Ugly Betty/The Office - Sisters on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown and Prince Family Paper

Well, Ignacio survived his heart attack and the resulting quadruple bypass, but the ordeal put an even bigger strain on the Suarez sisters' relationship. Hilda accuses Betty of being a "Bossypants," Betty's not convinced that Hilda can take care of Ignacio, so she takes charge.

She takes Ignacio to Claire Meade's cardiologist Dr. Farber. When he hears that the Suarez family doctor, "Dr. Steve," diagnosed Ignacio's cough over the phone, he says "On the phone. Terrific. That's how I order Chinese food."

Daniel and Holly try to keep their vacation in St. Bart a secret, but Betty accidentally sends their vacation photos to Suzuki St. Pierre. While Dr. Farber is running tests on Ignacio, she tries to retrieve them but the flamboyant fashion reporter won't give up his journalistic scoop.

Amanda and Marc suggest that Betty blackmail the reporter by digging up dirt from his ex--who just happens to be James (Alexander Chaplin) from Spin City. Amanda threatens to "tell everyone you have ambiguous genitalia" and James--I mean "Fabian"--writes an address on her hand.

The address leads to a suburban tract housing neighborhood in Jersey where Byron Wu, mini-van driving soccer dad resides. Wu, aka Suzuki St. Pierre, is probably the only straight guy to have a gay "beard." Despite Wu's agreement not to reveal the photos of Molly and Daniel, Molly shows up in the background of a photo of Speidi on Page Six. Daniel is cropped out of the picture, but the picture of the bikini-clad Molly in St. Bart is enough to catch Connor's eye.

I'm not sure why he would care about what's going on with his ex given how hot and heavy things are going with Wilhelmina. Sporting matching goggle tan-lines from a skiing vacation in Switzerland, Connor and Wilhelmina have problems keeping their relationship under wraps back at the office. Since they can't seem to keep their hands off each other, Marc has to cover for the distracted Willie.

He's doing a great job with a presentation to some advertisers, when Willie breezes in and completely disses and dismisses him. She presents him with an expensive watch after the fact, but when he is less than enthusiastic she tells him, "I expect gratitude, not attitude." Later, she shows her gratitude when she lets him take a meeting in her place.

While Marc is moving up at Mode, Betty is moving out of her apartment with Amanda. After all that happened with Ignacio, Betty wants to be with her family. I'm going to miss Betty and Amanda sharing an apartment. Talk about an odd pairing. Amanda was under the impression that it was BETTY who had the heart attack. She warns Betty to take care of herself, "These things get passed down. They're generic."

That and she named the roaches in their apartment so they're not so scary. I don't name my roaches. I squish them dead.

On The Office, David Wallace sends Michael on a fact-finding mission to get the scoop on a family-owned paper company whose territory he wants Dunder-Mifflin to expand into. While Dwight and Michael go undercover to scope out the Prince Family Paper Company, the office gets into a prolonged debate over whether or not Hilary Swank is hot.

Although she declares that "Hot is a temperature, people," Angela sides with the "hot" side just so Kevin won't win. Michael and Dwight argue over Denny's vs. IHOP with Michael overruling Dwight's objections of IHOP's socialism telling him, "You will have pancakes and you'll like it!"

At the Prince Family Paper Company, Michael poses as a genius lawyer. He asks the kindly owner how long he's been in business. Mr. Prince tells him he began the business when he returned from Vietnam. "Vietnam. I hear it's lovely," exclaims Michael.

Meanwhile, the office continues to debate Hilary's hotness.

Dwight enters the Prince Family Paper Company to pretend to apply for a job. When he's told they're not hiring, he points at one of the employees and tells Mr. Prince to fire him. When he's told that the employee in question is the his son, Dwight says "I'm your son now. You can visit him on holidays."

Mr. Prince gives Michael a list of their clients who can recommend the company and Michael and Dwight try to make their getaway having hit the jackpot. But when Michael damages his car exiting the parking lot, the Prince family helps repair the bumper with duct tape.

I think my family might be related to the Princes. That's how we repair EVERYTHING.

Back at the office--where they are no closer to deciding Hilary's hotness--Michael has second thoughts about handing the list over to David Wallace. Dwight attempts to convince Michael by telling him, "...but if Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring..." When that doesn't work, Dwight is forced to chase Michael around the office and into the parking lot where he is able to retrieve the list from Michael.

"I'm not a shark!" Michael says plaintively.

The list ends up being sent to David Wallace, but it's a bittersweet moment for Michael. Like bittersweet chocolate, which Michael hates 'cuz what's the point? Why not just "sweet"?

Steve Carell cracks me up.

Jimmy Kimmel gets LOST

Omigod. So funny!

LOST - Because You Left and The Lie

Wow.

LOST returned with a bang last night. The main event was preceded an hour-long recap of seasons 1-4 which provided no new info other than the fact that Sun THINKS Jin died in the freighter explosion (meaning perhaps he's actually still alive?) and that the writers may finally explain the four-toed statue (Apparently people have been attracted to the island throughout the ages).

I have no how anyone who hasn't been faithfully following this series for the last four years was supposed to be brought up to speed in one hour--but there you have it.

The first episode of season five opened with a clock flipping over to 8:15 am (as in Oceanic 815, get it?) and someone putting a vinyl LP on a stereo (Willie Nelson's Shotgun Willie) which was very reminiscent of the opening of season two with Desmond down in the Hatch (Remember the Hatch? Ah, good times--good times...). Later Daniel Faraday uses the analogy of a record playing--and skipping--to explain the time shifts that occur after the island's move.

The first two installments of season five had the story flipping back and forth as well--on the island, off the island, time shifting into the past and future.

Trippy.

It seems like this season will be all about the time travel--starting with Marvin Candle (aka Dr. Chang) explaining the massive energy beneath the Orchid station which will act as a time machine. "What--we're going to go back and kill Hitler?" jokes a construction worker. No, there are RULES he is told.

The notion of the RULES are reiterated by Daniel (who pops up in the past as a Dharma worker). Those left on the island have been "dislodged" from time--but whether they are in the past or in the future, the RULES are you cannot change time. Whatever happens, happened. The only one immune to the RULES is Desmond who is special according to Daniel. When Charlotte's nose starts bleeding (indicative of someone in desperate need of a Constant as we learned last season), Daniel urges past Desmond to seek out his mother at Oxford after he gets off the island.

Desmond awakes and tells Penny, "It wasn't a dream. It was a memory." And pulling up anchor on the Searcher, they head for Oxford.

Locke is doing some time shifting of his own. At one point he ends up right when Mr. Eko's brother's plane crash lands in the trees. (Do you think this means they might bring Boone back? Ian Somerhalder...swoon!) He is shot by the still living Ethan and later told by Richard Alpert "What comes around, goes around..." Alpert attends to his wound, gives him a compass and tells him that the only way to save the island is to get your friends back. When Locke asks how he does that, Alpert says "You're gonna have to die, John."

Which is exactly what happened at the end of last season. But is Locke really dead? When Ben tells Jack he needs to take his body somewhere safe, Jack asks "He's dead, isn't he?" That's what I'd like to know...Ben finds a way to keep him from "going bad" courtesy of butcher shop run by what appears to be an Other. My guess is that Locke gets revived once back on the island...

