Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Memos to Morons, part two

TO: The obnoxiously impatient driver

RE: Me, trying to cross the street!

I'm sure you are in a big hurry. Like everyone in L.A.--gotta get to that meeting, get to work, get to Trader Joe's so you park your big-assed SUV in a compact space...

Me, I'm just trying to get from one side of the street to the other. I waited for the little white walking man sign to flash. You're making a right turn. Or maybe a left. And you decide to make said turn in complete defiance of my pedestrian's right of way.

Bully for you!

I especially like how, as you endanger my physical well-being with your vehicle that outweighs me by several tons, you wave to me as if to say, "Yes, I'm an ignorant and impatient asshole about to run you over, but I'm being FRIENDLY about it!"

It would take you five seconds to let me get out of your path.

Fuck you. Or in the immortal words of Ratso Rizzo, "I'm walking here! I'm walking here!"

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