Hmmm," I thought as I twisted open the jar...which then turned to "Mmmmmm!" as I caught a whiff of the luscious scent. Formulated with super-emollient ingredients like shea butter, jojoba oil and cocoa butter, suggah is a rich, luxurious cream. It also contains a trio of ingredients (Ethyhexyl Palmitate Cacao, Sorbitan Isosterate, Palmitoyl Oligopeptide) which are hard to spell and pronounce so Sircuit Skin just refers to them as "Maxi-Lip"--so named for their "plumping" ability.

According to Sircuit Skin:

Maxi Lip^TM hydrates the lips and restores glycosaminoglycans and collagen, increasing lip moisture and adding volume & size to improve the contour of the lips, giving better definition to the lipline. Maxi Lip^TM also significantly reduces the appearance of wrinkles to make dry, chapped lips a thing of the past.

Okay, I won't sit here and tell you I'm sporting Angelina-sized pillow lips right now (although I've only been using this for a week), but this is a great product for keeping your lips moisturized overnight, leaving them smooth and soothed in the morning. But the best thing about this product is the SMELL! It smells like macaroons or cake batter or something. It's like eating sugar cookies and milk!

Sircuit Skin products are a blend of natural ingredients with cutting edge cosmeceutical science. Their formulations NEVER contain chemical parabens or preservatives, fillers, artificial colors, artificial fragrances and are cruelty free.

People Suck, Dolphins Rule!

I'm more than a little sleep deprived thanks to my epic asshole of a neighbor banging and clattering about until after 2 am this morning. That's an improvement over Sunday night/Monday morning where the noise didn't cease until after 5 am. I don't know how he manages--I need 7-8 hours sleep!

Then while I'm doing cardio at the gym this morning in a zombie-like trance, I see this story on CNN: two beached whales were led to safety by a dolphin who helped them navigate a channel and swim beyond a sandbar. God, I love dolphins! They're so much nicer and cooler than people...

Comic Relief: The Greatest...and the Latest

Comic Relief celebrates over 20 years of raising money (over $55 million dollars to date!) to combat homelessness as well as national disaster relief (Hurricanes Andrew and Katrina) with a 2 DVD set which features some of comedy's greatest talents--past and present.

The first DVD starts off with a through-the-years retrospective featuring hosts Robin Williams, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg. Interesting to watch the former "young turks" as they aged over the span of two decades. Time marches on for all of us, eh? Clips from sets of well-known talent such as Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Dana Carvey, Bill Maher, Dennis Miller, Bob Saget, Garry Shandling, Roseanne Barr and Stephen Wright provide highlights from various Comic Relief shows over the years. Like any comic's set, the clips are hit-or-miss. But there's such an amazing range of styles and talent, you're likely to find something and someone to make you laugh.

The second DVD contains the 2006 Comic Relief show which helped raise funds for Hurricane Katrina victims and animal rescue operations. Sadly, a year after the terrible devastation caused by the storm, New Orleans remained a shambles. The lack of federal aid and accountability was often cited throughout the show--as was the outcome of the '06 elections, which sadly have not inspired the current administration to remember for whom they work. Oh well--that will change soon enough...The DVD also boasts special features devoted to telling the story of Katrina's victims as they still cope with the aftermath. A touching tribute by Billy Crystal wraps it all up as he invokes the passion, spirit and jazz of the struggling city.

It was bittersweet to see appearances by some stars who are sadly no longer with us--Gilda Radner, John Candy, Dudley Moore, Don Knotts, Tom Poston, Steve Allen, Milton Berle, Jim Varney and Richard Jeni all show up to support the cause. The best performances were by comic superstars Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle without a doubt. The worst--well, I won't name names but a certain MySpace "phenom" comes to mind...

With over 4 hours of material on Comic Relief: The Greatest...and the Latest (yup, I watched almost ALL of it!), you're guaranteed several chuckles, a guffaw or two and at least one bellylaugh. You'll see Richard Lewis doing his usual neurotic shtick, the sardonic and sarcastic Dennis Miller, Jon Lovitz's liar and a surprisingly hysterical Shelley Long (who knew?) riffing off straight man Woody Harrelson. Add to that guest appearances by the cast of Entourage and Star Trek: The Next Generation and you have an eclectic mash-up of comedic material to keep you entertain for hours.

New on DVD - No Country for Old Men and Gone Baby Gone

Two outstanding films from 2007 are now out on DVD. Gone Baby Gone was released on February 12th and No Country for Old Men drops tomorrow on March 11th. At first I wondered how I would tie a post about the two movies together, but as I returned to each of the films I saw a number of commonalities:

1. Both are the result of brother teams: No Country for Old Men was adapted and directed by the amazing Coen Brothers (several of their cast members referred to them as one person with two heads) and Gone Baby Gone featured a collaboration between Ben Affleck who directed younger brother Casey.

