Philip B. Changes Hollie's Life

This is how awesome I am: I set the gorgeous and talented Hollie up with some Philip B. hair products to review.

Last week she announced to me, "Philip B has changed my life!"

Wow. Now I'm jealous.

Ah well...at least my blog gets a review out of it!

"My hair loves Stella. Okay, actually my hair loves Philip B but it loves Stella for bringing Philip into my life. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Rewind to about two months ago. The lovely Stella asked if I wanted to receive a complimentary scalp treatment and blow out courtesy of Philip B. Due to some sort of miscommunication with the company, my treatment was canceled. As an apology, they offered to send me some products. I left feeling disappointed but the products they sent me were the best apology ever.

Seriously, ladies, my days of Head and Shoulders and Pantene Pro-V are over. I am a convert. A high end, shampoo loving convert.

My favorite product is the Russian Amber Imperial Shampoo. It’s like washing your hair with magic. It smells like heaven and cotton candy and love, with its mixture of Shea butter, rosemary and other yumminess. It goes on so smoothly and the second you rinse it off, your hair is thanking you by looking effortlessly beautiful. It retails for $140 so I treat myself with it once a week. It’s like my own mini spa vacation for my hair.

The peppermint and avocado volumizing and clarifying shampoo I use almost daily. I have always had a weird sort of build up on my hair and other clarifying shampoos tended to make it really dry or do nothing at all but this completely balances it out and it has a light, sweet scent.

The Lightweight Deep Conditioning Rinse is equally fantastic. I’m a sporadic conditioner but it’s great to use once a week to get my hair really soft and manageable.

The Katira Masque is one of the best treatments I’ve ever used. It’s most effective if you comb it in and either let it dry naturally or blow dry and then rinse clean.

The recommended treatment goes like this:

1. Peppermint and Avocado Shampoo - let set for one to three minutes and rinse
2. The Russian Amber Imperial Shampoo - Same as above
3. Use the Deep conditioner or Katira Masque or both

I’ve tried the treatment and it really does leave your hair looking like you just left a salon. I KNOW it sounds like the Philip B people have brainwashed me but this stuff is just really that good. I’m so impressed with these products; I want to shout it from the rooftops. As I’ve said before on Stella’s blog, I don’t usually buy into the more expensive products are better but in this case I’ll have to say they most certainly are.

The only product I wasn’t crazy about was the PH Restorative Detangling Toning Mist. I tried it once but it contains Apple Vinegar and the smell (for me) is simply unbearable. Being extremely fair skinned, I suffered numerous sunburns as a child and my mother’s vinegar baths came flashing back. I’m not even sure how it worked because I was so busy trying to get rid of the smell. But if you don’t mind the scent of vinegar, definitely give it a shot.

As a huge fan of these products, I now find myself rationing. I’ll alternate these shampoos with my old standbys. But who knows when it runs out, I may find myself unable to leave without Philip B.

Thanks again Stella for this fantastic discovery.

As if Hollie's fabulous mane of hair could be any more beautiful! Heaven, cotton candy and love? Sigh. I think I might have to check out Philip B myself.

Desperate Housewives - Season Finale

The two-hour season finale of Desperate Housewives was actually two one hour episodes. It featured the return of Edie (as one of Dave's hallucinations) and more importantly the return of Lily Tomlin as McCluskey's sister Roberta.

M.J. survived and the writers did a bit to try and rehabilitate Dave's reputation. But instead of being killed by the crash he set up to punish Susan, he actually survived and is back in a mental institution.

Cliffhangers for next season: Lynette's pregnancy and how it will affect the Scavo's future/marriage, Karl and Bree's hot affair and who was it that Mike married at the end of the show? I'm guessing Susan given that passionate kiss they shared after the drama with Dave was over.

Gabby's dealing with a mini-me in the form of the teen-aged granddaughter of Miss Patti--I mean Carlos' Aunt Connie--who she and Carlos take in when Aunt Connie becomes too ill to continue caring for her. Actually, Ana combines the bad sides of Gabby and former DH demon seed Kayla. No doubt she'll wreak havoc on the Solis marriage before she's eventually put out to pasture.

In addition to horrendous hairstyles, Felicity Huffman has had to suffer through the Susan Mayerization of her character this season. I mean, seriously--has anyone been more annoying than Lynette lately? A couple of weeks ago, she's telling Tom he can do whatever he wants since she's got a nice, cushy job and this week she's sabotaging his attempt to go back to school because learning to speak Mandarin is frivolous?

Who cares? He was hanging out with Gabby's garden club before. Although one doesn't need to attend a university to learn a language. No doubt he could have taken an Adult Ed or community college course or two.

Best line of the night: Lynette to nurse who refused to tell her the test results, "If it's cancer and I find out you knew, I won't be dying alone."

I don't really care who Mike ended up marrying (if it's Susan again, he deserves what he gets...), but the Karl and Bree affair should make it worthwhile to tune in next season. And note to Marc Cherry: more Bob and Lee!

Star Trek

I was a bit trepidatious about seeing the new Star Trek today. Not about whether or not J.J. Abrams and company would adhere to canon, but given its box office popularity I was afraid I'd be dealing with crowds.

Of course, even in desolate movie theaters I have the ability to attract unwelcome neighbors. You may recall my ongoing run-ins with a movie-going geezer who continually managed to plant his hunched-over carcass right in front of me on a number of occasions.

Of course this was at the Avco in Westwood, so I thought I'd be safe seeing Star Trek in Santa Monica. And I lucked out--the 10:50 am showing had maybe a dozen people in the audience. The lights went down and we were "treated" to a series of lame trailers for future action-adventure movies including Michael Bay's deafening addition to the Transformers franchise and the inexplicable G.I. Joe.

G.I. Joe? Really? Seriously folks, it's only a matter of time until we get movies featuring Cap'n Crunch and the Trix Rabbit.

So, as I'm settling into the movie, who should shuffle in ten minutes into the flick but the hunched-over geezer! I kid you not! And of course, he proceeds to plant himself in the seat directly in front of me!!!

Note to Geezer: STOP STALKING ME!!!

He shuffled out ten minutes later, but what the @#$%?!!!

Back to the movie review: You got to give J.J. and company credit for keeping the action going. Never a dull moment in the movie--although the non-stop action did get a bit tedious at times. I'm thinking maybe the writers took into account the fact that most movie-goers know these characters well enough to dispense with the character development. But I could have used the break.

As far as the characters go, everyone did a pretty good job of inhabiting the well-loved icons of TOS. Chris Pine channeled Kirk's swagger, Zachary Quinto mastered Spock's arched eyebrow (although rumor has it he had to have his fingers taped together to manage his salute) and the rest of the cast did a respectable job. My favorite was Simon Pegg who managed to not only inhabit Montgomery Scott, but make the character completely his own in a criminally brief amount of screen time.

On the other end of the spectrum was Anton Yelchin as Pavel Chekov. While it would have been hard for the young actor to duplicate Walter Koenig's dark attraction, the fact that Yelchin has as much charisma as a hyperactive cockapoo didn't help. And what were the hair stylists thinking with that frizzy perm? Yelchin's look as Charlie Bartlett was more similar to Chekov's than that!

Makeup can't be let off the hook either--Gaila the green Orion girl looked like Elphaba's understudy in Wicked than an alien life form. On the plus side was the casting of Karl Urban as Leonard McCoy. Who knew "Bones" was such a hottie?

The biggest "what the @#$%?" for me was the "have your cake and eat it, too" choice to ignore the established backstory (known to Trekkies or Trekkers or whatever they call themselves as "canon") and yet allegedly remain faithful to that backstory. And how can they do that you ask? Simple: time travel.