The second hour focused on The Lie--the story concocted by the Oceanic Six to keep the others left behind safe from Charles Widmore. Sayid springs Hurley from the mental institution after killing the guy who had been staking it out. "You know maybe if you ate more comfort food you wouldn't have to go around shooting people," Hurley tells him.

In reference to Locke's alias "Jeremy Bentham," Hurley muses, "I need a cool code name."

I heart Hurley.

Indeed, The Lie was pretty much the Hugo Reyes show--with Hurley and an unconscious Sayid on the run from unknown enemies. At one point, Hurley is pulled over by a cop who turns out to be the deceased Ana Lucia. After admonishing Hurley to get a change of clothes and his act together, she tells him "Libby says Hi" and disappears.

In the classic LOST recurring theme of path-crossing, Kate pulls into the parking lot of the convenience store as Hurley and Sayid are leaving. Kate is on the run again after lawyers show up at her door wanting samples of her and Aaron's blood. While she is figuring out where to go next, her cell phone rings. She heads to a hotel and takes an elevator to the 31st floor with Aaron asking "Can I push the button?" (Again, a reference to season two and the every 108 minutes button pushing...)

Anyone surprised that the person she ended up meeting with was Sun? I didn't think so.

Kate confides to Sun about the lawyers saying, "Somebody knows we're lying." "They just want Aaron," Sun tells her.

Locke's special, Desmond's special and Aaron's special. Sigh. I wish I was special...

Before arriving in L.A., Sun is detained by the powerful Charles Widmore. She confirms to him that they have the same agenda--to kill Benjamin Linus.

Back on the island, they're not only dealing with time shifts but flaming arrows. Ah, Frogurt--we barely knew ya. But ya gotta know if wardrobe outfits you in a red shirt, you're toast. How appropriate to be toasted by a flaming arrow to the chest. The survivors scatter but Juliet and Sawyer are captured by some angry Brits wanting to know what they're doing on THEIR island. Widmore's people, perhaps? Just as one is about to chop off one of Juliet's hands, he takes a knife to the chest.

John Locke and his killer knife-throwing skills to the rescue...

Hurley ends up back home and convinces his Dad to take the still unconscious Sayid to Jack. Jack is able to revive Sayid whose well-honed fight or flight skills kick in immediately as he tries to strangle Jack. Sayid was pretty bad-ass throughout the show. Did you catch how he dispatched one of the bad guys? Death by dishwasher--pretty gruesome!

At home, Hurley breaks down and tells him mom the truth about the island and the smoke monster and the Others in a 30-second monologue that pretty much covered the hour-long recap we sat through earlier. His mom tells him, "I believe you. I don't understand you, but I believe you."

Later, Ben shows up at Hurley's home. "Sayid warned me about you!" Hurley tells him. Ben tells him that they all want the same thing--to go back to the island. "If you come with me, you won't ever have to lie again." "Never, Dude!" Hurley replies and races out of the house and gives himself up to the police.

This leaves Ben in quite a pickle. Meeting with the mysterious Mrs. Hawking--who appears to be doing calculations to locate the relocated island--he explains that he lost Hurley. She tells him he has 70 hours to get it together.

Hmm--is season five going to take place (more or less, not accounting for time shifts, etc.) over the course of seventy hours? That should be interesting....

So far it looks like they're pulling out all the stops as they wrap this series up.

You can check out recaps of Because You Left and The Lie at Lostpedia, pore over screencaps at Dark UFO or read Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney's Dueling Analyses at washingtonpost.com's Celebritology.

Clearing Out the Keywords

This is the time of the month where I take a look at the search terms that brought people to my blog. If the search led to a dead-end, I try to rectify that by providing the answer to whatever was being searched for.

I like to be helpful that way.

This time I have no additional assistance to provide. Although some of you really, really, REALLY need help.

I strongly suggest you get some.

1/16 of ounce crippie
hollywood fl crippie hook up (Like pot dealers advertise on the internet...)
she was shackled slave
tujunga steel pit assholes
was jerry rice a whiner
what does the anti-aging do for my superpoke pet? (Um, keep them from growing older?)
classic funny movie scenes spreading ashes from urn and blowing back in face
geena davis singing a song about santa accidental tourist
geena davis thelma and louise panty shots

deep dental cleaning bullshit?
dentist felon
elly and bob having sex (If you mean Elle and Bob having sex aka the characters on Heroes, they played father and daughter so Ew, ew, EW!!!)
fashion tips mens thong (Fashion tip re: men's thongs = DON'T!)
freddie highmore circumsized
free alyssa milano embrace of the vampire full length in its entirety
gay cosmetics spend average
mother-daughter kosher spa retreats (Talk about niche marketing!)
grocery store christmas song
hooked on speedman pina colada

how to deal with a difficult gay boss?
how to gap rewards work?
how to get over an office crush
how to use gap reward points
can children take 40 mgm a day of pycnogenol

indian porn actors
soren fulton shirtless (That's a new one!)
nude dudes cleaning
nude dudes cleaning
nudedudescleaning

length of an average kiss
average amount a boutique makes
average first time screenwriter advance
average housewives in panties
average keep
average kid cell phone
average soap opera career
average time it takes to read 100 pages

pictures of above average men (See "nude dudes cleaning")

above average boutique
above average in french
above average looking is that not good (Word.)
above average quotes

We know nothing of "average" or even "above average" here.

Only that which is WELL ABOVE AVERAGE!

Vicky Cristina Barcelona on DVD 1/27

I have to admit: I'm not a fan of Woody Allen movies. Once upon a time I found Annie Hall endearing and my favorite Allen movie is Sleeper which I find to be a spot on adaption of Orwell's Brave New World. But the whole Soon Yi thing skeeved me out and I have pretty much boycotted Allen's movie up until Small Time Crooks.

...which was so horrendous it made me boycott Woody Allen's movie just on the basis of badness and not even his slippery morality and ethics.

I had high hopes for Vicky Cristina Barcelona. After all, it did just win the Golden Globe award for Best Comedy. And it has a most attractive and talented cast.

But I have to agree with Ken Levine's review. The writing is indeed amateurish. The story goes nowhere. The voice-over narration is stilted and heavy-handed.

Voiceover is a fairly ubiquitous crutch in drama these days. Whether it's the "Life is like a box of chocolates" homespun wisdom of Forrest Gump or the acerbic irony of Dexter: "Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest ," narration can capture and convey mood and illuminate subtext in a way visuals alone cannot.

The voiceover narration in Vicky Cristina Barcelona is neither wise nor witty. It's banal. It's boring. It's completely superfluous.

Example:

"Vicky and Cristina decided to spend the summer in Barcelona. Vicky was completing her master's in Catalan identity which she had become interested in through her great affection for the architecture of Gaudi...After the girls unpacked and Judy's husband Mark got home from the golf course, lunch was served on the terrace...In the days that followed, Vicky and Cristina drank in the artistic treasures of the city. They particularly enjoyed the works of Gaudi and Miró...Once, Mark and Judy invited Vicky and Cristina to go sailing with them on Mark's boat..."

