I will pay you $1 USD to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit.
I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this.
I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure.
I will require at least a 5 minutes stay.
A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure.
Please supply your own footwear.
The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery.
DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.
Okay, a couple of things:
1. The guy's a cheapskate for only paying $1. Yeah it's only 5 minutes (which works out to $12/hour), but have you ever trying washing gluten off your body?
2. Slippery noodles is just asking for a personal injury lawsuit.
3. You truly can find just about anything on Craigslist.