See, everything happened just the way the Trekkies established canon proscribes, but due to a blackhole (or wormhole), a vindictive renegade Romulean changed the past. I guess knowing J.J. Abrams love of time travel, this was to be an expected move. And while it allowed Leonard Nimoy to join the cast playing a near 200 year-old Spock (and looking every single day of it!), I'm not sure it really accomplished improving the story.

In fact, Abrams and the writers as much as concede that fact with a running joke about how taking certain shortcuts are the equivalent of cheating. To me, it was sort of like the Republicans rewriting history by pulling the "what did she know and when" routine on Nancy Pelosi as a smokescreen against their administration's complicity in using torture interrogation techniques.

This isn't to say that the reboot of the Star Trek franchise was torture--it was a mostly entertaining flick. But I can't see using time travel to avoid staying true to the characters' backstory necessarily as an improvement.

Cutting the Cord?

A recent article in the Washington Post discussed the tenuous future of television.

I've recently caught up with season three of Dexter and season two of Eli Stone compliments of CastTV. Both series I wasn't able to watch during their regular season, so I was grateful for the opportunity to watch them on my schedule.

But cutting the cord? Not quite there yet.

For one, the quality of the digital video on CastTV was mediocre at best. And there's always the inescapable fact that some series just beg to be watched real time (such as the series finale of LOST) so as to be on the same page as everyone else at the "water cooler."

As for Eli Stone, who I was introduced to via the season one DVD, all I have to say is--Damn, that's a great show! Sadly I don't think it's coming back and I'm going to miss it. Jonny Lee Miller, whose claim to fame heretofore was being married to Angelina Jolie, is completely adorable and what a great American accent!

How come Brits do American accents better than American actors (Gwyneth and Renee, I'm talking to you!)?

I still haven't been able to watch the last two episodes: "Tailspin" and "Flight Path." Anyone know where I can find them?

Ugly Betty and The Office - In the Stars and Company Picnic

Ugh. Another episode featuring whiny Matt--who apparently in addition to being a spoiled, rich, sex addict is also a dilettante. His gnat-sized attention span threatens to derail Marc and Betty's shot to win the Y.E.T.I. final project challenge.

Due to a hiring freeze at Mode, both Marc and Betty's future hang in the balance with the outcome of the project. Daniel apologizes to Betty telling her, "I know you have bigger aspirations than booking my tans."

Unfortunately Matt seems to be more preoccupied with watching YouTube videos with Amanda than participating in the project. Marc wants to kick him out of the group telling Betty, "It's a dog-eat-dog world and Matt's looking a lot like lunch."

Matt confesses to Betty that he's lost his passion for publishing but Mrs. Hartley shows up to get Betty to convince him to finish Y.E.T.I. With access to the planetarium for their project's photo shoot hanging in the balance, Betty manages to get Matt to finish out the last week of the project. But when Matt witnesses his mother mouthing a "thank you" to Betty, he freaks out and walks out on her and the project.

He seems to do a lot of that.

He comes back to apologize to Betty--and present a peace offering in the form of singer Adele, star of the photo shoot. As he cuts in on Daniel he tells Betty, "If I step on your toes it's because I'm a terrible dancer," to which Betty replies, "If I step on your toes it's probably because I'm still mad at you."

The Mode wedding issue runs into some obstacles when Matt's dad, the not-so-silent-partner Cal Hartley, finds fault with Willie's layout. In between the blatant Cherry 7-Up Antioxidant product placement, he tells Willie that the dresses aren't "popping." He then solicits Claire's advice and puts her to work helping Willie.

Of course, the two end up fighting and Willie delivers an ultimatum to Cal Hartley telling him there are three things she doesn't do: "Collaboration, compromise and Claire--and believe me I chose the nice C there."

Claire gracefully bows out which leads Cal to appoint her Senior Vice President of Meade Publications--much to Willie's chagrin.

The Mode wedding issue causes a minor misunderstanding between Molly and Daniel when she thinks Daniel is proposing to her. Daniel then decides to make the proposal real and Molly accepts.

Best line from a gay Mode co-worker upon hearing the news about the impending nuptials:

"That is so great…that you're allowed to do that."

There is almost another upcoming wedding on the show when Ignacio proposes to Elena and she accepts--but Ignacio withdraws his proposal so that Elena can accept her dream job in California. And thanks to Betty, Molly and Daniel's wedding goes off without a hitch--but while she and Daniel pack for their honeymoon, she collapses on the bathroom floor.

Henry is back for the season finale (no doubt due to the cancellation of Harper's Island), so perhaps this is the end of the irritating Matt Hartley.

On The Office, Dunder-Mifflin has a company picnic so we got to see the return of Idris Elba as Charles and Amy Ryan as Holly Flax.

God, I've missed Holly. Maybe almost as much as Michael has--although he didn't go through with his plan to tell her that they are soul mates. You only have to watch the two of them together doing their lame SlumDunder-Mifflinaire routine where they inadvertently let slip that the Buffalo branch is closing down--while the entire branch sits in the audience--to know that the two belong together.

Sigh.

Speaking of soul mates, it looks like sweethearts Jim and Pam may be expecting. Pam, the Scranton branch's best volleyball player, gets injured in their grudge match against corporate. Dwight tries to stall for time while Jim takes her to a local hospital to get her ankle checked out.

Pam tries to rush the process while the nurse asks her a battery of questions. She asks if they can hurry this up because she has a game to get back to, to which the nurse replies, "Oh good 'cuz my next question is "Do you have a game to get back to?""



God, they're adorable!

LOST - The Incident

Okay that was definitely a "WOW" and a "Whoa!!!" of a season finale for LOST.

Jacob possesses Richard Alpert's (aka "Richardus") anti-aging powers. In fact, he was responsible for giving them to our guy-linered friend.

Jacob also seemed to play a part in bringing the Losties to the island. We saw him playing a small part in each of their lives prior to and after their fateful crash on the island. Oddly, Jacob gave a young reckless Katie Austen instructions to "Be good"--which of course she ignored. Conversely, Jacob provided a young, orphaned Sawyer the pen with which to write his poison pen letter to Mr. Sawyer (aka John Locke's conman daddy).

It was Sawyer's uncle who told the young James, "What's done is done," which evoked Daniel Faraday's "Whatever happened, happened."

Later, Jack tells Sawyer, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

Same thing, different words.

It wasn't a good name if your character's name started with a J: Jacob was stabbed by Ben and pushed into the fire by Locke (aka the smoke monster?), Juliet got sucked down the drill shaft by the electromagnetic energy field and John Locke--well, it turns out dead IS dead.

(It also wasn't a good night if your name was Sayid, Phil or if you were a Dharma extra...)

The episode opened with Jacob and an unknown rival. Their Cain and Abel relationship reminded me of the rivalry between Widmore and Ben--although it's probably the other way around. The Black Rock sails into view and man #2 (the credited name for Titus Welliver's character) remarks, "They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt."

"Do you have an idea how badly I want to kill you?" he asks Jacob. Apparently he's looking for a loophole, which seems to be that HE can't kill Jacob but someone else can. Is this the beginning of those rules that Ben and Widmore quibbled over? That someone else turns out to be Ben, who is set up first by the smoke monster in the form of Alex and later as the smoke monster in the form of John Locke.

The smoke monster as Locke also sets up Locke when he tells Richard to tell him he's gonna have to die. So it wasn't Locke controlling his own destiny--it was the smoke monster!

So is Jacob good and Smoky bad? You had to love Lapidus' response to Bram's assertion that they are the good guys (Ilana and company appear to be on "Team Jacob"), "In my experience the people who go out of their way to tell you they're the good guys are the bad guys."