It's like being trapped watching a slide-show of your Aunt Mavis and Uncle George's trip abroad. Except Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall are admittedly more attractive than Aunt Mavis and Uncle George. So while it may be as stultifying as slide-show travelogue at least the Barcelona scenery is visually striking--as is the cast which also includes the very sexy (now freed of the horrible haircut of No Country for Old Men) Javier Bardem and the exquisite force of nature Penelope Cruz.

Indeed, it's entirely Penelope Cruz's movie. Although she doesn't appear until almost an hour into the story, the movie doesn't really command any attention until she appears on screen. Sure, Javier is a great attraction. When he proposes a threesome between himself, Johannson and Hall, I think "Hell--I'd go for that!" Even if the threesome was Javier, me and the skeevy Woody Allen I think I'd take him up on the offer. But a threesome between Javier, Scarlett and the delicious Penelope Cruz?

No wonder this movie made so many critics rave.

Truthfully (despite the menage a trois and girl-on-girl action) except for Penelope there's not much passion or sex in this film. Just a whole lot of talking and typical Woody Allen over-analyzation. And the dialogue is written in a way that sounds forced and contrived. The actors do a fine job with what they're given to work with, but the unctuous and mundane narration spoon feeds the audience in a most unappealing way.

(Note to screenwriters everywhere: this film is a perfect example of how NOT to write! It's show not tell. And definitely not show AND tell. )

But there's definitely an Oscar nomination out there with Penelope Cruz's name on it. She was phenomenal! If you like pretty people and pretty places and Spanish guitar, Vicky Cristina Barcelona might make make an interesting rental choice. The DVD contains no extras--just the film with captions and subtitles and scene selection.

If nothing else, it might inspire you to do a little traveling.

Desperate Housewives - The Best Thing that Could Have Ever Happened

For the 100th episode, Desperate Housewives featured a guest starring appearance by Earl Hickey's Dad.

Okay, it was Beau Bridges playing handyman Eli Scruggs. At first it seemed cruel to introduce the kindly character just to kill him off in the first few minutes of the show, but it turns out Eli Scruggs was a plot device to revisit the past with the lusty ladies of Wisteria Lane as they each remembered times where the dependable Mr. Fix-it touched their lives.

And it seems that Eli Scruggs was handy with more than just hammer and wrench. He fixed Gabby up with the ladies when she first moved to Wisteria Lane. He also set her straight when she came off as a stuck-up bitch.

Eli turned out to be the inspiration for Bree continuing with her dream of writing a cookbook and was "the most consistent male relationship" in Susan's revolving door love life.

When Edie husband Umberto turned out to be gay, his support went above and beyond (or more accurately below and beyond) the call of duty.

The funniest memory came from Lynette, whose ambitions of returning to work were being derailed by her pregnancy with Penny. So obsessed that she's still negotiating her compensation package while in labor, Lynette single-minded focus causes issues with Tom. "You told me I could go back to work after the baby was born!" she whines. "After, Lynette--not DURING!" When Lynette squeals with glee after landing the job, Tom snarks "The baby's arm is sticking out. Why don't you high five it?"

Lynette is brought back to reality when she accidentally leaves the newborn Penny in the car while talking to her boss on her cell phone. The baby is rescued by the observant Eli and Lynette rethinks her career decision.

The writers even managed to bring back Mary Alice--who helped Eli get his start in the neighborhood. Apparently Eli's guilt over not preventing Mary Alice's suicide led him to vow to help others whenever he could. Nice tie-in, but Susan's breakup with Karl, Penny's birth, Gabby arrival to the neighborhood and Umberto all happened well before Mary Alice's suicide--which is how the show kicked off its inaugural season.

Still, it was a sweet and touching episode...and now I'm a bit sad that Carl Hickey--I mean Eli Scruggs--won't be around Wisteria Lane anymore.

Defiance

Holocaust movies are generally Oscar bait and we got three in 2008: Kate Winslet in The Reader, Tom Cruise in Valkyrie and Daniel Craig in Defiance. There was also The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, but that one lacked a big above the title movie star, so it pretty much stayed beneath the radar.

Defiance is the story of the Bielski brothers, who escaped Nazi-occupied Poland into the Belorussian forest where they formed a partisan resistance group which eventually grew into a community of 1,200 Jews who were saved from certain death in the Nazi concentration camps.

Daniel Craig does a credible job as Tuvia, the eldest Bielski and defacto leader of the group. Liev Schreiber plays his hot-headed brother Zus and Jamie Bell is the sensitive younger brother Asael. It's gritty and brutal and an intriguing yet little-known story.

The performances are good all around, the cinematography is gorgeous. And yet while I felt it was a good movie, it missed the mark of being a great movie. For one, the pacing was a bit off and the story seemed to meander--and flounder--in the second act of the film. By the time the climatic third act battle occurs, it ends up feeling anti-climatic rather than a rousing and satisfying conclusion to the story.

The split focus between brother Zus who joins up with the Russian resistance and Tuvia who stays with the Jewish camp might have illuminated the differences in the brothers personalities, but it didn't help with creating the character development and emotional moments that engage and draw the audience in. The chemistry between Craig and Schreiber was really strong and could have been used to better effect with more scenes together. The character of Asael was the only one to undergo any transformation--but he was given so little screen time that his journey barely registered.

There is no bigger sap when it comes to being moved by a stirring drama. And yet my eyes did not well up in tears once.

If you tell a story about a group of people overcoming odds to survive and I'm not bawling my eyes out by the end of the movie, you've done something wrong somewhere.

Still, it was a story worth telling. Too bad it wasn't told better.

Happy Birthday to Me...

...and my sister, Laurie! We share a birthday--but apparently the universe isn't impressed. We both are dealing with assorted and decidedly non-Birthday bull$@#.

Laurie's been working insane hours and, despite being in the same town where my brother David resides, has been unable to catch a break to catch up with him.

My car is obstinately refusing to pass CA smog. Watch out buster or it's the junk heap for you! And, I'm fighting yet another cold.

It hasn't been all bad, though.

I got a funny card from my funny friend Dave. It was actually a Thanksgiving card with a picture of a Mayflower looking ship on front and the words:

"The first Thanksgiving took place in 1620, when the Pilgrims left England aboard the Mayflower and sailed to America on a rough, dangerous and exhausting 62 day journey across the Atlantic."

And then inside the card it says:

"It's amazing what some people will do to get away from their relatives. Happy Thanksgiving."

It's a funny card but even funnier was Dave's inscription which in typical Dave stream of consciousness fashion went like this:

"okay, so it isn't thanksgiving.
i'm just a little early.
but maybe you were really born on turkey day¹ but it was so hectic, what with the bird prep and all that your Pa² said, "Next year her birthday is gonna be January 17th, in honor of Martin King³. That sounds like something your father would do.⁴
But then your mom said, "No freakin' way! She's my turkey baby and that's how it's gonna stay!"⁵
And if your parent are like most parents, they couldn't agree so you had two birthdays.
And that means if you've had two birthdays every years for what?, the past thirty years or so,⁶ even though in their eyes you're sixty,⁷ really you're only fifteen.⁸
Damn, all this thinking about math and seein' how good I am at it makes me wish I had been an astrologist.⁹
So happy birthday!
Now let's make something of this year!"