2. Both feature the locale as a character in the story. In Gone Baby Gone, the Boston neighborhood of Dorchester looms large on the screen while in No Country for Old Men the harsh and unforgiving landscape of west Texas enhances the movie's theme of survival.

3. Both are based on novels: No Country for Old Men on the book by Cormac McCarthy and Gone Baby Gone is the second of Dennis Lehane's novels (the first being Mystic River) to be adapted for the screen.

4. Both feature actresses with amazing accent abilities. Amy Ryan who played Helene McReady in Gone Baby Gone did such a convincing accent in her audition, Ben Affleck asked her which part of Boston she was from. And Kelly Macdonald effortlessly affected a west Texan drawl as Carla Jean Moss but between takes she slipped right back into her native Scottish lilt.

5. Both contain depictions of venerable old school lawmen: In No Country for Old Men it was Tommy Lee Jones' Sheriff Bell while in Gone Baby Gone, Morgan Freeman's Captain Jack Doyle filled the bill.

There are some other connections as well--like the fact that Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone) shared the screen with Garret Dillahunt (No Country for Old Men) in The Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford. Or both movies have drug related subplots and ambiguous endings. But enough of that!

No Country for Old Men deservedly won four Oscars including Best Picture. The DVD release includes a "Making Of" featurette which not only digs a bit deeper into the story and characters, but offers insights into makeup, special effects and even that infamous Anton Chigurh hairstyle. There's also a feature on working with the Coen Brothers--which, according to cast and crew, is a uniquely wonderful experience. Some crew member have worked with them on 7-10 films! The last featurette is titled "Diary of a Country Sheriff" and it offers additional insight into the Sheriff Ed Tom Bell character, as well as other characters in the movie.

The bonus features on the Gone Baby Gone DVD are less impressive. There's a selection of deleted scenes--pretty much all of which were rightfully not included and audio commentary. The "Going Home: Behind the Scenes with Ben Affleck" featurette seems more like a justification for the actor's foray into directing. Unnecessary since the film itself justifies Mr. Affleck as a competent and talented director. The "Capturing Authenticity: Casting Gone Baby Gone" bonus is really more of the same. The deftly executed story is reason enough to buy or rent the DVD, but it would have been nice to have included more illuminating bonus features.

So if you're looking for some great flicks to add to your DVD library or to your Netflix queue, here are a couple of titles to check out!

Favorite Movie Quotes

Inspired by my blogging buddy Elisabeth who in turn was inspired by HER blogging buddy Srah, here's a list of quotes from some of my favorite movies. Try to guess which ones:

1. This is REALITY, Greg.
Hurrah for my blogging buddy Rae who correctly identified this as being from one of my all-time faves ('cuz I'm that big of a sap...), E.T.! When Eliot and Co. are bringing E.T. to his spaceship (right before the famous bikes across the sky scene), this is Eliot's reply one of his friends asks why E.T. can't just beam up.

2. Old age flattens a man.
"No Country for Old Men" guessed by David.

3. Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.
"The Wedding Singer" guessed correctly by Srah.

4. Death by stereo!
Again Rae guessed correctly that this was from The Lost Boys--an awesome vampire flick. If you haven't seen it yet, Netflix it!

5. Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass me the asparagus.
"American Beauty" again guessed correctly by David.

6. You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?

7. I find the people who started in the cracks and then fell through.

8. Shut the fuck up, Donny.
"The Big Lebowski"--yeah, that was an easy one, David.

9. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist.
"The Usual Suspects" also guessed correctly by Srah.

10. You slut!
This is one of my all-time favorite movie moments (GENIUS!) from Tootsie. It's Bill Murray's deadpan remark to Dustin Hoffman after he arrives to find "Dorothy" being chased around their living room by that lascivious older soap actor. Congrats to my blogging buddy Elisabeth for guessing correctly!

11. Yeah. The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.
David correctly guessed "The Shawshank Redemption.

12. No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail" guessed correctly by Srah.

13. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.
Elisabeth once again comes through with the correct answer - Bill Murray marvelously deadpan again in Rushmore.

14. Hello this is agent Johnson. [sighs] No, the other one.
David's right again. It's from "Die Hard."

15. A good friend of mine used to say, "This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." Think about that for a while.
"Bull Durham" is the correct answer and it's David once again!

Only two lines left (#6 and #7) to guess! C'mon people, they're EASY!

Awesome

While waiting for The Bank Job to start, I had to sit through the usual plethora of ads and trailers. Trailers I usually enjoy--sometimes more than the actual movie (although the new Clive Barker flick Midnight Meat Train is now on my Movies I have no interest in seeing list. Good grief--Midnight Meat Train? Is that the best title they could come up with?), the ads usually suck.

Except for today when I got to experience the Michael Bay commercial for Verizon FIOS.

Hysterical.

I've hated Michael Bay ever since the travesty that was Armageddon. But my esteem of him has risen CONSIDERABLY after viewing this commercial where he good sportedly spoofs himself.

Awesome, indeed!

