Friday, November 9, 2007

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

I was given an amazing gift today. It was rare, precious and very costly. It wasn't diamonds or pearls or a Monet or a first edition literary masterpiece. In fact, it wasn't anything that could be bought in a store.

It was an apology.

I was stunned to receive it. I don't know how many times people have wronged me--whether it be by neglect, ignorance, disrespect or generally trampling upon my feelings. But I can count the number of times I have received an apology on one hand. Maybe two.

But it was a gift to receive the one I got today. It was heartfelt and truly remorseful. Not one of those, "Well I'm sorry you feel that way!" passive-aggressive non-apologies. Although this one came from a very tearful and sorrowful person, it brought me such joy. I hope it was a relief to her as well. I cannot begin to express the weight that was lifted off me. I know if I was I bigger person--a better person, I'd be turning the other cheek. But I'm more than a little "an eye for an eye" for my own good. So while (insert whiny childish voice here) "she started it," I was burdened with resentment, revenge fantasies and rage. Yeah, yeah--it's all very "nyah, nyah--I know you are but what am I?!!!"

But in an instant that was all released--and I felt no more animosity towards this person. Just forgiveness, compassion--and even love. And a great sense of calmness and peace.

So thank you so much for being strong and brave and mature enough to say you were sorry. It was such a beautiful gift.

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