¹ I wasn't born on turkey day.
² Pa? What is this--Little House on the Prairie?
³ Martin Luther King day wasn't established until 1983. Though it pains me to admit it, I am older than 26.
⁴ No, it doesn't.
⁵ I must point out that Dave has never met my mother or father.
⁶ Close enough.
⁷ SIXTY?!!! What happened to THIRTY?
⁸ The mad math skills just blow my mind...
⁹ Hmm, humorist maybe. Otherwise, don't quit your day job!

Speaking of family, yesterday I received a card ("You're not getting old...Hell, you were old last year!") from James. Via Express Mail. Since he bagged out on Christmas, I guess he really didn't want to miss my birthday, too. Enclosed was a check for $200 with an admonition in the memo field "Presents only!" In his inimitable scrawl he wrote:

"Happy Birthday Sis!!!

From your sucky brother James. I certainly don't set out to be inconsiderate some how it just finds me. Any way I love you, and I miss you and I look forward to seeing you again soon.
PLEASE!!! The check was not intended to be impersonal I really just wanted you to have what you really desired. If I could, I would take you T.V. shopping. But please get what you really want and tell me how wonderful I am later.

NO BILL PAYING!"

Well, okay then. I've got the perfect plan for the $200. Once Laurie gets the flash designed, James will be footing the bill for my next tattoo.

My friend John called me to wish me a happy birthday last night. My brother David IM'd birthday greetings this morning. And I've had dozens of people wishing me a Happy Birthday via Facebook.

With one notable exception. It's the same person who ignored my birthday last year. And someone to whom I've always been available to provide assistance. Including a $@#%load of 24/7 free tech support.

Ah well. Hope someone isn't in need of tech support anytime soon. I'll be taking some time off--to celebrate my birthday!

The Office - Duel

My TV Guide said Ugly Betty would be on at 8 pm. So I rushed home, scarfed down dinner, raced to the gym and did an abbreviated version of my workout just so I could get home in time to watch...

Scrubs.

Hello? TV Guide People! Some people actually schedule their lives around their favorite programs so get your schedule right!

Obviously I really need to get TiVo.

What I did get to watch was the inevitable showdown between Dwight and Andy on The Office.

Seventeen days and still clueless about Angela's affair with Dwight? Poor Andy. Michael takes it upon himself to break the news to him--in a long drawn out way as they walk to Michael's car. As Michael drives off for a meeting with David Wallace at corporate, he tells Andy that Angela is having an affair with Dwight.

Andy confronts Angela asking her "Are you sleeping with Dwight?"

"A little bit," Angela replies.

Meanwhile, Michael is meeting with David Wallace who tells him in the face of the economic downturn, the Scranton branch is doing well. Better than all the other branches as a matter of fact. Mystified by this, Wallace asks Michael, "What are you doing right?"

This leads Michael to the same circuitous and tortuous explanation that he did previously with Andy. "An improv conversation...an improversation" is how Michael describes it.

Back at the office, Andy and Dwight agree to duel and Angela agrees to abide by whomever wins.

"I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over who gets to hold the camcorder," boasts Meredith.

"I can't believe that they're going to fight over me!" exclaims Angela.

"I guess people have fewer choices as they get older," shrugs Kelly.

In the parking lot, Andy distracts Dwight by pinning a note to the wall. As Dwight stands reading the note, Andy sneaks up in his Prius and pins between it and the fence.

You go, Andy!

As the two argue, Dwight realizes that Angela lied to him as well when she told him she was only sleeping with him.

They two return to the office. Andy calls and cancels the wedding cake. Dwight disposes the bobble-head Angela gave him into the trash.

So there were no winners, but one loser.

Angela.

If you missed the episode, you can catch it at CastTV.

Ellin LaVar Leave-In Penetrating Balm

You would think that my Mia Farrow circa Rosemary's Baby haircut would be no hassle at all.

You would be wrong.

Even chopped into submission, my hair has a tendency towards frizz and fly-aways. Imagine my surprise when I found a miracle product that does double duty--a balm that both conditions my hair and acts as a styling product.

Loaded with exotic and nourishing ingredients like Brazil Nut Oil, Pequi Oil, Cupuaçú Seed Butter, Maracuja Passion Fruit Emollient, Grape Seed Procyandins and Tocopherols, Ellin LaVar Penetrating Balm makes my hair soft and shiny and easy to style.

Even better, the salon quality product is a bargain. At less than $8, you probably spend more tipping the shampoo girl!

You can find the full line of Ellin LaVar Textures as your local CVS.

Easy Animal Rights Activism!

Whether it's a love of puppies, elephants or polar bears--or all three and then some--I've got an easy way to show solidarity with our furry friends:

Anti-Records has released a free download of People Got A Lotta Nerve, the first single from Neko Case's new album Middle Cyclone, and for every blog that posts the song and iLike user who adds it to his/her profile, Neko Case and Anti-Records will make a donation benefiting Best Friends Animal Society.

The promotion will run from January 14 to February 3, 2009. Five dollars will be donated for every blog post and one dollar for every user of iLike that adds the song to his/her profile. So, if you have a blog, post it--or if you're a Facebook user, add it to your profile. It's an easy and painless way to support a good cause.


Celebrating its 25th anniversary in 2009, Best Friends Animal Society is one of America's foremost animal rescue organizations. Best Friends advances nationwide animal welfare initiatives by working with shelter and rescue groups around the country. On any given day Best Friends Animal Sanctuary (the nation's largest facility for abused, abandoned and special needs companion animals located in southwestern Utah) is home to approximately 2,000 dogs, cats, horses, rabbits, birds, and other animals. The society also publishes Best Friends magazine, the nation's largest general interest, pet-related magazine with approximately 300,000 subscribers.

She Don't Use Jelly - The Flaming Lips

Since receiving an iTunes gift card from David and Crystal for Christmas, I've been making a list of songs I want to download. This song came on the radio while I was out with Laurie and Dennis this weekend and immediately the silly lyrics caught my ear and made me giggle.

It's definitely on the list now.



She Don't Use Jelly

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts
She'll make ya breakfast
She'll make ya toast
She don't use butter
She don't use cheese
She don't use jelly
Or any of these
She uses vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline

I know a guy who goes to shows
When he's at home and he blows his nose
He don't use tissues or his sleeve
He don't use napkins or any of these
He uses magazines
Magazines
Magazines
Magazines
Magazines

I know a girl who reminds me of Cher
(reminds me of Cher)
She's always changing
(she's always changing)
The color of her hair
(color of her hair)
She don't use nothing
That ya buy at the store
She likes her hair to be real orange
She uses tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines

Desperate Housewives - Connect! Connect!

As the episode title suggests, last night's Desperate Housewives was all about connecting:

Edie and Susan, and Bree and Alex, and Lynnette and her mother, and Gabby and her kids.

That's a lot of connecting.

The episode started with a disconnection picking up with where last week's story ended--Dave walking down Wisteria Lane, suitcases in hand after being thrown out by Edie.

Who WALKS to a hotel? I mean--REALLY!

I'm sure the writers were stuck with coming up with a way for Dave's path to cross with Mike Delfino, who offers to let Dave stay with him after hearing about his fight with Edie.

But seriously, who WALKS to a hotel? Especially given how few hotels would actually be in walking distance in surburbia...