Jacob seemed all calm and benevolent, but while it seemed he prevented Sayid from getting hit by the same car that killed Nadia, he did nothing to prevent Nadia's death. He makes cameo appearances after Jack's first major surgery, at Sun and Jin's wedding (offering a blessing in Korean--was it Jacob who taught Charlotte the language?), while Locke lay bleeding on the ground after being pushed out the window by his Daddy and following Hurley's release from prison. And he was after all played by a drug addict and wife abuser (of Dexter fame)...

In the "wrapping up loose ends department," we were reunited briefly with Rose, Bernard and Vincent who had been living quite peacefully in the jungle. When they hear of the latest Lostie drama, Rose remarks, "It's always something with you people."

It was confirmed that Eloise was pregnant (with Daniel). We saw Sun retrieve Charlie's ring which he left for Claire in Aaron's cradle. How Pierre Chang lost his arm during the Incident. How Hurley came to have a guitar on the Ajira flight. Jack going all action hero on us (We knew he was good with a scapel--who knew he could handle a gun?) The Dharma van careening towards the Swan top support Jack in his mission was reminiscent of the season three finale.

And we got to see the fight that's been brewing since season one: the Jack and Sawyer smackdown.

For all the talk about a Juliet-Kate catfight, the two were pretty damned supportive of each other with Juliet backing Kate up to get off the sub and stop Jack and Kate trying desperately to keep Juliet from being sucked down the shaft. But that tragic event was ultimately the key to completing Jack's plan: a severely injured Juliet finding a rock and striking the bomb until it explodes.

Best lines of the night:

John: You mind if I ask you a question?
Ben: I'm a Pisces.

Locke to Richard upon arriving at the statue: "Well it's a wonderful foot, Richard--but what does it have to do with Jacob?"

Sawyer to Jack: "I don't speak "destiny.""

Juliet to Sawyer post smackdown: "I'm glad you finally got it out of your system."

Ben to "John" re: Jacob - "I lied. That's what I do."

Sun: What happened to the statue?
Ben: I don't know. It was like that when I got here.
Sun: Do you expect me to believe that?
Ben: Not really.

So, if the bomb worked then none of the casualties of last night's episode are dead, right? And what did Ilana mean about Frank Lapidus possibly being "a candidate?" Where was Desmond last night? And was that whole thing about Jacob spinning thread and weaving supposed to be a reference to Clotho, the Fate who spins the thread of life?

Eight long months, people. Until then, review the recap at Lostpedia, the screencaps at Dark UFO and Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney's Dueling Analyses at washingtonpost.com.

And perhaps post some theories of your own in the comments...

Twisted

Jaw-droppingly sick. I love it!

LOST: Season 5 finale is The Incident

This might be the last missive from George for a while. Aaaaccckkkk!!! I can't believe the LOST season finale is tonight. Whatever happens, you know it'll be a cliffhanger that will keep us guessing until it returns next year:

Hello LOSTies,

Wasn't "Follow The Leader" one of the best set up episodes??

To remind you of what happened we'll start in 1977. Daniel is dead and Eloise realizes that he WAS telling the truth about being her son, especially after seeing her handwriting in his notebook.

After Jack and Kate get captured by Charles, Eloise and Jack strike a deal...to work together to detonate Jughead, essentially completing Daniel's work. Kate couldn't stand the thought of blowing up a bomb so she returned to DHARMAviile, while Sayid replaced her on the crew to Jughead.

Pierre began the evacuation procedures after believing the group was from future about "The Incident". Miles, from the bushes, saw his mom and himself being evacuated. Saywer made a deal with Radzinsky, and he and Juliet made it on the departing sub in return for a map leading to the Hostiles camp. Kate is also thrown into the departing sub and the sub leaves the island.

Jughead's location is right under DHARMAville and Jack, Sayid, Eloise, and Richard get to the chamber where it is located.

In 2007/8, Sun confronts Richard about Jin and Richard confesses to seeing them all die in front of his eyes. Using her grief and the Others' lack of Jacob knowledge, Locke sets out to confront Jacob on how to get everyone back. Ben begins to set some doubt in Richard's head over Locke's leadership and intentions. Meanwhile, once they have started their journey, Locke admits to Ben his true plans..to kill Jacob.

At 8 p.m. tonight there will be a recap episode called "LOST: A Journey In Time"

This leads up to tonight's Season 5 finale "The Incident" at 9 p.m..

So what will we get tonight??

• We will get Jack and group trying to move the bomb to the Swan with time running out.
• We will have Radzinsky pushing for the excavation of the Swan site.
• We will have further clarifications of Locke's plan to kill Jacob (this includes a shout-out to Smokey's appearance as Alex)
• We will find out the fates of Rose and Bernard
• We will see the mysterious box that Ilana and Bram had on Hydra Island when they knocked out Frank.
• We will see Roger attempt revenge
• We will see the following characters: _A___A, __M, and __C___. We will meet someones Uncle Doug, too.
• We will also ____N with someone shocking.

Can Jack stop "The Incident", thereby preventing 815 from ever crashing? Will Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate drink the OJ on the sub? Will Juliet pull out all stops to keep her man from Kate? Will there be a common thread amongst the main characters no one saw coming? Will we find out what lies in the shadows of the statue? Will we see the statue? Will we see Jacob? And with a cliffhanger unlike any other cliffhanger in the history of LOST, tonight will be one episode we'll be talking about for 8 LOOOONG months.

And look out for these two men, Mark Pellegrino (ex-Paul Bennett, Dexter) & Titus Welliver (ex-Silas Adams, Deadwood):

So we will get to see what happened with Rose and Bernard. Awesome!

There is now officially a holiday for everything...

Today is "Root Canal Appreciation Day."

I kid you not.

The only thing I'm appreciating is the fact I've never had to endure a root canal (although I am fond of using the phrase, "I'd rather have a root canal..." when referring to odious experiences like shopping at Wal-Mart or watching a Pauly Shore movie).

I wonder if there's a Hallmark card to commemorate this event...

Desperate Housewives - Marry Me a Little

Loved the noir homage in last night's episode of Desperate Housewives. Karl Mayer as Bogart and Bree Hodge as Bacall.

Pretty clever.

Karl's plan to rob Bree's home in order to conceal her possessions from community property almost works. Bree's fussiness and insisting to Karl, "Wipe your feet first. I just had the carpets cleaned," leads him to retort later, "Man, it must be stressful being you."

When Bree and Orson arrive back to a ransacked house, Bree is worried but Orson's response to her timid, "We've been robbed," is "It wasn't me. I swear!" She gets cold feet when Orson gallantly arranges to replace a Venetian mask for her, but Karl reassures her with a little "Here's looking at you, kid" speech. Bree asks if he says the same thing to all his clients, to which Karl replies, "Hell, no. I get some real uggos in here. You know the kind who are gonna die alone and get eaten by their cats."

That Karl. Such a charmer!

Karl's scheme is derailed when Bree's storage unit calls her cell phone and Orson answers it.

Susan and Jackson's sham marriage almost hits the skids as well when Susan realizes that she won't be receiving Mike's alimony payments. Mike is inspired (for better or worse) to propose to Katherine--and although she is suspicious of his motives, she accepts. When Susan confides her dilemma, Katherine isn't about to let Susan's wedding get called off and thus affect hers. So she texts Susan pretending to be Mike and agreeing to continue the alimony.

Hmmm--wondering if she's gonna to pay it, too?

It's a moot point because Dave Williams overheard the whole conversation and arranges for the INS to pick Jackson up just as he and Susan are on their way to the courthouse. That way there's no witness around to put him at the scene of the crime for the nightclub fire and death of Dr. Heller.