The Bank Job

100% of voters chose The Bank Job over Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. So for the one brave soul who actually voted in my poll, this review is for you! I'm actually glad I saw The Bank Job over Miss Pettigrew because as I stood in line to purchase my ticket this morning, it was obviously that Miss Pettigrew was the "hot" ticket. Judging by the crowd buying tickets, it looked to a geek and geezer "date movie." Not that there's anything wrong with that and I'll probably see it eventually, but my preference for movie watching is the fewer possibilities of sharing a theater with inconsiderate asshats, the better.

Wouldn't you know, however, out of the dozen or so patrons spread out across the big theater, one latecomer cow of a woman plops herself down in the seat right in front of me. So I moved to a seat two rows in front of HER. The other odd thing was the speaker sound mix. The background sound was much louder than the foreground sound. Annoying. But fortunately it didn't affect my enjoyment or understanding of the movie too much although The Storys version of Money (That's what I want) playing over the closing credits was really off with the backup vocals coming in TWICE as loud as the main ones. Dear Broadway Loews/AMC, please adjust your speakers...

Anyway, this is your standard caper/heist movie with a bit of a twist. The first twist is that it is based on a true story. The second is that the amateurs were actually set up to perform the robbery in order to obtain compromising photos of a salacious nature taken of Princess Margaret. But not only do the robbers stumble upon the scandalous photos of the royal princess, but other illicit evidence as well. So what was supposed to be a straight-forward venture goes all awry and leads to a series of double and triple-crossings. It turns out when you factor in the crooked cops and corrupt politicians, our band of bandits may not be the "bad" guys after all.

Set in 1971, the soundtrack is filled with great music from T-Rex, Wilson Pickett and The Kinks. Jason Statham acquits himself nicely as Terry Leather, the leader of the operation. Saffron Burrows plays his former flame and one-time model who sets the whole thing up due to an agenda she's not sharing. (She looks gorgeous in this movie--sort of like Michelle Pfeiffer and Angelina Jolie's love child. Okay, that's not possible and I'm sure I've now set off a paroxysm of lesbian fantasies, but whatever...) The flick also features cameos by John Lennon and Yoko Ono lookalikes and someone who looks an awful lot like Mick Jagger playing a bank employee.

The movie is Ocean's Eleven if the eleven were actually seven and blue-collar British blokes instead slick American con artists. Add a dash of Snatch (both literally and figuratively), Layer Cake and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and you've got The Bank Job. If those movies are your cup of tea, this one will be too.

An Eye Opening Experience

Hello, my name is Stella and I am an eye cream junkie. I just know that there's one out there that will erase fine lines, lighten dark circles, reduce bags and puffiness. For the prices of some eye creams on the market, I would expect them to take me to dinner and a movie and give me a foot massage! Fortunately, a nice moisturizer for the delicate skin underneath the eyes doesn't have to cost a small fortune as evidenced by the diverse collection offered by derma e.

I've written about derma e products previously. Their products are paraben-free, pH balanced, cruelty-free and vegetarian and packaged in 100% recyclable materials. Recently I've been testing out several of their eye creams. They have over half a dozen different formulas to moisturize and protect the eye area. All of them are under $30, most are under $20. Depending on what you are trying to accomplish--reduce signs of aging, firming skin, lighten circles--there's probably a derma e solution for you.

The first one I tried was their Ester-C Firming Eye Créme. This is a thick, rich, emollient cream designed to firm the under eye area. I love the creamy consistency (although it's probably better suited for night time use) and the yummy light citrus scent.

Next was the Eye Lighten Dark Circle Créme. This is a much lighter formula than the Ester-C making it better for daytime wear. Formulated with a blend of botanicals including Horse Chestnut, Witch Hazel and Eyebright extracts, the Eye Lighten is designed to promote healthy circulation, strengthen leaky capillaries, and reduce swelling and inflammation.

Finally, I am currently adoring the Brighter Eye Créme from their new Organic Expressions product line. As its name suggests, Organic Expressions products are small-batch crafted using certified organic ingredients. The foundation of the line is premium olive oil which is rich in anti-oxidants and has anti-inflammatory properties. The eye cream also contains pycnogenol, witch hazel and rose hips. I found that the consistency of the the Brighter Eye Créme is somewhere between the Ester-C Firming and the Eye Lighten creams--light enough to use for day and moisturizing enough to wear overnight. It also has a light, citrus scent and is very nourishing and soothing.

Unlike pricier skincare alternatives, derma e uses high quality ingredients while offering their products at an affordable price. Their secret? Very little advertising. Most of the money you spend on that expensive eye cream goes to pay for that glossy ad in Vogue and the slick and chic packaging. The ingredients themselves, which usually contain a lot of stuff that isn't even good for your skin, comprise only a small portion of the cost of the product. So if you actually want to get what you pay for, rather than just an air-brushed model in a magazine, you might want to check out the extensive line of high quality natural skin and bodycare products at derma e.