The women all gather to support Edie in her time of need. Edie isn't upset that Dave was married before, but that he neglected to mention it--especially after she laid her entire life out for him. "Emphasis on the word LAID," snarks Gaby.

But everyone is distracted from commiserating with poor Edie when Susan announces that she needs Edie to put her house on the market because she's moving in with Jackson. This puts Edie in a snit which complicates matters when she and Susan are accidentally locked in the basement of the house Andrew and Alex are moving in to.

This was at least more believably handled than Dave's exodus to a hotel à pied.

Although Susan's reaction to Edie's bruised ego was more a bit out of character: "I thought we gave your latest breakup the three seconds it deserved." Okay, Mayer--taking Edie lessons?

While trapped together, Edie dissects Susan's relationship history to prove her point that Susan is incapable of being without a man. Susan counters with the fact that Edie has probably been with over a thousand men. "Okay--I enjoyed the 80s!" Edie shrugs.

Edie reveals to Susan that when she was young, her father left her mother--and stole her horse figurine collection to give to his new girlfriend's little girl. Of course, this story makes Susan weepy--but as she tries to sympathize, Edie slaps her. So Susan pushes Edie, causing her to topple into a bunch of boxes and hurt herself.

The two are finally rescued when the exterminator shows up to check the rat traps. Edie tells Susan if she ever repeats the story about the horse collection, she will kill her.

That I'd like to see...

The time spent trapped in the basement not only forges a bond between the two rivals, but causes Edie to re-evaluate her relationship with Dave--asking him to come back home, and Susan to re-evaluate her relationship with Jackson--choosing to be alone in Fairview over moving to be with Jackson.

Another relationship underwent a re-evaluation during the episode: Bree was called on her behavior by her future son-in-law, Alex--who accuses her of emasculating Orson. This escalates into a power struggle between the two which culminates in Alex telling Bree that he's not interested in her generous gift of a house for him and Andrew.

Bree tries to get Andrew to run interference but Andrew tells her that Alex is not her husband or son or employee. "Not everyone has to listen to you," he explains to his flummoxed mother. Bree finally realizes that her bossiness due to her business is getting out of control. "I need someone to call me out..." she tells Alex and offers him that job.

Bree's not the only housewife dealing with "listening" problems: Gaby can't get Celia and Juanita to obey her when Carlos leaves for a business trip. At her wits end, the handyman gives her some advice, "Fear is the foundation of all good parenting."

When Carlos arrives back home, he finds the girls doing all sorts of chores. He's thrilled that they're helping their mommy, until Juanita explains that their motivation was because "The scary man told us we had to."

A bit of motherly manipulation in the Scavo household as well. When one of Stella's nursing home neighbors rats her out to Lynnette, Lynnette confronts her mother as to Porter's whereabouts. Angry that her daughter stuck her in the nursing home and rarely visits, Stella refuses to tell Lynnette where Porter is. "The last time I came you threw pudding at me!" says Lynnette defensively.

On her way back from the nursing home, Lynnette is in tears as she talks with Tom (No hands-free laws in Fairview, obviously...) and we are led to believe that Lynnette has been in a car accident. Actually, the cars in front of her collided which led her to think it could have BEEN her in the accident, which led her to come up with the scheme to tell Stella she was in a car accident.

This flushes Porter out of hiding as he and Stella rush to the hospital. Lynnette reveals that it was a trick and convinces him to go to court--just in time to save them from losing their bail bond money and the restaurant. She also mends fences with Stella tellling her that if she behaves better, she'll visit more often and even bring the kids.

Finally, while separated briefly from Edie, Dave finalizes his revenge on Mike. Have you figured it out? My guess is that Dave plans to take someone Mike loves away from him, the way he believes Mike took what he loved (his wife Lila and daughter Paige) away from him. And that someone would be Katherine.

Dave witnessed Katherine testing the waters with Mike when she told him how Dylan wanted her to move to Baltimore to be closer to her and her grandkid. Mike's non-commital response upsets her and causes Dave to believe that Mike is still in love with Susan.

But later, Mike admits that he's falling in love with Katherine (I'm guessing the writers think it'd be easier to write Dana Delaney out of the show than Teri Hatcher. Bummer...). He even sends her a huge bouquet of red roses with a note that reads "Don't Go."

Ah--but if Dave has anything to say about it, the lovely Katherine will indeed be leaving Wisteria Lane and Mike's life.

Permanently.

Wicked

I finally got to see Wicked at the Pantages yesterday. (I know Esther's probably rolling her eyes thinking, "It's 2009 and you hadn't seen Wicked YET?!!!) My book club read Gregory Maguire's book back in 2004 and we were stoked to go see the musical coming soon to the Pantages--but never got around to it.

Tonight is Wicked's final performance at the Pantages--it moves up to San Francisco for a year or two. And my sister Laurie and brother-in-law Dennis are in Los Angeles to supervise the move! That seemed like as good an excuse as any to finally catch the hit musical before it left L.A. once more.

The Pantages Theatre is this old gorgeous art deco theater where, if what's on stage isn't keeping your interest, you can be mesmerized by the ornate ceiling. Thanks to my sister's connections, we were able to score great seats--just ten rows back from the stage. I think the balcony would have given us a better perspective of the spectacle, but (except for the idiot "lovebirds" in front of me who were leaning into each other and blocking my sight line...) we had a great view of the stage.

Eden Espinosa and Megan Hilty, who originated the roles of Elphaba and Glinda in the Los Angeles production of Wicked were on hand to close out the L.A. run of the show. Dennis informed us that we were in for a treat with Espinosa, who--other than Idina Menzel who originated the role--was the best of the actresses who had performed the roloe of Elphaba. He wasn't kidding. Espinosa's voice was wonderful. Clear, crisp and strong--she enunciated so well it made the complex lyrics easily understandable.

Hilty also did an outstanding job although her part in the opening number "No One Mourns the Wicked" was overshadowed by the chorus. I've never seen Kristin Chenoweth's portrayal of Glinda, but from watching her as Olive Snook on Pushing Daisies and then seeing Hilty's performance, it's easy to see how Chenoweth defined the role of the Good Witch of the North. Hilty's portrayal of Glinda seemed to be a lot of Kristin Chenoweth--with a bit of Kristen Wiig thrown in for good measure in my opinion...

The Los Angeles production also featured Carol Kane in the role of Madame Morrible and she was exceptional. For those of you wondering where Latka Gravas' SO ended up, there's your answer!

The musical is not quite as dark as the book and is quite funny at times. It ties in more of the standard mythology from the movie version than did the book and, in typical Broadway musical fashion, has a happy ending that the book did not. I guess that's to be expected--you want people to leave the theater humming the score, not sobbing and depressed. Although, the score and songs aren't quite as "catchy" as something from a Lloyd Webber production...

(I don't quite understand, however, how you can depict a magical land with animals who talk and monkeys that fly and wizards and witches--good and bad--and yet a green girl is considered "weird"...)

The set was stunning. After the show, Laurie and Dennis took us backstage to look around. We got to see the amazing wardrobe up close. The details of each costume were exquisite! Laurie said they cost thousands of dollars apiece. We peered into the orchestra pit and Dennis showed us the trapdoor where Elphaba reappears after "melting" and all the wiring and such that goes into making a magical musical.