Tom experiences the same ageism that Lynette faced earlier this season and, after hearing the secret of a former classmate's youthful appearance, decides plastic surgery is the answer. Lynette tries to dissuade him by introducing him to Bruce from Accounting who recently had a little work done. "Really?," says Tom startled, "Have they finished?"

"If you're unsatisfied with your looks someday you're gonna be unsatisfied with mine," Lynette tells him when shocking him with Bruce doesn't work.

Gabby runs into an old friend at a soup kitchen and needs to find out how the once wealthy acquaintance ended up with nothing. She is warned by Frann that despite coming back from the brink of financial disaster, she's not immune to losing it all.

With Jackson out of the picture, Dave's plan to kill M.J. as revenge against Susan is back on track. Although I can't help but wonder why that wasn't the plan to begin with. Does he really think Mike would have been more devastated by Katherine's death than the loss of his young son?

And Mike is still pining for Susan. Poor Katherine!

Oh well--maybe she'll hook up with Jackson. And if so, maybe she'll trim his bangs. That piece of hair in his eyes was bugging me last night...

Cat-Man-Do

We watched this YouTube video while eating pizza last night. Anyone who has or has ever had a cat will appreciate it. (It's even funnier with the sound off...)

Rachel Getting Married

Watched this flick on Pay-per-view with Dave and Kat this evening. Two things:

1. Anne Hathaway definitely deserved the Oscar nod for her performance. When I saw trailers for the movie I kept thinking to myself, hasn't this movie been made already? Rachel Getting Married, Margot at the Wedding? But Hathaway's performance as a troubled young woman who gets a weekend pass from rehab to attend her sister's wedding is mesmerizing.

She's a perfect balance of self-absorbed drama queen and fragile vulnerability. The whole cast does an incredible job.

2. Anyone about to plan a wedding should watch this and then elope. Unless you're a complete masochist or bridezilla, this film perfectly captures the overwrought dysfunction inherent in most weddings.

It's definitely worth putting on your Netflix list.

Tossers

Went to see Danny Grossman's short film Tossers at Mockfest this afternoon.

Very amusing.



It was followed by a film that stretched the definition of "short film" (meaning it was interminable) and "mockumentary." Prior to the screening, Steve was joking that these festivals often include a genre known as "experimental." But that would be more accurately known as "failed experiment."

So when the title card flashed the writer/director's vanity card reading [INSERT NAME HERE] Experimental, I was wary. Turns out Steve's assessment was correct. The conceit was to take two actors, give them a backstory of married guy chasing his fed-up girlfriend on a train from L.A. to New York City, have them improv fights in front of real people and draw those people into the fictional story.

No a bad idea but it could have used some ruthless editing as it dragged on FOREVER. It takes five days to travel from Los Angeles to New York on train and that's how long it felt like watching the film. My cohorts slipped out one by one, but I stayed until the bitter end. Well, almost the bitter end. With an end card that dedicated the film to "patience," the act of endurance, I couldn't help but wonder if the screening was an elaborate joke on the audience who suffered through it.

Ugly Betty and The Office -The Born Identity and Cafe Disco

As predicted Willie did indeed fake the DNA results and William was Christina's son.

Willie brings William to the office to manipulate Hartley at the presentation. It works as Hartley exclaims, "I love babies! Maybe because they can't ask me for money." When he goes to ogle William, the baby is missing.

Christina and Stuart kidnapped William because Christina is convinced that William is hers. Betty unwittingly becomes an accomplice and then Claire Meade gets involved as they try to arrange for another DNA test. But before they can have one performed, the cops show up and arrest Christina and Stuart.

Betty attempts to con Willie into admitting that William isn't her baby--which fails, but her warning that Willie cannot possibly keep the lie up for much longer does work. Willie manages to spin things so she looks like the selfless hero, but without William as Bradford's heir Claire and Daniel are poised to get rid of Willie once and for all. Willie, however, has covered her bases by admitting her deviousness to Hartley and getting him to back her.

'Cuz Willie is a shark while Daniel is a bunny.

So not surprisingly Willie will remain to thwart Daniel and Claire and add her special brand of haughtiness to the show, but Christina is heading back to Scotland. Too bad, but at least we didn't have to see skeevy Matt last night. But I'm wondering what the heck has been up with Molly?

Best lines of the show--an exchange between Willie and Marc as usual:

Willie: Marc, put on your game face.
(Marc looks fierce)
Willie: I said your "game face" not your gay face.
Marc: (pouting) Same face!

And Suzuki St. Pierre's rendering of Christina and Stuart's baby twenty years in the future as a paunchy, pasty drunk was too hysterical.

Michael creates a little getaway in the former Michael Scott Paper Company location so he can dance and drink espresso. He tries to get the rest of the office to loosen up, but they are resistant. "Charles really did a number on these guys," he theorizes and invites them to take a break and drink coffee and dance.

"It's a combo disco coffee bar?" Phyllis asks. "Cafe Disco," Erin dubs it. Still, no-one wants to take Michael up on "All you can eat espresso" except for Kevin. When Angela comes down to retrieve him, Michael tells her, "This is a no-work zone, Please respect the lei!"

Phyllis is attracted by the music and tries to get her husband Bob to join her for a dance, but is thwarted by his secretary. She goes to Cafe Disco anyway, but ends up throwing out her back while dancing with Michael.

Michael and Dwight manage to get her back up to the office, where Michael is met with disapproval from the staff. "You all took a life here today. The life of the party!" he tells them as he storms into his office.

Meanwhile Dr. Dwight starts to attend to Phyllis using massage techniques that were used on Schrute race horses. He notes that Phyllis grinds her teeth. "It's the most annoying thing...like children singing Christmas carols!"

Sent to dismantle Cafe Disco by Michael, Erin turns on the music again and starts dancing with Kelly. Soon, Cafe Disco is filled with people. Upstairs, Michael mournfully tells Creed, "Café Disco is dead, but I can still hear music in my head..." "I hear it too, boss," Creed replies.

Michael goes downstairs to find Cafe Disco jumping and Kelly and Andy having a dance-off. The homage to Flashdance was particularly amusing although it would have been even funnier if ANDY had been doing the Jennifer Beals impression rather than Kelly.

Creed gives Michael a mini disco ball from his car to hang up telling him, "I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now." Phyllis and Dwight show up and Phyllis asks him if he'll dance with her. "Sure. You need to move to reduce lactic acid buildup plus this song is fantastic!" Dwight answers. But then Bob Vance arrives to dance with his wife. Even Jim and Pam, who had planned to sneak off to Ohio and elope, are drawn to the cheesy delights of Cafe Disco.

Michael still can't get Angela to join in. "I just don't like the general spirit of music," she insists. But as Michael sits next to her, he can't help but note that she's tapping her foot along with the rhythm of the music.

LOST - Follow the Leader

It was an action-packed episode of LOST last night. Both Sawyer and Jack had the $@#% beat of them (although in Sawyer's case, I'm pretty sure there's still a lot of $#@% left in the wise-cracking former con man...), Jack and Eloise headed for the bomb, Dharma women and children headed for the hills (Ann Arbor, actually...) and John Locke took his people on a Pilgrimage to see Jacob.

It was heartening to see younger Eloise a bit broken up about shooting her son. Between recognizing the weird man who told her to bury the bomb 20 years ago and her handwriting in his journal, she is more than ready to hear Jack's explanation. When Jack explains that they're from the future and everything can be fixed by detonating the bomb, Eloise asks Kate, "Does he know what he's talking about?" "He thinks he does," replies Kate grimly.

On the way to the bomb, Kate decides she no longer wants to participate but instead wants to return to Dharma-ville to warn them of the impending blast. One of the Others is about to shoot her, but is shot instead by none other than Sayid! Yay--he's back! What timing, huh?