It was a wicked good time!

Effortless Grace

Sarah Kaufman wrote a wonderful article for the Washington Post about the absolute perfection of physical expression of actor Cary Grant.

"Grant's dark beauty, cultured diction and gift for comedy are unmistakable. But what I find most fascinating about him -- and I believe it's the reason he is as watchable now as he was all those decades ago -- is his physical grace, an effortlessness that borders on the surreal.

It's always there, in every role, in the way he walks, the way he slips a hand into his pocket, the way he stands, with his shoulders melting just a bit toward the co-star his character is invariably secretly in love with."

It's a really well-written piece. Read it and rent North by Northwest to see what she's talking about. You won't be disappointed!

Ugly Betty - Dress for Success

Last night's episode of Ugly Betty was probably one of my favorites. Tightly written, full of tension and drama. Plus it had Bernadette Peters and Nikki Blonsky. Both of the musical performers played thorns in Betty's side--Peters as Jodie Papadakis, the person running the YETI (Young Editors in Training) program and Blonsky as Teri, an assistant at rival Elle magazine.

Betty's feeling the squeeze between participating in the YETI program and maintaining family ties. When she blows off a YETI mixer to attend to family obligations, she is chastised by Jodi who threatens to kick her out of the program. Tasked with making 40 new contacts, she appeals to Marc for help.

Reminded of how Betty helped him get into the YETI program in the first place, Marc takes Betty out to a hot club to network. After she spends 20 minutes chatting up a caterer, Marc gives her lowdown on how to efficiently network and tells her, "You're a mean, not so lean, networking machine." Marc leaves the "Bettinator" to contact making--the Terminator special effects were a nice touch.

With only one contact left to make, Betty meets Teri--a seemingly kindred spirit who admits that she hates networking. But when Betty excuses herself to use the ladies room, she leaves her Blackberry behind for Teri to access.

On it, was the info about the super special Halston fireworks dress that was to be worn by Keira Knightley on Mode's next cover. When Betty goes to pick up the dress, she's told it's already been picked up. By Betty Suarez. The representative at Halston even produces Betty's business card as proof. The "Betty" who picked up the dress, however, had a pink stripe in her hair just like Teri.

Betty has to slink back to Mode and explain what happened to a murderous Wilhelmina and a disappointed Daniel. "I thought she was my friend!" Betty says. "Friendship is the oldest trick in the book!" Willie counters.

Meanwhile the love quadrangle between Willie, Connor, Molly and Daniel has been heating up. Willie shows Daniel the security recording of the encounter between him and Molly. But instead of blackmailing him, she gives him the disc--and some advice. She tells him he owes it to himself to see if there is a future for him and Molly. (Of course a future for Daniel and Molly leaves Connor free for Willie...)

Willie invites Daniel to her super elite cocktail where she will pull Connor aside so Daniel can get some alone time with Molly. Daniel poses the question to Molly, but her response is to ask Connor if they can leave the party because she isn't feeling well. Molly ends up interrupting what almost was a moment between Connor and Willie.

At Hilda's big launch party for the reopening of the new and improved Beautilities, Betty realizes that her catering contact could help her recover the missing dress. Much to Hilda and Ignacio's chagrin, she leaves Hilda's party in order to retrieve the dress and her reputation. The caterer lets Marc and Betty into Elle where they infiltrate "the closet" and locate the dress hanging on a mannequin.

With Teri hot on their heels, they escape with the dress--mannequin and all--and show up with it at Willie's door. The coveted dress allows them access to Willie's exclusive party, where Betty chooses to ignore Hilda's calls in favor of sucking up to Jodie Papadakis.

Willie and Daniel commisserate over losing out on Connor and Molly respectively, but when Daniel goes home he finds Molly waiting for him. She admits that she has feelings for him and that she broke up with Connor. Connor shows up at Willie's for a bit of consoling.

And while Daniel and Molly and Connor and Willie were sucking face, Betty arrives home to find the house empty. Checking her cell phone, she sees a whole slew of messages from Hilda. It seems while Betty was hobnobbing with celebs at Willie's soiree, Ignacio was rushed to the hospital due to a heart attack.

The Fall Guy

Although this script could use some work, I think the opening works brilliantly. It opens with action, sets up the story to follow and pretty much clues the audience in to what the movie is about in just a little over two pages:

EXT. HAIGHT STREET - EVENING

A YOUNG COUPLE, late 20s, exits a club. ALLEN, unassuming
CPA type, and KATEY, attractive in a smart way. Music and
laughter seep out into the night.

There is an awkwardness between them. He attempts an upbeat
air, wondering if he should reach for her hand. Her arms
pull her wrap tightly around her shoulders indicating this
is not a good idea.

ALLEN
So, what did you think? Pretty hip
and happening place, huh?

She nods her head without enthusiasm.

ALLEN (CONT'D)
How 'bout next time we hit the
Paradise Lounge?

She stops, standing in front of an alley. He stops and walks
back to her. She takes a deep breath.

KATEY
Look, Allen--you're a really nice
guy, but--

A DARK FIGURE leaps out from the alley. Dressed in black,
from ski mask pulled over the face to the canvas high top
sneakers, he strikes a menacing pose.

Katey gives a little scream. Allen moves protectively towards her.

MUGGER
Give me your money and no-one gets
hurt.

Katey cowers next to Allen. She holds out her purse.

Allen steps in front of her and stands tall.

ALLEN
Listen asshole--if you want my money,
you're gonna have to take it from me!

The mugger moves forward and throws a punch.

Allen neatly deflects it. He throws a series of quick
jabs--solar plexus, face and then a solid jab to the chest
that lays the mugger flat out on the ground.

Allen turns to check on a stunned Katey.

ALLEN (CONT'D)
Are you okay?

Katey nods in a daze. Allen puts his arm around her and
leads her past the incapacitated mugger. They turn the corner
and walk into a parking lot.

Allen presses the autolock button on his key ring and unlocks
his waiting red Audi. He opens the door for Katey and helps
her into the car. As he goes to shut the door, he notices
his bare wrist.

ALLEN (CONT'D)
Damn, my watch must have slipped off
while I was beating up that mugger.
(to Katey)
You wait here--keep the doors locked.
I'll be right back.

KATEY
You can't go back there--forget about
the watch! I'll buy you a new one.

ALLEN
No, I have to get it. It was a
graduation gift from my grandfather.
It's...sentimental value.

KATEY
Please--be careful!
Allen nods his head grimly and shuts her door. He presses
the autolock and strides back to the alley.

EXT. ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER
BOBBY has removed the ski mask removed revealing an unruly
mop of dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. He is sitting
up, stretching his neck with a hand on his chin.

A SHADOW falls across his face. He looks up and sees Allen
looming in the alley opening.

Allen reaches into his coat, pulls out his wallet and takes
out a hundred dollar bill. He hands it to Bobby.

ALLEN
Thanks, man!

Bobby takes the bill and gives him a salute.

Allen puts his wallet back into his coat and pulls out his
watch. He fastens it onto his wrist and, giddy, almost skips
back to his car.

My Top Ten Favorite Movies of 2008

These may not all be Oscar-worthy, but they rank as the ten movies I enjoyed watching most in 2008.

In no particular order:

1. Slumdog Millionaire - Gorgeous, gripping and ultimately feel-good. Devl Patel is an extremely engaging underdog and Danny Boyle manages to capture the cacaphonous exotic beauty of India and its people.

2. The Fall - This movie had Tarsem Singh's gorgeous visuals and the delectable Lee Pace, but it also had an engrossing story (and story within a story) and a completely natural child actor Catinca Untaru.

3. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - Sadly this little gem of a movie will miss out on much deserved Oscar love due to the gnat-sized attention spans of the Academy. Great performances by Frances McDormand, Amy Adams, Lee Pace and Ciaran Hinds along with exquisite costumes and production design made this charming little movie an absolute delight to watch.

4. Tropic Thunder - There were a lot of good comedies released in 2008, but Ben Stiller's send-up of the action movie genre--and Hollywood in general--was by far the funniest. Whether it was Robert Downey Jr's delusional divo or Danny McBride's trigger-happy special effects guy or Tom Cruise as a grotesquely profane studio exec, Stiller and company pulled no punches. The action sequences were top-notch as well.

5. Iron Man - I was dubious about Robert Downey Jr. being cast as an comic book action hero, but the dissolute and sardonic Tony Stark fit Downey Jr. like a glove. Or more accurately like the armored suit the superhero wears...

6. BIGGER, STRONGER, FASTER* - Chris Bell's documentary on the use of anabolic steroids manages to be both topical and personal, educational and entertaining.

7. The Visitor - Richard Jenkins gives a subtly nuanced performance as a reclusive professor whose life is shaken up by two immigrants living in his apartment and Haaz Sleiman is a delight as the catalyst that inspires Jenkins' character to find the music in his heart and life.

8. WALL*E - Given the hyperbole and high expectations for this latest Pixar release, it would be easy to have been disappointed. But the charming movie about a sweet-natured robot who falls in love manages not only to meet all expectations, but to exceed them--and offer a little ecology lesson as well.

9. Ghost Town - It's hard to imagine Ricky Gervais as a romantic leading man who sweeps you off your feet--but as the awkwardly misanthropic dentist who can see dead people, Gervais manages to be quite beguiling in this quirky romantic comedy. Tea Leoni is no slouch either.

10. RocknRolla - Guy Ritchie's back with another Cockney gangster flick. Gerard Butler is great as a lovable thieving bloke and Tom Wilkinson is dependably fabulous, but Toby Kebbell steals the movie with his turn as the title character.

The Top Ten Keywords

In the eighteen months since I began this blog, I've been amused and amazed at some of the searches that have landed here. The most consistent keywords over this time period have been:

1. GAP Rewards

2. August Rush soundtrack

3. King of California soundtrack

4. Best of Craigslist

5. Stella Louise (Nice to know I'm in the top ten!!!)

6. Stella Louise Facebook

7. Biotherm Rides Repair

8. GAP Rewards points (They really should hire me to blog for them...)

9. Well Above Average

10. Hollie Nell blog (Whoohoo Hollie--you made the top ten!)

"Mark Cuban shirtless" inexplicably is number twelve on the list. Poor "Tom Bergeron shirtless" isn't even close at number 36. But both guys beat out "Mika Brzezinski nude"--which lands at 39.

Desperate Housewives - Home is the Place

It's back: the drama, the deceit, the desperate housewives.

Yay!

Nice casting addition in last night's episode with Joanna Cassidy playing Andrew's future monster-in-law. Bree definitely had her hackles raised by the boozy barmaid whose idea of family relations is to call dibs on major holidays. As the two one up each other for control over their sons' lives, Bree "outbids" Melina by buying Andrew and Alex the house down the street.

The writers skirted the Gale Harold motorcycle accident by having Jackson "appear" via phone calls to Susan. Susan, bored without Jackson around, spies on Lee and Bob fighting. When Lee confronts her, she counters by telling him "If you're interested, I have dirt on Bree!" She manages to finagle her way into going clubbing with Lee that evening. "You might want to pule on the makeup," Lee tells her. "Drag queens get their first drink free."

As they party at the club, Susan gets another phone call from Jackson--this time he tells her about a new job he was offered in a new town and asks her to move in with him. Susan confides this to Lee as well as the fact that she often sabotages her relationships. After a night of carousing, Lee and Susan end up in bed together.

Later Lee assures Susan that nothing happened. "Yo, gay here! Listening to opera in a kimono?" Susan is relieved that she hasn't sabotaged yet another relationship, but Lee--in a rare tender moment--advises her to hold off on moving in with Jackson.

And so that probably ends Gale Harold's run on Desperate Housewives.

Now that Carlos' sight is restored, Gaby wants him to get a real job making real money. Especially after she finds out he quit his massage gig at the country club. "Now that I can see, " Carlos explains, "naked people are gross." When Gaby runs into Bradley, a former colleague of Carlos', she thinks she has the perfect solution in the form of a six-figure income with perks. Carlos has other ideas and announces that he's gotten a job working with the blind.

Gaby arranges a dinner party so that Bradley can convince Carlos to take the job. But Bradley's bitter wife Maria does a better job of convincing him not to. Later Carlos and Gaby argue over the money situation with Gaby winning and a whipped Carlos making the call to accept the job offer.

How long 'til this blows up in Gaby's face? And isn't workaholic Carlos the reason she had the affair with John the underage gardener in season one?

Preston is still posing as Porter until Penny outs him in front of Lee the lawyer. Lee gives Lynette and Tom two days to locate Porter before he is forced to report what he knows to the authorities. Lynette notices Preston talking to someone on his cell phone and grabs it from him and redials the number. On the other end, Porter hangs up on Lynette and Preston claims he has no knowledge of his twin's whereabouts and refuses to help Lynette track him down. He tells Lynette that Warren Schilling threatened to kill Porter.

Later Lynette explains to Preston that as a mother, she has a primal instinct to protect her children--even if it means running Warren Schilling down with her car. Preston relents and pleads with Porter to talk with Lynette. As she begs Porter to come back home--promising to protect him from Warren Schilling--the phone is removed from Porter's hand.

Turns out the runaway is with Lynette's mom, Stella (Polly Bergen), who is dubious about Lynette's support given how she was treated.

And the Dave drama has finally reached a boiling point with our favorite vengeful schizo in full melt-down mode. While Roberta and Karen stake out Dr. Heller's office to get the skinny on the psycho, Dave calls in for a prescription refill. Too bad they end up leaving the office after finding the doctor has disappeared and before hearing the receptionist talking to a "David Dash" who resides on Wisteria Lane.

Edie is mystified by Dave's odd behavior and when she finds him talking to himself in the middle of the night, she confronts him. He admits being married before and tells her that his wife died. Rocked by this news, Edie kicks Dave out. As he walks down Wisteria Lane, suitcases in hand Karen McCluskey witnesses his leaving.

Um, why wouldn't he be driving away? Or call a cab? Who walks down the street carrying suitcases?

Maybe he's going to move in with his pal Mike Delfino?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I had planned on seeing Will Smith's Seven Pounds today. But time constraints ruled that out and I ended up seeing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I wasn't really up for it, but I figured if Hollie liked it, it must be okay.