Jack tries to convince Kate to stay telling her, "This is our destiny." But Kate incredulously replies, "Do you know who you sound like?" and leaves. Sayid, however, decides to follow Jack on the mission even after finding out his attempt to kill young Ben Linus was thwarted by Kate and Sawyer. He tells Jack that either his plan will fix things or put them out of their misery.

What an optimist!

Jin, Miles and Hugo head for the beach but are stopped by Pierre Chang who asks if they are really from the future. "Dude, that's ridiculous!" Hurley lies. But after being grilled by Chang as to his birthdate, whether or not he fought in the Korean War or who is currently (in 1977) President, Hurley caves admitting, "Alright dude, I'm from the future."

Miles also admits that he is Chang's son and is able to convince him to evacuate the island. He then witnesses how his Dad had to practically force his Mom onto the sub in order to save their lives. The three also see Sawyer and Juliet entering the sub which leads Hurley to remark, "Sawyer always has a plan."

Sawyer's plan: "We'll buy Microsoft....and we'll bet on the Cowboys in the '78 Superbowl. We'll be rich." Taking a last look at the island before entering the sub, Sawyer says, "Good riddance." But the sweet moment of togetherness between Sawyer and Juliet is ruined by the last minute entrance by Kate--who upon returning to Dharma-ville was exiled off the island by Horace.

Given next week's preview, it appears that neither Sawyer nor Kate make it to Ann Arbor...

Thirty years later in 2007, John Locke returns to the Others camp with the carcass of a boar. Richard is a bit surprised to see Locke--but even more startled to see Sun and Ben. Ben explains to Sun that Richard is a sort of "Advisor" and that he's had that position for a very, very, very long time.

Sun approaches Richard and shows him the Dharma photo given to her by Christian Shepherd. She asks Richard if he was here in 1977 and Richard tells her that he recognizes the people in the photo because "I watched them all die."

So we've got two competing time lines: one where Jack and company try to detonate the bomb and erase the crash of Flight 815 and everything that happened afterwards, and one where John Locke and company attempt to stop Jack and company from dying in 1977.

I think.

Anyway, Locke was especially "twinkly" last night. And both Ben and Richard seemed a bit off-balance because of it. He tells Richard that they need to go on an errand and tells Ben he's coming with them. "Afraid I'll stage a coup?" Ben taunts. Locke is unruffled.

Later he tells Richard that he wants him to take him to Jacob. "That's not how it works!" Ben insists. Locke is calmly insistant.

He then directs Richard to approach the injured man coming out of the jungle and to remove the bullet from his leg and to tell him he has to bring everyone who was on the plane with him back and he may have to die to do it. Ben is astounded that Locke set up his own future. "This must be quite the out of body experience," he says to Locke and asks how he knew the precise timing of the encounter.

"The island told me," John replies serenely.

Back at camp, John gathers the Others and invites them to go with him to meet Jacob. Now both Richard and Ben are freaked out. "I'm starting to think John Locke is going to be trouble," Richard confides to Ben. "Why do you think I tried to kill him?" Ben responds.

Always the manipulator, Ben confides to John that Richard "has concerns" as the Others make their Pilgrimage to Jacob. Locke is amused. Ben asks if he really thinks Jacob will reunite him with the O6. "I'm not interested in being reunited with my people," Locke says sanguinely. A confused Ben asks, "Why are we going to Jacob?"

"So I can kill him," John calmly replies.

We've got a recap show followed by the two-hour season finale next week. Until then, check out the recap at Lostpedia, the screencaps at Dark UFO and Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney's Dueling Analyses at washingtonpost.com.

LOST: Who's gonna FOLLOW THE LEADER??

LOST guru George Yuhba breaks it down for us as we head towards the season finale:

"I have this condition" - Daniel Faraday to Charles Widmore.

Hello LOSTies,

This condition would be memory loss for the genius. And the only solution is mommie dearest sending him to the island knowing that she will kill him. Such a sad tale as Eloise pushes her son to focus on math and science to hopefully one day correct her past indiscretions, but since whatever happened, happened Daniel still gets shot and killed. But not before he tells Jack and Kate about his Variable theory that they MAY be able to change the past. For that to happen they would need to blow up the hydrogen bomb, Jughead, which Eloise buried in 1954 somewhere on the island.

Over in DHARMAville, Jack/Kate/Daniel's escape leads Radzinsky straight to Sawyer's house where he discovers Phil tied up and gagged in the closet. Sawyer and Juliet surrender to the men, while Hurley and Miles start their escape plan. It is revealed that Penny is Daniel's half sister, Charles Widmore is Daniel's daddy! Also, in 2008, Eloise visits Penny while she awaits word on Desmond's surgery to remove the bullet that Ben put inside of him. Desmond makes it out of surgery and reminds Penny he will not leave her. Eloise pulls a Chris Brown and slaps Charles when confronted with the fact she sent Daniel to the island.

Other key things:
- Juliet is glad to help Kate leave by giving her the code to the sonic fence.
- Daniel gives young Charlotte his ominous warning.
- Daniel confronts Pierre with the truth: he's from the future and he needs to evacuate the island.
- Miles denies being from the future or Pierre's son when Daniel is trying to make his case.

So where is everyone and with whom going into the final stretch here:

2008
USA - Desmond, Penny, Charlie, Eloise, Charles, Walt
Hydra Island - Ilana, Bram, Frank, Ajira survivors
LOST Island - Locke, Sun, Ben, Richard, the Others

1977
DHARMAville - Sawyer, Juliet, Radzinsky, Phil, Horace
Outskirts of DHARMAville - Pierre, Hurley, Jin, Miles
Jungle - Dead Daniel, Jack, Kate, Eloise, Richard, the Hostiles
Missing in Jungle - Sayid

And now on to tonight..."Follow The Leader"

With the finale next week looming, the best way to describe tonight's episode is the lead up to the events in the finale. It's setting the stage, it's placing people and events. The name of tonight is appropriate as the groups form out and seek leadership on their next roles in the story. In 2008, Locke will meet up with the Others and reclaim his role as their leader. He will take them on a trek across the island. For one it will mean hope, for another it may mean death.

Ben will have a hard time accepting Locke as his superior, which may lead John to give Ben a fateful assignment. In 1977, the fallout from Sawyer and Juliet's deception will lead to a bargaining chip that could lead to something positive. Meanwhile, Pierre and Eloise come to their own conclusions, which sets into motion two major events...two decisions that may cost everyone everything. For one group it could mean salvation, for another it could mean rewriting history. And anything can happen....

Stick around folks, because next week is the season finale of LOST...

Wondering: If they manage to erase the past and Flight Oceanic 815 never crashes, what will happen for next season?

Technologically Incompatible

The Washington Post had a great article the other day about how today's overwhelming variety of communication modes can derail a romance. As someone who prefers email and blogging to texting or Twitter, I can see the dilemma. Says writer Monica Hesse:

"Each form of communication has its own followers and rules, which means dating today is a law of inverse proportions: As ways to communicate increase, the chances you will date someone who speaks your technological language decrease."

I once had a writing partnership break down over IM (to be fair, he was a world class @$$hole, but the technology didn't help any...). Have any of you experience technological incompatibility?

[Marc] Houston...would never, for example, date someone who refused to text. And someone who was still on MySpace instead of Facebook? "Oh, that would be an automatic reject," Houston says. "It's kind of like a unibrow." He pauses. "Maybe that's why I'm single."

The Hulu Awards

I was one of the judges for The Hulu Review's Hulu Awards and now it's time for the winners!

I got to present the award for Best Show of the Seventies. Check it out over on Matt's blog!

Publish Post

Desperate Housewives - Bargaining

Poor M.J. The six year old has become a pawn in multiple schemes. From Katherine using him to raise the marriage issue with Mike to Bree bribing him with macaroons so he will invite Evan Mayer to his sleepover, the kid is being manipulated right and left. Plus Dave is plotting his "accidental" drowning death on a sailboat trip he's invited Susan on.

And if that wasn't enough, Evan hit him with a dead squirrel to boot!

Katherine's scheme to get Mike talking about marriage doesn't end happily for her--he tells her, "I don't see myself getting married again."

Susan on the other hand will be walking down the aisle with Jackson. Only it's not what you think--or what she thought as she confessed to Jackson how lonely she was and how much she loved and missed him. Jackson needs to get married to keep from getting kicked out of the country and back to Canada due to his expired visa.

Hasn't this plotline been done before?

Jackson's return may redirect psychotic Dave Williams from his plan to off M.J. to Jackson instead. Of course, Dave doesn't realize that this is a marriage of convenience. Looks like Jackson would have been better being deported...

Dave's plan may be thwarted as the detectives investigating the nightclub fire are getting closer to the truth. They have learned that the identity of the dead body in the storage room is Dr. Heller. They haven't figured out the connection to Dave yet and are now focused on trying to find Jackson.

Bree's bribing M.J. had much better results: she was able to retain shark lawyer Karl Mayer--Susan's ex--to represent her in her divorce of Orson. She has to pretend that all is well with Orson in the meantime however. I'm glad Karl is back--he's a hoot. When Bree tells him that she's sure that news of her divorcing Orson comes as a shock. "Not really," Karl replies. "I've met him. The guy's a stiff."

Gaby is dealing with Carlos being awarded Latino Businessman of the Year and her six year-old Juanita wearing makeup. When Carlos and Gaby confront her, she tells them the girls at school told her she wasn't pretty enough to be former model Gaby's daughter.

Carlos decides that Gaby will go without makeup at the award dinner to prove to Juanita that beauty is only skin deep. "Yeah, once you see this skin without foundation you may want to rethink that!" Gaby tells him. Of course once they show up at the banquet, Gaby looks gorgeous even allegedly "without" makeup. She freaks out at being photographed without it and rushes into the ladies room to score some cosmetics.

She wrenches a makeup bag out of a germaphobic Asian woman's hand and when the woman threatens to call security, Gaby retorts "You know for a woman who has a purse full of dinner rolls you sure have some attitude!"

Although she looks stunning for the photo (she looked fine before), Juanita is disappointed. Later Gaby explains that she wants Juanita to explore other facets of herself rather than just being focused on her appearance.

Lynette and Tom are trying to reignite the passion in their marriage by having sex every night. But the schedule includes quickies at the office and Lynette falling asleep during one session. So Tom gets all pissed at Lynette and in his petulance, becomes almost as annoying as Susan Mayer. But he confesses to Lynette that the reason he is so adamant about sticking to their sex every day for thirty days plan is "because you are the only thing in my life that I'm passionate about."

Sweet, but sad.

One more episode left until the two-hour season finale. Anyone want to make some predictions?

Fast & Furious

At one point in Fast & Furious, Paul Walker's character Brian O'Connor remarks, "A lot has changed."

Well, no--not really.

Nothing much has changed other than dropping the "The" from the title and killing off one of the lead characters (it's not Vin or Paul, so relax people...) It's all about race scenes, chase scenes and cars, cars and more cars.

Call it "gearhead porn."

But even more than that, it's about "muscle" cars. Or muscle AND cars in the case of Vin Diesel--reprising his breakout role as Dom Toretto.

Diesel doesn't disappoint in the muscle department barely breaking a sweat as he holds an engine block poised perilously over a lead's head, dangles a potential informant out the window and punches the glass out of two car windows. He's a special effect all on his own and pretty much my reason for seeing the flick.

The opening set piece played numerous times on trailers and ads and yet it was still damn thrilling to witness. Basically it's Dom's gang up to their old tricks--this time hijacking petro trucks. Sure there are big plot holes that you could drive a semi through, but who cares when you're having this much fun? The final chase scene is pretty much a demolition derby--it's a testosterone filled lovefest of over the top action.

Kudos to director Justin Lin for filming and editing the action sequences so that they are actually thrilling to watch rather than just a confused muddle.

What's not to like?

Kinesys Performance Sunscreen

While I am pretty religious about putting sunscreen on my face, I often am lax about making sure my body is adequately protected. Partly because it's such a drag to put it on. My face is a fairly small and finite area. The rest of my body requires more of a time investment.

But I know I should be making sure my hands, chest, neck and legs have good coverage. I've tried those spray-on sunscreens thinking they'd be more efficient than squeezing a bottle or tube and massaging it in but the results were messy and more time consuming than traditional application methods.

I jumped at the opportunity to test out Kinesys Performance Sunscreen not only for its spray on application but also for the fact that it provides photo-stable broad spectrum protection (Parsol 1789) and is oil, alcohol, PABA and preservative-free. The sunscreen diffuses in a thin film, rather than a gloppy mess. It feels a bit slick going on, but dries and absorbs quickly and easily.

And if that weren't enough, Kinesys uses 100% recyclable materials, is cruelty-free and carbon neutral.

Summer's coming and, as George Harrison would say, "Here Comes the Sun." Kinesys offers a great option for protecting your skin from sunburn and skin cancer.

Ugly Betty and The Office - Rabbit Test and Casual Friday

Initially I thought Matt Hartley (Daniel Eric Gold) was a pretty awesome selection as Betty's new love interest. But between the skeevy sex addict past and the tedious poor little rich boy shtick is making me rethink all that.

BRING BACK GIO!!!!

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, let review:

Nice opening juxtaposing Willie and Daniel economizing by taking the subway and the bus to work while Betty arrives at Meade via a limo courtesy of her rich boyfriend. When she gets into work she finds the furnishings being repossessed. "I feel violated and not in a good way," says Amanda.

It looks like there might be an opportunity to save Mode when Betty gets an egg-vitation to Matt's father's exclusive Easter egg hunt. Betty gets the idea to use the event to set up a meeting between Daniel and Cal Hartley, but Matt nixes the idea.

So our poor heroine is torn between her sex addict boyfriend and her sex addict boss...

Okay, make that RECOVERING sex addict.

When pink slips start getting handed out at Mode and Amanda becomes a casualty, Betty decides to sneak Daniel into the egg hunt in order for him to get his meeting. Matt gets all hurt, but then tells Betty that part of his reason for preventing the meeting is that he knows his Dad is a control freak. Compared to his mother, Daniel says, "My Dad is Satan."

Cal Hartley's colors come out when he extorts Daniel into donning a bunny suit to hand out eggs at the party. But Daniel's humiliation wins him the funding he seeks but a what price down the road?

Meanwhile, questions arise as to whether Willie's baby is actually Willie's baby. After remarks by the photographer she hired to take baby pictures, Willie wonders if William is actually Christina's--so she directs Marc to discreetly find out if Christina had sex prior to the insemination procedure.

As if that can be done discreetly. Amanda joins him as he pretends to do a magazine sex quiz in an effort to get to know Christina better. "My sex I.Q. is crazy high--I'm like the Einstein of sex," Amanda boasts. Later, as she recounts a liaison with a U.N. page named Janos, she claims "I have a pornographic memory."

Christina catches on to the possibility that she and Stuart might be William's parents and she confronts Wilhelmina. It is decided that to find out the truth, a blood test will be done. Which begs the question--why not get the blood test to begin with rather than the inane attempt by Marc to figure out whether or not Christina had sex before the procedure?

Oh yeah--'cuz then we wouldn't have had any reason for the funniest lines of the night...

The test results come back saying Wilhelmina is the mother--but is that the truth?