And frankly, it was everything I expected it to be. Not bad. Not great. Basically a rehash of Forrest Gump.

Take one simple naif, southern setting, voiceover narrative, strong mother figure, improbably romantic interest, odd characters met along the way, impressive use of CGI--well, if you've seen Forrest Gump, you've seen Benjamin Button.

The only twist on the story is that Benjamin Button ages backwards. It's an interesting wrinkle (no pun intended) -- but it amounts to nothing in the story. At first I thought it might be the illumination of the adage that "youth is wasted on the young." But whether Benjamin is a seven year-old in a seventy year-old body, or sixty year-old in the body of a twenty year-old, he remains the same throughout. Despite his travels and the many different people he encounters along the way, he is still a cipher.

Blank slate. Tabla rasa. Devoid of presence and personality.

With the opening anecdote about clockmaker Mr. Gateau and his clock that ran backwards--along with the numerous images of clocks throughout the film--perhaps Benjamin Button is a demonstration of the artifice of time. While of course we experience the cycles and rhythms of day and night and the changing of the seasons, the seconds, minutes and hours that our lives are broken into are a man-made constraint.

No matter what the thematic purpose of the film may have been, I was left scratching my head as to what it all meant. All 2 hours and 40 minutes of it! While beautiful to watch, the pace did drag at times and I'm sure at least 30-40 minutes could have been cut without any great loss to the story. There wasn't much of a story per se: Benjamin is born old, abandoned to be raised by the nurturing Queenie (a terrific Taraji P. Henson), grows younger, goes to sea, goes to war, comes back home, reunites with Daisy, leaves Daisy, regresses to childhood and infancy and dies.

Blah, blah, blah. The end.

Blanchett and Pitt are gorgeous to watch and there are some great supporting performances. In addition to Henson--who was a marvel in Hustle and Flow and a force of nature in Talk to Me--Tilda Swinton makes an appearance as one of Benjamin's lovers, Elle Fanning plays the young version of Daisy and Mahershalalhashbaz Ali plays Queenie's husband, Tizzy. (I spent hours trying to figure out where I knew him from. Finally it hit me--Richard Tyler from The 4400!)

If you loved Forrest Gump (I didn't) and you love Brad Pitt, then this is definitely the movie for you. But if you want to see something more unique, with more emotional resonance, skip this pretty but empty time waster and go see Slumdog Millionaire instead.

Slumdog Millionaire

I knew I couldn't possibly list my favorite movies of 2008 without seeing this film. Not only has it garnered raves from the critics (including appearing at number one on Peter Travers of Rolling Stone's best of list), but Linz McC gave it her seal of approval as well.

Having recently seen several movies (Doubt, Frost/Nixon) where the goodness of humankind is highly questionable, I was touched and heartened by Danny Boyle's sappy little love story.

Okay, maybe "sappy" isn't quite the right word for a film that can be quite brutal and violent (this IS a Danny Boyle movie we're talking about!), but you definitely root for underdog (aka "Slumdog") Jamal to triumph against all odds--to win the million dollars (or more accurately $410,000), to win the girl, to live happily ever after.

Apparently Danny Boyle secretly wants happy endings as well. Despite the bleak Sunshine (which arguably had a happy ending for earth--if not the crew of the Icarus II) and his other grim fare, Boyle pulls out all stops for Slumdog Millionaire--including a Bollywood style dance number at the end.

His affinity for conveying the color and squalor of India was amazing. In that aspect, the film reminded me a lot of the brilliant City of God. Jamal's (a completely sympathetic Dev Patel) interactions with the police inspector (the always wonderful Irrfan Khan) was reminiscent of another favorite film of mine, The Usual Suspects. Indeed, the interrogation is merely a plot device to flashback to vignettes of Jamal's life as his memories provide the proof of how he knew the answers to the game show questions.

From witnessing his mother's brutal murder to landing in a so-called orphanage run by a character who makes Dickens' Fagin look like Mother Theresa, to losing and then finding and then losing and finding again the love of his life, Jamal weaves a colorful and complex tapestry as he relates his tale. Unlike the tapestry woven by Verbal Kint in The Usual Suspects, Jamal tells the truth.

Boyle's unique sense of style is evident throughout. The juxtaposition of tense game show drama as Jamal sweats it out under the lights against to his torture at the police station, draws us into the story of the 18 year-old orphan from Mumbai poised to win the top prize on India's version of the ubiquitous game show. It doesn't hurt that all the actors and acting is top notch, the visuals and editing are sublime and the soundtrack completely enhances the viewing experience.

I'm happy to see it's up for four Golden Globe awards. Perhaps that will raise the film's profile so that it justifiably gets the audience it deserves. As of now, this little gem hasn't earned what the pitiful dreck of Marley and Me made during its opening weekend.

Talk about a slum dog!

Real Life "Heroes"

While Hiro and company have been on hiatus, I happened to read a great article in a recent issue of Rolling Stone magazine by "normal" (and I use that term loosely) folk who have been inspired by comic book superheroes. Unlike Tim Kring, who channeled his comic book fetish into a hit NBC show, these people actually pull on a pair of tights and go out and fight crime.

Sounds like the plot of a Ben Stiller movie, right?

It is pretty comical, but just when you're about to write the assorted characters off as crazy or weirdos playing dress-up, the article manages to showcase the generosity, philanthropy and just plain good-heartedness of the "superheroes."

Best Line EVER

In an online discussion at washingtonpost.com, Neil Patrick Harris gave the perfect answer to a chatter who asked:

"So what do you think happened to Doogie? Did he grow up, buy a Porsche and start a family practice in the suburbs?"

Harris' response:

"He probably developed an addiction to painkillers and wanders around with a cane at some hospital somewhere..."

Hysterical.

I thought my brother David who is a fan of both shows would get a kick out of that...

Turning Over a Fresh Page...and a New Leaf?

It's January 1st. Time to clear out the old and make way for the new: fresh starts, new beginnings, changed plans and different paths.

For the week until we relapse back into same-old, same-old.

Before I set my intentions for 2009, let's look back and see how I did in 2008:

1. Make more money - I succeeded here, but I'm also working way more hours. Sigh.

2. Find a new place to live - Almost crossed this one off the list, but unfortunately I'm back to square one. Hopefully I'll be able to cross it off my 2009 list soon, but I break another 2009 resolution: "Don't kill obnoxious neighbor."

3. Get out and meet more people - Well, if the people from my new job count, then I've aced this resolution. Unfortunately I spend so much time working I don't have time to hang with any people other than my co-workers.

4. Read more - I managed an average of a book a month (even more!) for a while there. I need to find a way to squeeze this back into my schedule. I've only managed a handful of pages of Anathem so far...

So for 2009:

1. Find a new quiet place to live in Santa Monica SOON!

2. Accumulate less STUFF - I'm going to try to recycle more and buy used (especially furniture and appliances) wherever possible. It will be hard to scale back my clothing habit (I think I've given or thrown away more clothes than most people wear over a lifetime...), but I'm definitely going to work towards buying less.

3. Be a better friend - I have some good people in my life, but haven't been all that great at keeping in touch. I'm going to try to do better in 2009.

What are your goals for this brand new year?