After all, Wilhelmina extracted sperm from a corpse--I wouldn't put it past her to fake DNA results.

Michael's return to the office was not without some bumps. His former sales staff is more than a little miffed at the new additions to the sales team--and the fact that they "stole" their clients.

Michael, on the other hand, is waiting for them to apologize to him for not backing him up when he quit. And his special treatment of his former Michael Scott Paper Company crew irks the others enough to participate in a secret meeting called by Dwight.

Although no-one figures out how to reveal the message written in "invisible ink" on the message handed out by Dwight, so Dwight has to call Andy from the warehouse to get him to round up the sales staff--minus Pam and Ryan. "Oh it is on like a prawn that yawns at dawn," says the Nard-dog.

Dwight's plan: "I’m thinking a coup or we take Ryan hostage."

Jim warns Michael that there's "a mutiny forming in the warehouse right now." Michael responds, "They are in for a bitter surprise…I am not to be truffled with!" When the mutineers return to the office, Michael queries them as to their whereabouts. They lie and tell him they were at lunch.

"Since you guys already ate you won’t be eating the stuff you brought with you for lunch..." Michael parries and goes to the refrigerator to start eating their lunches.

But the situation is turned around on Michael when the group tell him HE should apologize. Michael decides that they are right (although I didn't agree with him...) and has Dwight call a secret meeting in the warehouse. He apologizes but what they really want is there clients back. So Michael rescinds his apology, but returns their clients.

Then Daryl lifts out stacks of paper and tells Michael, "What’d I tell you about building forts in my warehouse?"

This leaves Michael in a quandry: he doesn't have enough clients to justify keeping both Pam and Ryan on as salespeople. He goes over the pros and cons and comes to the conclusion that it should be Ryan. So he calls Pam into his office and says, "There’s no easy way of saying this…so I will just drag it out." But like an earlier episode of The Office, it's one of Michael's famous fake outs and Pam gets the job.

Tickled over the reaction he got from Pam, Michael decides to fake fire new receptionist Erin.

LOST - The Variable

Last night's Daniel-centric episode filled in the gaps between our first meeting with the overwrought physicist sobbing at seeing the wreckage of Oceanic 815 and the first episode of this season where we saw Daniel back in 1977 in the bowels of the Orchid station.

The show was bookended by Desmond being rushed into the emergency room following being shot by Ben. As Penny waits anxiously, Eloise Hawking appears to apologize as it was her son's fault that Desmond got shot.

Things we learned:

1. Desmond survived--Yay!

2. Daniel is indeed the son of Eloise Hawking. Duh.

3. Daniel is also the son of Charles Widmore. Whoa! (Is anyone else curious as to how the son of two Brits, and who also went to Oxford has no British accent?)

4. Theresa Spencer was Daniel's girlfriend/research assistant--and he tested time travel on himself before sending her.

5. The little red-haired girl was Charlotte--despite the fact she couldn't possibly have been born yet...Maybe she and her Mom time traveled back to 1974.

6. The release of energy from the Orchid resulted in the building of the Swan aka the "hatch" so that the energy could be released by pressing the button every 108 minutes. When Desmond did not press the button, it caused the crash of Flight 815.

7. Daniel discovered that his theory that you cannot change the past--whatever happened, happened--focused on the constants, not the variables. "We can change our destiny."

8. Daniel's plan is to detonate Jughead--the hydrogen bomb--to release the energy, prevent the "Incident" which will in turn eliminate the need for the hatch which means that Oceanic 815 wouldn't crash, the freighter wouldn't be sent to the island and everyone will live happily ever after.

Or will they? The crash of Flight 815 allowed John Locke to walk again, helped save Jin and Sun's marriage plus allowed the sterile Jin to impregnate Sun and give birth to Ji Yeon and Kate to escape prosecution for the murder of her father. No wonder Kate was more than a little dubious of Miles plan which involved "erasing everything that's happened to us."

A lot of information was disseminated courtesy of Faraday--he told Pierre Chang that Miles was his son and Jack that he and the rest of the O6 didn't belong there and that "This is our present...Any one of us can die."

Which is exactly what happened to Miles (unless Alpert offers him as a sacrifice to the smoke monster in the next episode). He survives the shootout at the Dharma corral only to get shot by his own mother.

Not too surprising since Eloise had the whole icy Mommy Dearest thing going for her. (Anyone else bothered that young Eloise seemed to have dark brown eyes while the elder Mrs. Hawking's eyes were aquamarine in hue?)

Best lines of the night:

Sawyer showing Jack the bound and gagged Phil in the closet:

"Phil, Jack. Jack, Phil."

Sawyer to Faraday:

"Welcome to the meeting, Twitchy."

Sawyer and Miles regarding Faraday:

"Is he still crazy? He’s on a whole new level, man."

Hurley after finding out about the time flashes:

"You guys were in 1954? Like...Fonzie times?"

Daniel to Kate after she hands him a rifle:

"Do you have something for a beginner?"

Sawyer and Juliet:

"You can say I told you so. Maybe after we get to the beach."

So, is Daniel really dead? What's going to happen to Sawyer and Juliet now that Radzinsky has discovered Phil in the closet? Can the O6 really change the past?

Guess we'll find out next week. In the meantime, revisit the expressions of The Variable with the recap at Lostpedia, screencaps at Dark UFO and Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney's Dueling Analyses at washingtonpost.com.

LOST - Computing the Variable

Once again, George gives us the lowdown on what happened and what's gonna happen on our favorite show ('cuz as we all know--whatever happened, happened!):

Hello LOSTies,

You know who I felt bad for in "Some Like It Hoth"? Not Miles finding out Pierre was his dad and him having abandonment issues, not Roger who grew suspicious of Kate, but Phil who got knocked out by Sawyer after he revealed that he knew that he helped Kate kidnap Ben.

Awesome things from the episode were:
- Hurley writing "Empire Strikes Back" (with a few changes)
- Hurley and Miles seeing the number get stamped into the metal at the Swan Station
- Alvarez being killed by his filling shooting through his skull by the electromagnetic forces.
- Naomi taking Miles to Felix. Felix was carrying grave pictures and an invoice for an old plane to Charles Widmore.
- The revelation that it WAS Charles that set up the fake Oceanic crash off of Burma.

The biggest revelation went back to "what lies in the shadow of the statue?". Bram, who is on Hydra Island with Ilana, momentarily captured Miles and told him NOT to go to the island. But since Miles wanted double what Naomi was asking, Bram just let him out with a warning that he was working for the wrong side. This begs the question....Who's side is Ilana and Bram on???? Not Widmore, pretty sure not Ben's....hmmm...could they be...DHARMA????

So on to tonight....

One of the most critically acclaimed episodes of LOST's history was the Desmond-themed "The Constant" from season 4. At the end of that episode a shocking revelation occurred when Daniel's notebook said "Desmond Hume is my CONSTANT". Well what is the opposite of a constant in a science experiment?? That's right "The Variable", tonight's episode, the 100th episode of LOST. LOST writers pulled out all the tricks for tonight's episode...so get ready to ride the roller coaster!

You will probably need to see this episode multiple times but if you like "The Constant" or "Flashes Before Your Eyes", you will love tonight. From pianos to a baby daddy, from gifts between friends to reminders of Boone and Shannon. Whether you are from the past, the present, or the future one thing is for sure....tonight will blow your mind. But the biggest twist will shock everyone...someone may not survive this episode....

2 weeks left to the finale people...

Reminders of BOONE?!!! Are we gonna get to see hottie Ian Somerhalder on tonight's episode? Fingers crossed!

Hip Hop Yoga

My Tuesday night yoga class has been featuring some hip hop infused yoga chants by M.C. Yogi from his album Elephant Power. I've been digging the tracks "Om Namah Shivaya" and "Be the Change."

I mean, how can you not like a rap song about Mahatma Gandhi?

OM NAMAH SHIVAYA - M.C. Yogi

Om Namah Shivaya

chorus
Om Namah Shivaya

Now I bow to Shiva with love and respect / I invoke him with the slogan so I’m open to connect / with devotion cuz I’m knowin that he’s always in effect / in deep meditation with a snake around his neck / he’s the husband of Parvati Maha Shakti / & he rides a white bull the vehicle Nandi / he’s Ganapati’s father mister Mahadev / and the Ganges flow down, from the crown of his head / a crescent moon rests right next to his dreads / he’s the god of the dead,covered in ash / with a smile on his face his compassion is vast / living in a place called Mount Kailash / in the Himalayan kingdom known as his home / & in the shape of a lingum he’s a rolling stone / to the king of all yogi's Shankara, Shambo / singing Om Namah Shivaya, Shivaya Namah Om /

chorus
Om Namah Shivaya

To Shiva Shankar, the yoga master / known as Nataraja the cosmic dancer / lord of destruction, god of disaster / and if you don’t invite him he’s the of party crasher / to the old school mystic, who’s non dualistic / Shiva guides my mind so that I can shift it / away from a place that’s materialistic / into a space that’s more holistic / magnetic ascetic you make my soul shine / you awaken the snake at the base of my spine / third eye wide open in a yoga pose / you show us how to focus so the lotus unfolds / in deep concentration with breath control / returning to the source now you feel the force flow / when Jiva meets Shiva opposites become whole / singing Om Namah Shivaya Shivaya Namah Om /

chorus
Om Namah Shivaya

Om Namah Shivaya the flames get higher / as the corpse gets burned on the funeral pyre / the soul never dies so it won’t expire / when it’s time to die just take off your attire / exhale to let go of your ego’s desire / let your soul be inspired to shine even brighter / like Shiva the one that I admire / dancing on a demon in a burning ring of fire / you embody pure Truth Consciousness, & Bliss / Mahadev it’s been said that your pure auspiciousness / creating, devastating and always transformation / you save the whole world when you swallowed up the poison / destroying bad habits ignorance, and greed / practicing detachment, compassion, and peace / to the king of all yogi's I offer these prayers / to the lord of meditation living in the Himalayas /

chorus
Om Namah Shivaya

BE THE CHANGE - M.C. Yogi

Be the Change

once upon a time not long ago / there was a boy who would grow and become a great soul / he lived in India and his name was Gandhi / he believed in human rights and he felt so strongly/ that he made a vow to train himself / he realized first he’d have to change himself / so he changed his clothes, and decided to walk / some days he practiced silence and refused to talk/ when he was young he studied to be a lawyer / and then he became a great spiritual warrior / he read from the scriptures of every religion / came to the realization that we’re all God’s children because he understood that we’re all equal / he became a spokesman for the people a karma yogi devoted to service / to spread truth & peace was his purpose /

chorus
Be the change that you wanna see in the world, just like Gandhi

Gandhi dedicated his life to the cause / even when it meant breaking unjust laws / he often faced prison and incarceration / but that only strengthened his determination / he said he would make every sacrifice / but that he would never kill or take a life / he used his heart instead of his fist / and he taught nonviolence as a way to resist / a peaceful soldier who used his mind / to fight for the rights of human kind / but not just people, animals too / his basic teaching “God is Truth” / he joined Muslims, Seeks, & Hindus / Christians, Buddhists, Jains, and Jews / all the many paths that lead into / the light that shines bright inside of me and you /

chorus
Be the change that you wanna see in the world, just like Gandhi

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” / and it takes more strength and faith to be kind / with that in mind Gandhi took a stand / against the foreign occupation of his land / when things got violent Gandhi would fast / not eating for days until the riots would pass / but the biggest event that made the british halt / is when Gandhi G decided to harvest salt / the British empire installed a salt tax / and stealing salt was an unlawful act / so Gandhi and his peeps, took the streets / ten thousand deep they marched to the beach / but when they arrived they were beaten with clubs / but they didn’t fight back instead they chose love / the foreign military realized they were wrong / and eventually decided to go home / you see Gandhi G was a very great leader / but before all that he was shy and meager / as a young child he was just like you and me / before he became Mahatma Gandhi / the word “Mahatma? it means great soul / and its inside of us just waiting to unfold / if you follow your heart and act real bold / next time it’ll be your story that’s told!

chorus
Be the change that you wanna see in the world, just like Gandhi

Heroes - An Invisible Thread

The season finale of Heroes was underwhelming. The climatic battle between Sylar, Nathan and Peter took place behind closed doors. It SOUNDED exciting, but unfortunately Claire was the only one who witnessed it.

The reason Sylar survived the metal spike Danko plunged into his head? "Shapeshifting...gotta love it .Remember that little off switch in the back of my head? I moved it," he tells Danko.

Sylar then sets Danko up by shapeshifting into him and shooting an agent. Danko is dragged away and thrown into a cell with Noah Bennett. The two are about to shake hands in agreement of joining forces to stop Sylar when Hiro stops time. He and Ando release all the prisoners in Building 26. "Payback is bitchy!" Hiro exults but then a massive migraine hits him. Mohinder tells him that his body is rejecting his powers like a virus.

Danko and Bennett's partnership is short-lived as Danko is about to inject Noah with a massive tranquilizer intended for Sylar, but Hiro stops time and injects the duplicitous Danko instead.

Sylar shapeshifts into Nathan and goes to the Stanton Hotel accompanied by an unwitting Claire. When he signs his name with his left hand, however, she becomes suspicious. I had no idea Sylar was a lefty. Guess he isn't all bad! Sylar resumes his own form and teases and taunts Claire, telling her that they're both alike. "You can't die. I can't die," he says.

"Oh, you can die. I'll make sure of it!" Claire retorts. "Well, everybody needs a hobby," sighs Sylar.

Nathan and Peter arrive to take on Sylar and when the dust settles (or in this case, the feathers...), Peter is bloodied and Nathan and Sylar are gone. Claire tells Peter to fly after them but Peter tells her he can't.

In another hotel room, Sylar dispatches Nathan by slicing his throat. "Oh, Claire's going to be so mad at me," he smirks.

Peter and Claire race through the hotel only to run right into Noah who aims a gun at the pair. Claire convinces him that it's her and not Sylar and Noah asks Peter, "Did you take his power?" to which Peter replies, "Yes."

Angela, who has tracked down Matt Parkman, rushes to the hotel room. Because her dream told her that Matt was supposed to save Nathan, she is devastated to find him dead.

Sylar shapeshifts into Nathan and, in a creepy Bobby Kennedy-esque simulation, encounters the President's assistant Liam. He then shapeshifts into Liam and gets into the limo with the President. All he needs to do is shake the President's hand, but when he does his shapeshifting goes amok and the President, aka Lt. Worf aka Peter, injects him in the throat with the tranquilizer.

Nice twist.

Angela and Noah convince Matt that the only way to make things right is via Nathan. So Matt performs his brain mojo thingy on Sylar and erases Sylar's identity and replaces it with Nathan's.

So Nathan is dead but Sylar is Nathan so Sylar is "dead"--or is he?

Volume Five "Redemption" began with the return of Nikki/Tracy or whoever she is this go-round. Yeah, Ali Larter is back but instead of freezing people, she can turn into water and drown them. And Matt's brain mojo thingy may be losing its power as Angela realizes when she visits Nathan/Sylar. When she presses Nathan for why she hasn't heard from him, he tells her "Just haven’t felt like myself lately..."

He then gets distracted by a clock running a minute and a half too fast.

Yeah, Sylar's not dead...